Someone asked this question on Twitter:
How would you feel, as a Black woman, if all your exes married White women?
As soon as I read it, I shook my head but I RTd it and responded:
Who someone else chooses to date doesn't affect me
I can only assume that the person who asked the question feels SOME kind of way when their response was:
You wouldn't feel any certain way at all?
I laughed again because asking someone questions like that is usually in an effort to get the person to change their initial answer. My answer didn't change but I did elaborate with this:
No; why should I? THEY choose to marry/date who they want; NO ONE has ANY control over THAT but them...
The conversation ended there; they didn't inquire anymore or engage me in any further conversation on the matter. I hate when people do this because it is almost like, well, she didn't agree with me so let me move on to someone who does. Not quite my idea of good communication. Sometimes I think people don't think they can communicate with others who do not see things from their point of view. But back to the question...
Why in the hell is it so important to other people who other folks are dating/marrying? Why is it ANY of our business? A relationship will ALWAYS be between the two people who choose to form some kind of attachment to one another. It is nobody elses business, yet, some folks find some way to make it their concern. Skin color does not play a part in love, for me. Right now, I am involved with an African American/Black man but if a Caucasian man could love me in a better capacity, I would NEVER stand in my own way simply because we do not share the same skin color. That is foolishness to me. So when other people date outside of their ethnicity, it is not a big deal to me.
Everyone claims to want a post racial society but being concerned with things like this just move us farther away from that goal. A lot of women are always complaining about the need to be loved and in a relationship but always dating men that are not GOOD FOR THEM. If your knight in shining armor happens to be cut from a different cloth, be okay with that. If someone elses knight or queen is a different 'color' than them, it doesn't change the fact that they might VERY WELL be WHO is best for them. We have got to stop looking at different people as OBJECTS and view them as the human beings we would like to be perceived as. Otherwise...this shat is going to continue FOREVER.
If ALL of my exes married White women, I would NEVER assume that they hated me or themselves because I was Black. I would never assume that something is wrong with me because they chose something different. The only thing I would KNOW is that they married who they wanted to marry. The end. It isn't rocket science nor is it anything for ANY woman to validate her ethnicity on. Who an ex chooses to marry could NEVER make me any more or less Black than I am today, tomorrow, or yesterday so who in the fuck cares? If you do, you shouldn't.