Saturday, February 27, 2010

Are You Honest With Yourself?

How many of you are willing to admit that something you are currently doing or have done in the past is stupid? I see and hear a LOT of people criticize others for the bad decisions they make in life but never step up to the plate and admit they've done some questionable things as well.

Not that this hasn't crossed my mind before but it was refreshed after reading two different blogs.

There is a young lady that writes about her life and she recently had a baby. In her blog, she admitted that she still smoked weed during her pregnancy. Now, while doing that is considered HIGHLY inappropriate to many people, she admitted to her fault not in an effort to brag on what she was doing but to state that she was trying to kick the habit but was having a bit of a struggle. She spoke to her doctor about it and she was taking it one day at a time. 

I respected that young lady more than I do most people and I'll tell you why. Many people have a hard time admitting when they are wrong or when they've done something wrong because they don't want to look bad in the eyes of others. In my opinion, it says a lot about someone who can admit to their wrongs, even as they are trying to fix them. However, there were a couple people who commented on her blog, calling her names, and being rude. To tell her that it isn't the best for the baby is stating the obvious. I am sure she knows that.

There was another blog I read about Melanie Fiona's song "It Kills Me". 98% of the comments pretty much agreed that the lyrics are retarded and the total opposite of women's empowerment. The 2% who felt could be easily seen that they make excuses for things they do.

I've ALWAYS had a great respect for people who acknowledge their idiocy and work towards improving themselves. I have respect for people who will admit to their moments of immaturity and if they are currently in one of those moments, not making excuses for why they are doing things. What I cannot stand is people who think they have to justify WHY they're doing something. If you know right from wrong, there is no need to justify why you're doing something wrong. When it all boils down, you're doing it because you want to. When you don't want to do it anymore, you will stop.

Instead, what I see and hear are a lot of people blaming their bad decisions on a situation and/or other people. 

Just because you did something incredibly stupid at 21 that you would never do now that you are 31 doesn't change the fact that it was incredibly stupid. This is where I see the problem. When will people get it through their thick skulls that we're all humans and make mistakes? If your mistake happens to be stupid, oh well, build a bridge and get over it because that is life. I know I am not the only person that can admit I did some INCREDIBLY stupid stuff as an adult that I KNEW was stupid even when I was doing it. However, I did it then because I WANTED TO.

It is no different for any woman who can relate to that stupid ass Melanie Fiona song or who was in a relationship similar to the song in the past. You can read the lyrics but anyone reading them knows it's stupid to want to have babies with a man you KNOW doesn't give a rats colon about you. It has nothing to do with acquiring a certain level of maturity. It's stupid. If I decided to do it next year, guess what? I'd be stupid too. The rules don't change to suit my stupid purpose.

I wish there were more people who could be honest with themselves about their actions...

7 points of view:

*stacie-ann said...

there is just no reason to be ashamed of something that is happening/happened to you. the only way to move forward from your future is to let it go of your past---even if it still is finding ways to complicate the present. something like that. :)

♥ CG ♥ said...

Whew, I'll be the first to admit I've done some dumb, irrational ish! Only by the grace of God am I still around to even talk about it.

I think the media has made it very easy for people to sit back, hear partial facts and make judgments about the lives of total strangers. It then carries over to daily life. Not that they're solely to blame because this has gone on since the dawn of time. Sometimes I have to catch myself when my first thought is one of judgment rather than understanding, empathy of whatever the situation requires.

As for "It Kills Me"....yep, lyrical failure. I've been trying to write about it since it came out, but get frustrated trying to wrap my mind around all the issues that stand out to me.

Unknown said...

I have made so many mistakes in my life, there isn't a website on this planet that holds enough space! Cruelly, our mistakes often teach us our best lessons. Why - oh, why! - do we not learn from our mistakes or listen to the wisdom of others? Oh, no! We gotta keep slamming our head in that door!

AssertiveWit said...

stacie-ann: I could think of a million and five reasons why some people are ashamed of things they are doing...but the main reason that resonates across the board is that they know what they're doing is wrong so they get embarrassed when someone else points it out. I personally am not ashamed of ANY decisions I make because I know I made that decision all on my own. I don't let anyone think or act for me so life is what it is...for me :) I will say this...for every bad decision I have KNOWINGLY made, I've made a hundred good ones. I'm not too big on consistently doing stupid shat LOL

CurvyGurl: the media used to be worth the information they fed to the public...these days? not so much...I hope that changes EVERY DAY.

I have a blog sitting in my drafts unfinished about It Kills Me for that reason you JUST wrote above. I think I'm going to finish but from a different angle. I think my dislike for the lyrics was stopping me from writing anything that made sense other than "this is dumb" LOL

phallatio: I'm a naturally curious person so I make SOME "mistakes" on purpose...I've been like this since I was a baby. My mom would tell me something was hot; I'd touch it ANYWAY just to be able to KNOW what hot felt like. As I've gotten older, I haven't changed much. Curiosity is the bane of my existence but the yearning to just KNOW keeps me doing stuff JUST for the experience alone. It sounds asinine as hell, I know, but I don't do things and blame anything or anyone for why I'm doing it. I know it's ALL me :)

sarah @ i run with scissors said...

Stopping by from Lady Bloggers Tea Party and have to say I love this post. In the group of people I both work and am close friends with we call each other out all the time for mistakes and you sure as heck better own up to them. But that being said we expect everyone to make mistakes and it is only the not being responsible for it that makes you lose faor in each others eyes. That being said, we tend to take it all with a pretty good sense of humor because as humans we make a lot of mistakes, so if we were serious all the time one would feel awful all the time. Which is why I believe everyone needs a quality thick skin and a wicked sense of humor.

Elena Sonnino said...

Great point! I am very good at being honest about myself---and blaming myself :)
Visiting from Lady Bloggers Tea Party...

AssertiveWit said...

sarah: sounds like you and your friends have a healthy interaction going on! thanks for stopping by!

Cara Mamma: thanks for coming by!

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