Wednesday, July 21, 2010

If You Don't Care, Why Are You STILL Talking About It?

How many times have you heard/read, "I'm so over it!", "I could really care less", "This is a thing of the past", only to see/hear the same person CONTINUE to hint at/talk about that same thing that is supposed to be of such insignificance in their life? Not only is it irritating as hell, it makes the person saying those things look like a complete and utter fool. Usually when someone does not care to give a situation or person any more of their energy, they stop mentioning it altogether. 

I'm not saying that you can't vent and be upset about things that happen in your life. That is a normal reaction and everyone is allowed to do that but downplaying a situation to make it appear to others that you're this pillar of strength? It does the exact opposite. You haven't succeeded at anything but making people laugh and shake their head at you.

Personally, if something is bothering me, I will talk to one of my close friends about it until I feel I am "over it". Sure, people might bring it up again but I have good enough sense to know that if I am not going to take the time to tell the whole story, I need to just keep my mouth shut. Sometimes it feels good to play the victim because you get the sympathy/empathy from others that you wish you could be getting from the person you were obviously hurt by. I think that's normal, however, you should never make a fool of yourself, attempting to make a fool of someone else.

I've had some shitty stuff happen to me in my lifetime and there are times I will share it with others through my writing or I will turn it into a draft when I see it isn't anything I want to discuss with others. I make sure I give ALL of the information so that if anyone is going to form an opinion of me or the other person involved, it will be fair. Some might think to themselves, "why would I care to be fair to someone who was unfair to me" but if you're such the "bigger person" out of the situation, why wouldn't you want to be fair? Anytime I have knee jerk responses to other people, it is because I didn't care to think about anything I intended to say or do. However, I know that if there was even a slight chance that I would be in contact with this person again, I pause. I genuinely like certain people, regardless of whether they like me back so if anyone is going to burn a bridge, it isn't going to be me.

Some people I have no problem letting go of but others...they mean more to me than a tantrum I can throw on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, or when I'm having girl talk. If at anytime, I felt that my relationship meant something with someone, platonic or otherwise, I watch my mouth because just like some actions cannot be forgotten, words can damage just the same. We're all human so there will be some slip ups, I'm sure but everyone reading my blog is an adult so it shouldn't be too hard to stop talking about things you really don't care about...if you really have moved on.

"it was all good just a week ago..."

-Jay-Z

3 points of view:

A.Smith said...

I try to not even imply that I'm so over something when I know it's got me hot under the collar. Folks do that trying to win some fake argument but end up looking stupid. If you're pissed, gon' and vent and be done with it.

ChiChi said...

I'm still not over a certain situation, but I'm making strides. It was making me kinda mad when I was talking about the situation with people, cuz even though I felt like I was trying to give them the whole story, they were still jumping to my defense. LOL I was waiting on anybody to be like "Well, maybe you shouldn't have done such and such..." I can say that in the past, I wasn't careful enough with my words. I think it was cuz I felt like anything I said, big or small, would get taken the wrong way, so I stopped giving a fuck. And this here internet...will ALWAYS get your spot blown!

kimkim said...

Most of the time when people vent that "they're over it", specifically on social media, it's because they know the other party involved may see it and they want a reaction. I try to limit where and when I say that because like you said, it looks stupid to keep saying it when you clearly know that you'll go for another round if given the chance. But on the flipside, everything that pisses you off doesn't need to be vented on twitter. That's why they made diaries and friends!

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