Wednesday, March 03, 2010

True Feminism

If you look up the definition of feminism, it says “the doctrine advocating social, political, and all the rights of women equal to those of men”. I support this movement 500% because I AM A WOMAN. However, I think there are a lot of women who call themselves feminist when it is convenient for them.
For anyone who wants to nitpick about the definition, don’t. It came out the dictionary and it will suffice. The dictionary works when you want to make people aware of the correct verb tense to use, the difference between worse and worst, and anything else you want corrected amongst others speech, grammar and spelling. So the dictionary will serve its purpose for this blog.
If women are to truly feel empowered and practice their feminism, they have to understand that they must maneuver like a man in a world full of AND ran by men. There is a line of hierarchy everywhere we turn in life. Someone has to be THE LEADER and it’s been designated as a man since the beginning of time. Is there a flaw in that system? Coming from a Christian household, I’d have to say if there was a flaw in that system, I’d have to admit God made a mistake. If you aren’t a Christian and believe in some other higher power, same rule applies. For everyone who doesn’t believe in that “higher being” stuff, ask yourself who designated men as THE LEADER in the first place? It’s something to think about…
I think it’s awesome for both men and women to exist as equals. However, I understand that would require millions of changes due to potential accusations of discrimination. The truth is, we weren’t built equal. Men’s bodies were built to do things women naturally aren’t inclined to do and vice versa. As a woman, I have no problem acknowledging that. Feminism was instituted so that women would have the same opportunities as men, IF we wanted them. Some women are perfectly fine being home, popping out kids, raising them, cooking dinner every night, and being a humble, submissive wife. Other women want to run Fortune 500 companies and “running” a family is not on their agenda. There is nothing wrong with either role but feminism makes sure that women will ALWAYS have the opportunity to do either one whenever they choose.
With that being said, if you are a woman who is a gung ho feminist when you’re a single woman but turn into a “pull my damn chair out and you better open my door” woman when you start dating, I have a problem with that. Do you pull chairs out for men? Do you open or even hold the door for men? Do you pay for dates, willingly? Do you approach men and tell them you’d like to take them out? Feminism isn’t about forcing others to see how womanly you are or can be. It isn’t about whipping men into being submissive to us either. It is about being proud of your feminine side while excelling in life as much as possible. Sitting on your ass waiting for anyone to hand you your ideal of happiness doesn’t fall under ANY type of movements, last I checked.
As a woman, you should feel empowered every morning you wake up and are able to go out and set a positive example for women. I know plenty of feminist that are married and in happy relationships. They are with men who understand what they are about. There is nothing wrong with wanting to date/marry a man who can provide for his family while you’re able to engage in your dreams. However, if your man wanted to engage in his dreams while you provided for the family, would you be able to do that? If we are fighting for equality, my question is why wouldn’t you be able to do it? When asking for things to be equal, sometimes it just won’t work in your favor but when it does, you can feel relieved enough to be proud you’re getting what you want.
I’ve said several times to my daughters father that I believe I was born in the wrong era because it seems like my generation wants so much from every one else but will only do so much themselves to get it. We (women) can’t expect others to make us feel empowered. It starts with yourself and when others see that you are leading such a life, they will respect your stance enough to acknowledge your “power” as a woman. I always try to maintain a fair outlook on most things because I understand at any given time things across the board can change causing the balance to lean in someone else’s favor.
So the next time you express that you are a feminist, make sure that you are upholding the true meaning of such a term. True feminists work hard to keep the ideal alive and doing contrary only helps destroy the overall idea of women’s empowerment.
(I am the author of this posting but it was originally posted on the Lady Bloggers Society blog; if you would like to see the comments over there, click here)

3 points of view:

Chicken said...

If you could see me, you'd see that I am standing and clapping. I really like the part about expecting a man to open the door and pull out the chair. I asked my husband to never do those things for me, I am independant and can handle that myself. We split our bills 50/50 and he pays a few extras (only because his paycheck is higher). I expect to be treated like a lady at all times, but that is mainly in regards to the respect that I deserve.

AssertiveWit said...

Hey Chicken!
I don't mind when Babybottoms dad or any other man does "chivalrous" things because I know I don't mind returning the favor. Sometimes he gets breakfast/lunch/dinner, sometimes I do and that's how our relationship was even when we were just friends. I don't emasculate him at all and he doesn't demean me as a woman so we're A-OK! I am with the perfect man for me because he let's me be the woman I want to be and THAT makes me feel feminine all over :)

Laura E. Sanchez said...

I couldn't agree more with this article, I am actually writing one article myself about the same issues. I am extremely independent, I love my career and I have a good salary,but I do consider myself feminine, I like to dress up, wear make up every once in a while, but i am not expecting my boyfriend to open doors for me, pay the whole bill when we go out, and those types of things, obviously my body is different than his, so I think it is totally fine when he help me with heavy things, because he is stronger, but I think these days we women, send so many mixed signals, that guys don't even know if they are going to open the door or not, I think we have to be consistent with what we believe, and don't be hypocrite.


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