Friday, May 29, 2009

Being Pregnant and Not Being Married

I was raised in a Christian household that enforced a strict code of ethics and morals. I appreciate it more now than any time before in my life because it gave me a foundation of principles that I will also pass on to Babybottoms. Did I follow EVERYTHING my parents instructed me to do and not do? Of course I didn't...what person do you know followed their parents counsel 100%? NO ONE and I dare someone to lie and say they did EVERYTHING their parents wanted them to do.

My friends I grew up with, did "dirt" with, was best friends with, well, I am only still close to really just one. We've managed to stay close because throughout our friendship, regardless of what is going on with our lives personally, we never judged each other based on our actions. Being raised in a Christian household, I was taught that judging others is your quickest ticket to being judged yourself and the minute you do something wrong or something out of the "norm" happens to you, people aren't so ready to sympathize with you. I left the judging to those who like that sort of thing.

So when I got pregnant, there were A LOT of people I stalled on telling...namely, a good handful of people I grew up with. Granted, I'm grown and I don't put much energy into how people feel about my life decisions but I do care what my REAL friends and family think and say. Those people are important to me and if I've disappointed myself in any way, my next concern is how much I've disappointed them.

Telling my mother was fairly easy because she has always viewed all three of her children as simply...her children. No matter what has happened with my brother, sister, or I, and no matter how horrible it was, she looked at us the same way she did when we were born...as her children that might need her help one day when we get in situation that requires love and understanding. My father on the other hand...he loves us just as much but he has ALWAYS been the voice of reason for the ENTIRE family. Emotional isn't really his forte but when he was upset or disappointed in our decisions, he had no problem letting us know. He never really judged us but he did make us think about the consequences of our actions and laid it out straight. It was harder to tell him because all I could think about was when my sister got pregnant at 18, how he treated her.

My sister lived in the same house as my parents and my father didn't speak to her for 6 months. I thought he was ridiculous then (and I still do now LOL) for acting that way but if you look at from a father's perspective, I can understand why he reacted like a 'tard. It was his first born daughter...getting pregnant at 18...still living at home...not married...as a parent, you automatically feel obligated to STILL take care of your family and if this isn't in your life plans, you get upset. Granted, he didn't have to stay upset like he did and I still believe to this day, it has caused a permanent rift in his relationship with my sister. But as it stands, my sister had the first grandchild and my nephew spends so much time with my parents that it might as well be their 4th child.

Bottom line, my parents didn't like the fact that my sister had put herself in a situation that caused her to go contrary to how she was raised but it was no longer about her actions that led her to being pregnant...it was about that baby that was on the way.

Regardless of how a baby gets here, they never asked to come in this world so when they are on the way, those who genuinely love the person carrying the child, should do what they can to make that child's entry into the world, a pleasant one. I did mention we were raised in a Christian household right? So, the belief that children are a blessing from God STILL applies...whether you are married when you conceive or not.

So back to me...telling my friends was a hard thing to do because they have ALWAYS known me to not want kids unless I am married. I'm 29 and up until January, I had never been pregnant in my life. I NEVER wanted to do this "alone" because I've seen so many other mothers who have and it has been a struggle for them. I didn't think it was any different for me and so far, it hasn't been.

There were 2 people in particular that I REALLY didn't want to tell because for as long as I have known them, they have ALWAYS judged others for the things that they do. No one wants to deal with that...especially while you are pregnant. But the more mutual friends that found out, I figured I needed to speak up and say something so they wouldn't find out through the grape vine. One persons reaction was the total opposite than I had expected and it made me feel better that she hadn't taken her personal opinion on what happened for me to get pregnant and thrown it in my face. The other persons response...it was the opposite too but I could tell something wasn't being said.

Sure enough it comes out later that she doesn't and can't support me having a baby out of wedlock, simply because I wanted to send her a baby shower invitation.

This train of thought would make sense...if it was consistent with her actions. I wanted to ask what exactly was her definition of supporting someone who had an illegitimate child because in my mind, that would entail not being around us at all...ever. You don't decide when you want to be encouraging and nice to someone with a bastard child and when you don't. My problem isn't with her opinion...my problem is with her reasoning not coinciding with her actions and it just doesn't make sense.

So coming to a baby shower is supporting me not being married and having a child...but wouldn't giving advice on how to raise my kid, talking about my pregnancy with me and assuring me everything is gonna be fine, having jokes about me and kid's father, telling me I can call you if I need anything or help, and/or eventually having play dates with my kid, also a form of support? Maybe my brain has turned to mush in the last 5 months and I don't know any better but yeah, I think those are all forms of support.

Not that I care if she came to the shower or not (because we live on two different sides of the states), it's the principle of the matter. The baby didn't make me fornicate and as a result, here it comes 40 weeks later. The baby shower isn't for me...it's for the baby. So in the future, if you did ANYTHING for my child, does it change the fact that you would then be "supporting" me and my bastard child?

The point of my sharing all this unnecessary info is that when people have kids, make it about the kid, not the parent. Judging someone because of their actions contrary to how they were raised is not your place either. (If you believe in God) Let God do his job of judge and juror...he'll deal with me in his own due time but to pick and choose when you want to be there for someone who is supposed to be your friend that is having a baby? That's ridiculous...it's all or nothing.

The really sad thing about all this and how some people act is the same ones that judge you, can EASILY be judged for their behavior but they don't even realize it. The person who said she didn't want to support me having a baby out of wedlock, she has based how she feels on "biblical standards". I laughed inside because I've always known her to be this way but sometimes you think people have grown past certain things in their life. It's obvious she hasn't. Her life hasn't been 100% sparkly clean...not since we were kids and not even now. If we were to talk about the things that God doesn't like that is going on in either of our lives, we'd both have our fair share to contribute...but I suppose since mine is more obvious (read: you can see me being pregnant) it is easier to pick at it.

Knowing that this is how she feels, it baffles me as to how she would think I would EVER ask her about anything regarding a child in the future. She doesn't understand that even though she might not be saying it every time she picks up the phone or IM's me, that underlying feeling is still there. Every time she cracks a joke about my situation, I'm going to feel some kind of way about it. If you don't agree with my situation, this is nothing to crack jokes about...EVER. I don't see how she could even fix her brain to process that her behaving like that is okay. I crack jokes with people who don't judge me because then I KNOW it's sincerely a joke...not really how you feel glazed over.

There really was no point to me sharing this with complete strangers...I just didn't want to think about it anymore after today so I wrote about it. Comment if you want or don't.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Prop 8 Inspiring Hate

(I used this picture because when Black people were fighting for their rights, it was termed civil liberties, JUST LIKE THIS PROPOSITION. Regardless of how irritated you might be about Black's rights being compared to the rights of homosexuals, according to definition, it is the same thing. Don't be mad at me...write your government a letter about it if you're REALLY that pissed)

For the past few days, people have been discussing the decision on Prop 8 in blogs, statuses, and tweets. Some people have expressed their concern for what would appear to be a civil liberty being denied and others have been rude with their comments, even downright assholish about their PERSONAL OPINION towards the issue.

Me personally...marrying someone of the same sex does not affect me BUT some of the things I've seen and heard people saying is their reasoning behind not wanting it...well, A LOT of you need more people on your train of thought.

A friends status on Facebook prompted this blog because she asked a simple question:

"if gay marriage isn't legal because the bible says its wrong, what would everyone do if we made divorce illegal too (the bible says that's wrong too)? would more people become more selective with their choice?"

Very few people, if any, answered her questions. The focus became on WHY homosexuality is wrong and WHY the same sex marriage is wrong. I get irritated by people who bring religion into this discussion because there is NO ONE who can stand before God (if you believe in "him") and say they are 100% clean in living their life devoted to him. Many people CLAIM to read their Bible and that they are SUCH devout Christians but they fail to acknowledge that God doesn't hate YOU if you choose to have homosexual behavior. It's your actions that he isn't too crazy about. BUT...if you're going to act as judge and jury of someone else and their lifestyle, did you forget that he also says he doesn't approve of lying, stealing, committing adultery, or...THE NUMBER ONE SIN THAT TONS OF PEOPLE ARE GUILTY OF...fornicating?

Mention that to someone who is using the Bible as their defense and they either get quiet or say that isn't the point of the conversation. Well what is the point? If it's so wrong in God's eyes, have you assessed what YOU are doing that aint so right in his eyes either? People kill me trying to make their sins lesser than the person they are standing next to. This is why Christianity gets a bad wrap because A LOT of Christians will judge someone else for what they are doing, never taking into account, they sin too.

Why can't people just be honest and say they don't like homosexuality and THAT'S why they don't want same sex marriage? At the end of the day, be honest and admit, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH GOD. If it did, you'd live your life a little cleaner than you are today. To bring God into it is supposed to scare people, I guess, but if you don't have a relationship with God to begin with, you aren't scaring anyone.

With this Prop 8 issue alone, you can see all the hypocrisy come out of people. I really am curious as to how these same people would act if a law was passed that forbid fornication BECAUSE IT'S IN THE BIBLE. Someone tried to use the argument that "our founding fathers" built this government on a Christian foundation. Okay, well what's good for the goose is good for the gander so when some other "personal" things that people do in their spare time that REALLY aint all that godly gets attacked, will you still NOT care then? 

Far be it from me to tell ANYONE what to do because I do my fair share of sinning EVERY DAY, whether I know it or not...because I'm human. But my thing is...people just aren't fair and have no desire to be until THEY are up against a wall with their personal life decisions. And THAT is what irritates me about this WHOLE debacle...

Feel free to discuss but please keep in mind, if you're being rude or assholish, I will address it...regardless of you knowing me outside of this blog or not. Remember, if you don't want anyone (including me, the writer of this blog) to comment publicly on what you have to say, don't comment/say anything at all.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Just When I Think I Can't Be Irritated Anymore...

This is how I feel when people say OBVIOUSLY stupid stuff to me. Again, for some unknown reason, people become stupid around pregnant women and say THE DUMBEST things you'll ever hear in life. If you've ever been pregnant before, you can probably vouch for this being the truth.

Take for instance the other day when I was getting my hair done. I was in the waiting area but I could hear the stylists talking because they were being loud as hell. One stylist started talking about women who were pregnant and the things they should and shouldn't do. She went on to talk about how some girl she knew was stupid for trying to determine if her child had any mental illness or was sick because "you don't know if something is REALLY wrong witcho baby until they at least 2 or 3". Because she wasn't talking to me in the least bit, I didn't jump in that conversation but I did want to punch her in the head. I wanted to ask her if she knew what SUDDEN INFANT DEATH SYNDROME was...and then point out the keyword in the sentence was INFANT....not toddler, and not 3 year old...INFANT.

I get called to come in the area where the stylist who were talking about what pregnant women should and should not do. Unfortunate for me, I get sucked into this conversation once they see that I am pregnant. The conversation takes a different turn and somehow I am mentioning that getting relaxers while I am pregnant is a waste of time and money because for some reason (now that I am pregnant) the chemicals react differently in my hair (read: I will look like a sheep's ass by the head in 3 weeks versus my usual 3-4 months). The woman braiding my hair says, "OH NO! You not supposed to get relaxers while you pregnant anyway!" I just shook my head and calmly told her, "Yes you can; some people just choose not to but it doesn't do anything to the baby, if that is what you were thinking".

I get irritated when I find out she has a son...and is in cosmetology school...is she serious???

Moving on....

As if my hair appointment was not enough to be irritated by, I get to a BBQ on Monday and I mentioned something about the father of my child. I jokingly said something to the effect of calling him a knucklehead and someone (who I am convinced was trying to make conversation) says, "Oh girl, you can't be disliking the daddy. That's when yo kids will come out looking just like his ass". I just stared at her...you know, with the "I would kill you if there was no law against it" look. I wanted to fire back that actually who the kid looks like has to do with whoever has the more dominant genes...not how much I like or dislike the father. But I had a feeling that would go right over her head. I sighed and kept eating my potato salad.

I wobbled into the other room and sat down. When I'm sitting down, you can't tell I'm really all that pregnant but the minute I stand up, there is a rude and obtrusive belly in your face. Well after I had enough back pain for the afternoon I stood up and someone yells out, "GIRL! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE PREGNANT!" Yes, yes I am. Of course this is followed by, "HOW MANY MONTHS ARE YOU!?", to which I simply state, "I'm 5 months"...(insert rude AND irritating remark), "YOU HAVING TWINS?? CAUSE I WASNT EVEN SHOWING AT 5 MONTHS!"

Sighing again...

For one, you probably weren't showing at 5 months because you are HELLA smaller than me, as a person. For two, why do I have to be having twins because my stomach sticks out like a beach ball?

I didn't yell, like I wanted to, I simply replied, "I'm having one baby, a girl and you must remember, you are a LOT smaller than me as a person so that could be why your stomach wasn't this size at 5 months".

She went on talking about something else that I just tuned out but I took this as my cue to go. This is a big reason I go to work, come home and stay there until the next day. It isn't because I'm "hormonal"; it's because I'm getting tired of people WHO HAVE BEEN PREGNANT BEFORE saying stupid shat to me and when I reply they look at me like, "why are you talking? shut up and be pregnant". I want to explain to people that there is a difference between being hormonal and you being an idiot and I call you out on it. As my friend Shavaun said, "being hormonal is if you came to my house, ate all my cookies and I started crying; it isn't when you say something stupid to a pregnant woman, she responds and you don't like her answer".

If one more person calls me "hormonal", whether they are joking or not, I'm just going to act like they disappeared off the face of the earth. If you knew to watch your mouth around me before I got pregnant, that doesn't change now that I am pregnant. Word of advice, no pregnant woman wants to hear that hormonal shat ALL THE FREAKING TIME. We already know there are moments when our hormones are taking over; we don't need you to pretend to know when that is.

My vent on being irritated is over...

Friday, May 22, 2009

How Are You A Stripper/Drug Dealer and Broke?

I started writing this last night because my neighbors were on the patio with a guitar, bellowing out Beatles songs...from 3 am to 5:30 am. I had enough by 5:15 am and stomped next door to tell them to cut it out.

Since I couldn't get back to sleep I got on Facebook and a conversation was prompted by my cousin IMing me on Facebook before she boarded her flight to California this morning. I had asked her if she saw her sister's status on FB; her sister just so happens to be a stripper. Now, before anyone gets the idea that I have some reserved judgement towards strippers, stop right there. If that's what you feel you have to do to get your money, by all means, do what you feel you must. I will tell you right now, if I HAD to do it to provide for my child, I would. Would I feel humiliated and disgraced every night? Probably but nothing a few shots of patron and a blunt couldn't make go away. My point is, REGARDLESS of all the naysaying and "I would NEVA EVA" that most people will say, if that was my last resort, I'm taking it.

Everyone doesn't have family that can financially support them when the chips are down...everyone doesn't have a "baby daddy" they can harangue for ALL of their bill money. Plain and simple EVERYONE doesn't have the same options in life so therefore, do what's necessary.

But what I won't EVER understand is in a profession like stripping and selling drugs, how you can EVER be "broke". First off, they aren't the most respectable jobs...who am I kidding? They aren't respectable professions AT ALL. So if you MUST do them, do them STRICTLY for the money...otherwise, you look like a clown, lazy, and/or both. Both jobs are tax free and potential cash cows from the day you start them. Granted, not EVERYONE is doing them for the same reason but this is how "stripping" gets a bad wrap; drug dealing, well it's illegal and will ALWAYS be looked at negatively no matter how much you try to justify it. It just is what it is.

So when I see a drug dealer/stripper that still lives at home (but complaining about how they don't have money), I cringe...when I see a drug dealer/stripper that has no car, I cringe...when I hear about a drug dealer/stripper that can't pay their rent, I cringe...when I see the kids of a drug dealer/stripper and they look like easy targets for the stereotypical welfare recipient, I cringe. These are things that are unacceptable when your job dictates that you are doing it to pretty much survive. Like I said before, EVERYONE does it for different reasons but MOST people start out doing it because they need the money.

So my question is...what do you really need the money for if you aren't paying rent/mortgage, car note, and/or taking care of your kids? If you are spending your money on weaves, acrylic/gel nails, food, cheap clothes, expensive clothes, shoes, bags, plane tickets to go get tricked on or trick off on someone, and/or drugs and liquor, and then remember on the 1st, dammit, I still got my bills to pay, you deserve a swift judo kick to your forehead. This isn't judgement...this is plain old common sense. If you make $5,000 in a month and your living expenses/overhead is $1,800, take care of that first. You still have $3,200 to do with as you please but be responsible with your life so you don't succeed in looking like a damn idiot to the general public, family and friends. I mean, if you really don't care how foolish you look then hey, keep looking stupid...even to your fellow dancers and dope boys.

I won't argue with anyone and say that drug dealing and stripping isn't a "real" job. The effort you have to put into it is similar to being a waitress. You have long hours and your pay is based on how well you perform. If you are a sucky waiter/waitress, you won't get many tips. Same goes for stripping...if you aren't shaking something during the 4-6 hours you are working, you aren't going home with much money. Selling drugs is no different...you can't NOT take phone calls all day because you are sleep. When that phone rings, you MUST be available because it is the difference between making $50 in one day and $500. If you do the math on how much you can potentially earn in ONE DAY, ONE WEEK, and ONE MONTH, you'd probably want to abandon your code of ethics for a new set to have this profession (if money is your "thing").

I can recall some magazine like Newsweek calculating how much drug dealers make in a day and equated the pay to a worker at McDonald's. They were obviously doing their statistics based on the lazy dope boys. If you are making the same as a fast food worker, get out now, while you aren't incarcerated. It's obvious, this isn't the lifestyle or "job" for you if you can't make more than minimum wage with what you are doing...again, this is tax free money so what the hell are you doing that you can't make more than $7 an/hr? You're fired from life.

Same with a stripper...I've seen "successful" women who make their job look so glamorous that strip clubs will ALWAYS stay in business. For every reckless stripper abusing her profession, there are some "smart" ones who are staying focused on the real reason they are there...the money. Like I said, regardless of how you personally feel about what these people are doing to get their money, as it stands, if they are GETTING money successfully, worry about whether or not you'll have a job tomorrow because they always will...if they are actually working.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

The Losing Battle

I was just talking with my cousin and some friends about losing weight and what is a comfortable size. We weren't talking about me losing weight because I can't afford to lose nothing right now, since I'm all heavy with child. The conversation was more about them.

Since I am about to hit my 30's, personally, I don't think I ever want to see a size 6 again. The smallest I'd ever allow myself to be is an 8. To be honest, being a 10 or 12 is cool with me, as long as I am HEALTHY. I think a lot of people fail to apply that into their equation of losing weight. If more people focused on being healthy, the size they are would come out of the picture. Believe it or not, I know more "hefty" people who are healthy than thin people. Most of the thin people I know eat shat BECAUSE they are thin and think it's not affecting them. Silly clowns.

I lose weight for no one but myself. If folks need other people or occasions as their incentive, that's cool but they'll more than likely gain it back...and some. That's always the worst! I can remember I lost 25 lbs one time (due to stress). The minute I wasn't stressed out anymore, I gained it back. I wasn't tripping because I was healthy. This last weight loss (right before I got pregnant) was because I am a diabetic and I control my diabetes thru my weight and diet. I had let my weight escalate to an unsafe level and it was starting to affect me physically. I had devised a weight loss plan best for me and it worked best. Then I got pregnant and that was all shot to hell.

The point is, losing weight becomes a losing battle when you lose weight for all the wrong reasons.

I was reading The Death of a Genius' blog called Around Nowish and died laughing because I know SO many people who "claim" they want to lose weight and "claim" they are working so hard but then you see a picture of them and they still look like Chunky Monkey. I would never publicly broadcast my efforts to lose weight if I knew I was cheating at home having a private love affair with some cheesecake, cookies, ice cream, and junk food. Where do they do that at? There are some people who can eat whatever they want but they are also in the gym working out like a maniac, burning off all excess calories they ingested. If you aren't doing that, you aren't going to lose that much weight, if any at all.

Bottom line is, if you are REALLY about being healthy and in shape, you will always make sure you get some exercise in throughout the week and that you eat to live, not live to eat. There is nothing wrong with maintaining a healthy level of weight in your life and I think once people stop looking at these airbrushed turds in magazines, they'll learn to be comfortable in the skin they are in...as long as they are healthy.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

15 Minutes of Internet Life

The Internet has been a gift and a curse to the people.

I say this because while it is instrumental for things like helping someone with no sense of direction (MAPQUEST) find their way out of the hood through the GPS on their Blackberry, it also has the ability to ruin lives (MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, etc). That was a bit dramatic but then again most people who live vicariously through themselves online are...dramatic.

I had a status on Facebook not too long ago that read something to the effect that if me and another person met online and then stopped talking to each other for whatever reason, it really is as simple as hitting the delete button. I learned to accept this fact through close interaction with people online. I used to keep to myself and go online simply for the services CERTAIN sites provided, not venturing off into "meeting", "responding", or "interacting" with people I didn't know from a can of paint. I started posting some of my thoughts and "writing" on Myspace through the Blog feature and "met" my fair share of people through there.  Some I have continued to interact with through Blogger, Facebook, and Twitter but the truth is, if any of them decided I was not my weight in gold, I wouldn't shed a tear. Especially if I've never met them in PERSON. 

I am who I am online and offline...unfortunately, that doesn't mean everyone we come into contact with online is the same person. Some people entertain themselves with the lies and "other lives" they create to appear to be more interesting to people who have never met them before. It is easy to create a new persona online because who can really verify it? I mean, sure you can go digging or coincidentally bump into someone who REALLY knows who they are but who wants to spend all that time trying to figure out a person they'll probably never meet in life? Most of the time they'll end up contradicting themselves and you'll see they are or were lying about something at one point or another. It happens.

So when one of these people you've met online stop following, unsubscribe from your feed, remove you from all forms of contact through the Internet, do you get offended? Sure you might have the natural tendency to be curious but don't do anything more than that because then YOU look crazy. If you did something to warrant the disconnect, well there is your answer. If you know you did nothing, it could be that they just got bored with your online persona and had enough of you. Sometimes people just cease to be entertaining so they get deleted.

Point is, if it wasn't a person that you could physically reach out and touch or even call on the phone to inquire "what's up", get over it. Your Internet life has expired and you were disposed of.

The good part is, it's the Internet...I'm sure if online relationships mean that much to you, you'll have some new people to entertain in no time flat. Such is an Internet life folks!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

PurpleStuff TV

I was asked to write about Purple Stuff a while ago but I was waiting for the right time and although it might seem like I put it off for a while, I think this is the perfect time to present it to you the reader.

If you want to see what Saturday Night Live and many shows like it start out as, watch Purple Stuff TV.

When the show first started being filmed you could tell the chemistry between the two hosts had to gel better. As time went on, they began to work together like they were attached at the hip.

This would be Michael Moss and Michelle Joan Papillion.

Purple Stuff TV is special and important to me not because I was asked to brainstorm on some writing material for the show...nope. I would pay attention to this show whether I was asked to write for it in its beginning stages or once they get heralded in the same light as Saturday Night Live or MadTV.

Due to one person...Michelle Joan Papillon, best friend 1 of 2 as well as the Godmother of Babybottoms.

I've known her since she was 14/15 and I was about 16. When I first met Michelle I knew there was something "different" about her...from her quarky style to her ability to fit into any environment no matter what she personally had going on. You were either gonna love Michelle or hate her...and if you hate her, you sincerely might be a little jealous. I'll admit, when I first met her, I thought she was weird as hell but when you become rich/wealthy, I believe they call that eccentric. She eventually grew on me the closer we got as friends and the rest is history. I've watched her grow from someone who was being molded into the perfect lady into the person she wanted to be....an entertainer.

All of that is extra information so as you watch the first season of PurpleStuff TV you can see the natural progression of the show just as I did and so that my favorite "character" can grow to be one of yours. Hopefully you'll stay tuned for Season 2!!!

The episode I've enclosed in the blog features Lance Gross at the end and just so happens to be my favorite. Enjoy!


Random Rambling About People Who Need To STFU

I was supposed to write this last night but after cooking, eating, and just being plain ol' tired, writing was the last thing on my mind. It didn't take as much energy as it does now to cook so I am completely pooped once I sit down and eat. I almost didn't want to get up and put the food away but then I thought about bacteria and did it moving to the kitchen to clean up.

Having a baby makes you think about things that are normally insignificant to you...it also causes other people to say the dumbest shat ever in life...to your face. Just when I think I've heard it all, someone else proves there will always be someone more dumb than the last person you deemed so.

Take for instance people who ask whether or not you want your baby to be light skin or dark skin. Caucasian people do not have to deal with this form of idiocy because well...unless you mated with an "Other", you only have one shade/color your kid could come out as.  In the Black/African American community if you have anyone in your family that is not the current shade of "blackness" you are, there is a chance your DNA can pull something from them and you have a kid that is the total opposite in coloring than yourself. This has never bothered me or been of any concern. As far as I'm concerned, whether you are Halle Berry or Kunta Kente, you're all Black to me. My mother is significantly darker than myself...my father, more so on the "what is he" side (read: he's hella light). The father of my child is significantly darker than I am. Regardless of what color my child comes out as, I would love it no less because it is a reflection of me and my family.

I actually take offense to other Black/African American people who say stupid shat like:

"Dark skin babies are ugly"

Really? My mother is dark skin...and was a dark skin baby. Are you calling my mom ugly? Two of my father's sisters are darker than my mom...they were ugly as babies too? My grandmother, aunt, and uncle...all darker brown...they were ugly too? Ah yes, and the father of my child...dark skin baby...guess he was ugly too.

I've heard this hateful comment (no matter how much someone might think this is a joke, it's hateful to say) several times since I've been pregnant. Someone even told me to pray for a light skin baby. What type of coonery and buffoonery is this???? When did it become okay to say "racist remarks" ABOUT YOUR OWN RACE??? If someone other than a Black/African American said this, I can assure you, these people would be up in arms at the statement but because you are Black/African American, it's okay for you to say it? No it isn't and I'm STILL offended.

Let's keep it real...THERE ARE SOME BABIES THAT ARE JUST PLAIN OLD UGLY REGARDLESS OF COLOR OR RACE. I've seen some pictures of my friends and as a kid, they weren't no stunna but eventually they blossomed into the cute/pretty/beautiful person they are today. I would NEVER go so far as to group all people of one kind into a lump like that...it's ridiculous and totally untrue. Makes me want to punch people in the face due to their stupidity and shallowness...

Sometimes I just want people to shut the f*ck up...

Monday, May 11, 2009

My Take On Obsessed

From the moment I saw the previews for the movie Obsessed, I had decided it was a movie I was going to pay to see in the theater...not because Beyonce was in it. While I am a fan of Beyonky, her acting usually just makes me cringe. I went to see it for none other than the delectable Idris Elba. Oh yes, and I wanted to see how crazy they made Ali Larter act. The sad thing about the character Ali Larter played is that there are FAR MORE women out there (not just WHITE women...don't get it twisted ALL RACES got crazy batches like this) who are CLEARLY delusional when it comes to some man they are acting like they can't live without.

Question: what were you doing before he came along? you were alive right? so what in the name of all things holy makes you think you'll die without him now? ESPECIALLY women who don't even know or have never had a relationship with the man in question...you for real crazy as hell. Go read a book or learn how to cook a quiche...translation? GET A LIFE YOU CRAZY HEFFA. All that craziness Ali was doing in the movie...some of it was unreal. NOT how she was acting...how she was being dealt with.

I can remember a part in the movie where Beyonce got to be her over the top self. She was in the kitchen carrying on and trying to put her husband out the house. I have a point to make in relation to how Ali was being dealt with but let us take a second to analyze "Sharon"/Beyonce during the kitchen scene. She yelled out, "GET OUT MY HOUSE!!!"

I leaned over and whispered to Baby Daddy, "Ummm, yo house? You don't have a job and the last job you had, you were your NOW husbands assistant. Heffa shut up and stop being dramatic!"

But most of the time when a husband and a wife get into an argument this heated, what happens? He gets kicked out. For real? This man pays ALL the bills and you feel the right to kick him out? "Sharon" you'd be NOTHING without him. Seriously her character didn't decide to go back to school until she married him. So it aint like she could afford that mortgage on her own AND she was asking him if she COULD work again in the beginning of the movie WHICH signified....SHE PAID NO BILLS IN THAT BIOTCH.

I can understand her feeling somewhat betrayed because she had no idea what was going on and not wanting to sleep with him until she got some clarity. So don't sleep in the same bed but putting that man out HIS OWN HOUSE? I'd leave before I put someone else out of THEIR own house. On second thought, he would leave on his own because I have the ability to live in the same house as someone and act like they don't exist. It's one of my Super Powers.

So back to "Sharon's" kitchen scene...I agree with her point that it was his fault it had gotten this far. He dropped the ball SO many times on taking care of this raggedy heffa who called herself in love with a man she didn't know. Granted, he was scared at one point considering how he met his wife (at work/his former assistant) but "Sharon" had a point...their relationship had been based on trust and honesty. No matter how crazy the story was, he should have told her soon after that episode in the bathroom. I do understand him stalling when he got home and she was all bent outta shape about her sisters cheating azz husband but before he went to work the next morning he should have talked to her.

When that heffa was all in the car in her panties...another opp to tell his wife.

When he was in the office with HR...another opp to tell someone.

Need I go on? Because he had a good 3 more chances thereafter but kept the people most important to him on a need to know basis. THIS is a common mistake a LOT of people make in relationships then wonder why omission of the truth is viewed as lying. Ummm, because if you have the opportunity to tell the truth about something and you don't, you might as well lied about it cause you sure as hell didn't have a problem hiding the truth. Which is why it's viewed as lying.

So final issue with the movie is the end...for real Beyonce/Sharon? You gone try to save the SAME woman who is TRYING VEHEMENTLY to kill you? I'm sorry and Lord forgive me but my heart isn't that good. I would have did the A-town stomp on that hoe's fingers to make sure she fell to her death. I'm not playing. It's kill or be killed in these streets and that crazy heffa was trying to kill you. Dummy.

Overall, I was entertained...especially the sidebar dialogue me and Baby Daddy was whispering back and forth. The whole time I was laughing to myself because his mom told him to go see it so he can see how to deal with these crazy bitches once he get some money of his own. Her words, not mine and his dad was probably just sitting there shaking his head like please calm down.

After watching it I also decided to send Beyonce's management another letter telling them why it's a good idea for them to get her a linguist. One of my old managers wife is a Speech Coach and she can help her. I mean, if Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman can sound as American as apple pie, there is no reason why her Bama ass gotta still sound country as hell in EVERYTHING every time she open her mouth (Beyonce folks, keep up). It irritates me that she NEVER changes her voice to suit her roles. I swear before little baby Jesus if Stan Lee allows her to be She Hulk, I will march to Marvel Entertainment and set it on fire because at that point, they would clearly need to stop making movies due to their bad judgement of character placement.

And that's about it...

Friday, May 08, 2009

Rude People Irk Me

Lately, I have been witnessing some brutes in action and I feel like I should thank the heavens above that they chose to test someone elses nuts and not mine, figuratively speaking.

I was in the post office and this man walks in and proceeds to stand next to the guy at the front of the line. Now, unless a second line materialized out of thin air and he was the only one who knew about it, I am not sure as to why he thought he could jump 4 other people in line but that is what he did. I do not like being in line in the post office. It reeks of old glue and false teeth more often than not and this day was no different so I'll be damned if someone being rude was going to make me stay in there a minute longer. Right when I felt the need to clear my throat and tell him, "Sir, the line is back there", he turns and walks away like he has some other business to attend to. Good for him.

I turn around for 1 millisecond and this crazy man is back in his imaginary line but this time standing next to this docile, friendly looking lady (who happens to be White; he is Black).

I am pointing out the color of these people's skin because I have noticed that some White people won't do anything about being cut in line by a Black person. Rude is rude. I don't care what skin color you are; don't cut me. I don't know you like that.

So he goes next and the lady does nothing. I just shake my head. She notices my head shaking and decides to have dialogue with me about the man who cut her:

"Did he just cut me???"

"Ummm, yes. I would have said something but he didn't cut me...he cut you"

"I can't believe that! How rude! Seriously, I can't believe he just did that!"

"You should say something next time. I can tell you this, he wouldn't have been cutting me and not hearing nothing about it"

"The nerve of some people!"

Now, this man was standing within earshot of us talking so I know he heard EVERYTHING but my thing is, lady, TALK TO HIM...not me. I know that lady in KFC sure did get a "You're standing so close, damn!" before I walked to the other side of Baby Daddy so she would stop breathing all on me. But I guess everyone can't speak up for themselves.

Kind of like the lady at the airport...

We're patiently waiting in line for our boarding passes to be scanned and up runs Big Bertha and her 2 behemoth looking daughters. When I saw them galloping over to the side, I knew what was about to happen. In the blink of an eye, Big Bertha boguarded her way in front of the lady (White) and her daughters were about to try the same jack move on me...until I turned and gave them the Glare of Death stare down. I think I froze their blood because they stopped in their tracks and I turned away...as I secured my place in line and boarded the plane. Big Bertha didn't like the fact that I stood in the way of her two slow offspring so she decided to lower her shades and glower at me. I rolled my eyes, smirked and kept it moving. You can cut that White lady all you like but I was standing in line...not lollygagging off on the side finishing up a 3 piece and a biscuit. Stop eating that damn chicken when you know you heard them call your Zone already and get in line like everyone else.

The 2 daughters decided to pull their mom's Debo move on the frail, older White lady behind me...and sadly it worked. Seriously? You're gonna make this old lady fall and break her hip cause you wanna cut line that bad? Where are your manners?

We end up having to stand still for a second and the mom is pissed and decides if she talks really loud towards me, this will bother me. Think again boo boo. I could careless about you making yourself look like a clown while boarding. Her daughters tried to go around me but I positioned my luggage so they'd have to touch it to get up to their mother. First off, these girls had to be between the ages of 16 and 21....in my book, that's old enough for me to go off on you if you touch my luggage. The mom saw I was putting my luggage off to the side so they couldn't cut around me and this infuriated her. I just smiled again.

The whole point of this blog is...some White people are scared of Black people and some Black people use that to their advantage. It sickens me when people do this. For anyone who wants to say something stupid like using their Blackness to their advantage is minuscule compared to the years of slavery....kill yourself. This isn't eye for an eye. Folks need to stop being rude...period.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

The Jokes On Me...Again

I got suckered into participating in the free chicken debacle yesterday. I had decided after that ridiculous fiasco with Popeye's (which I PAID for food), I most certainly was NOT going to get caught up in the chaos and pandemonium of KFC. I was feeling a little ill at work and I let the father of my child talk me into going to grab some chicken and be out.

I should have said no...because I knew better.

The closest KFC is 2 blocks from my job but there is no parking so we decided to travel a little ways down the street to the 2nd closest. Enter coonery and buffoonery. On the way to KFC, we get into this utterly ridiculous argument about Oprah, which segued into an inane conversation about his life. As a result of me getting far too upset because he likes to end conversations the minute he's done talking, I end up looking like a maniac (WHILE DRIVING) because I was yelling and trying to get him to stop touching my shoulders. Any onlookers would have sworn he was trying to Chris Brown me up in the truck. It was horrible and all I could think was, this is Oprah's fault.

I finally park and we get out and enter KFC. Enter more coonery and buffoonery.

I like my personal space so when someone who I don't know is all in it, I usually move back some or move up so they aren't touching me. Being pregnant makes me even more conscious about who is standing too close to me. If you accidentally elbow me in the belly, I'm going to accidentally punch you in the face. So this lady is standing MAD close to me...to the point I can feel her breathing on my neck. I didn't want anyone to think that the chicken "wait" was making me ghetto so I just moved up a little...without saying a word. She moves up closer. Really? BACK UP! I couldn't take anymore so I did the "I will talk loud until you get the point that I'm talking TO YOU" thing. I start telling the baby daddy that this lady is standing far too close like she aint gonna get her free chicken. I turn around....I promise you, she is SO close, if I snot rocketed her, she'd get blasted into someone else. I say "DAMN!" at a level she'll KNOW she's out of line and I move to the other side of baby daddy.

I want to stomp on his toes because he's busy entertaining himself in some asinine comment war on Facebook...on my phone. I knew this was a bad idea when he IM'd me talking bout let's go to KFC. The lady behind the counter is trying to get his attention but he's so wrapped up in Facebook that he isn't paying attention so I turn around and yell, "Pay attention! You see all these people in here! She's talking to you!"....you'd think his reply would be "Oh, my bad". Nope. It was more along the lines of "Why you so irritated? Is it the baby making you act like this?" NO. IT'S BEING IN KFC WITH A BUNCH OF 'TARDS...AND YOU...THAT DON'T LISTEN.

So speaking of 'tards, this dude cuts line to ask how long the wait is on the chicken. 3 minutes on regular, 9 minutes on grilled. I opted for regular chicken because I wasn't feeling too good and I just wanted to sit down. That grilled chicken looked weird anyway. So the 'tard proceeds to ask the following questions:

"Can you put that on the grill for real? I don't want mine in no microwave"

"Is that real grilled chicken?"

"Why can't I have none of them wings for free?"

"Why yall taking so long?"

I just looked at the guy standing next to me and asked, "Is this clown serious? It's free chicken. STOP ASKING ALL THEM DAMN QUESTIONS!"

Finally the girl behind the counter looks at us and asks us what pieces of meat we want....bless the father of my child's heart. His greedy azz gone say, "Can I get 2 breasts please? Thank yah Oprah!"

This was my fault from the get go because I should have just said no, I don't want to go to KFC.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

What's Going On!

I've been back from Miami a day and a half and I already wish I hadn't left. While I was down there I solidified my decision to leave Atlanta after Babybottoms turns 2. I'm tired of Georgia and I need a change of pace, plus, I said if 10 years went by and I still wanted to leave, I would. So far, I have 2 solid locations in my plans of relocation. Even though I've been thinking about leaving for the last few years, it will be much like when I left California...when I leave, people will think I just woke up one morning, packed, boarded a plane and never looked back.

I don't care to involve too many people in this plan to move because there will always be that group of people who will try to talk you out of doing something YOU KNOW is best for you...right now, this is best for me. I need to be around new people...different people. My environment needs to change and my motivation to GO came in the form of this little grub cocooning in my belly. I want to move somewhere he/she can get some life experiences that most little kids won't EVER have a chance to experience. This is the first time in my life I'm actually considering living somewhere with my sister. We're both very nomadic people...can't seem to stay in one place too long, whether it's a city or apartment...I don't know who moves more, me or her, but this move, I want it to be for the kiddo and I want it to be somewhere that is comfy enough that we won't WANT to move...unless it's absolutely necessary.

In the meantime, I am plotting my leave from my job. While 11% of the USA might be looking for employment, due to being unemployed, I'm trying to get laid off. Imagine that! My reasoning behind it is of no one's concern but mine BUT I will have to go 3 months with no pay after I have the baby. Not a good look for ANYONE, whether you are working or not. Therefore, I must fly this coop as soon as possible. I'm taking my leap of faith and getting back to my writing full-time. I'm gonna convert my screenplay into a novel and call this publisher who pretty much told me, when I'm ready, he's nothing but an email away. I'm ready. I've successfully filtered my life of insignificant people who wallow in their stagnant nature so the need to succeed has grown even bigger. Plus, I want to be able to spend as much time with my kid as possible. Working from home will allow me to do this.

Speaking of writing...check out this online magazine:


I write a column/section called True Thoughts there. I urge you to look at the ENTIRE magazine but my column/section is the very last page. Some people might scoff at that but I smile with glee. I'm honored that the last thing they want people to remember are my words. It's somewhat endearing. Anyway, go take a look. The lady (Sommer Johnson) who got this great magazine up and running is going to be a GREAT success because her ambition to stand out and be different is there and she is motivated to MAKING IT HAPPEN. I've written for/edited my fair share of magazines and websites but this feels like something I could do whether I'm generating income off of it or not....which can't be said for A LOT of the magazines/websites I've worked for. Magazine publishing is a VERY hard business because the life of your magazine is based STRICTLY off generating advertisement. Considering the recession our country has slid into, people with money are very wary about where they spend it and advertising is the last thing on their minds. I commend Sommer because despite this, she is pressing forward. She's not letting the recession stop her from accomplishing her goals...and that is why I'm privileged to write for her magazine. She's inspiring!

My job hunting will kick into over drive once my Internet is up and running at my house. I have Comcast to thank for the snail like pace in which I am acquiring Internet. Effin slackers...
Thankfully, I have some pretty cool neighbors who helped me speed up the process of getting my Internet up and running by providing me with a modem (now I don't have to pay Comcast monthly for one) they just had lying around. I should be up and running no later than Friday! Woo hoo!

Until then, I am subjected to posting when I can...like now. I must get back to the slavery that is my job right now (only because payroll is coming up and I want MY check) so until next time...

Friday, May 01, 2009

It's Friday and I'm Headed to Miami!!!!!!!

I don't even know why I came to work today...it's so nice outside and when I got here, the Office Manager looked at me weird and said, "I thought you took off the whole day". I couldn't remember if I had put half day or whole day off so I decided to be "honest" and bring my tail to work anyway. 

Several employees have walked in my office all confused that my door is open and asking, "why are you here"? Yes....why am I here? I think I'm just gonna finish typing this and leave...get this party started quickly, right? (I know that was corny as hell but I couldn't resist LOL)

I signed into the airline while I was chatting with a friend on AIM, whining about how I wish I had a random $50 to frivolously spend to upgrade to Business Class when she says I can use her corporate upgrade...golly, I have great friends! 

Business Class seats are WAY better than regular seats and I get tired of people sitting on my hip in them little azz seats on the plane. I hate how airlines be trying to sneak attack "overweight" people, talking about if you can't properly fit in a seat, you MUST buy another ticket to cover the cost of the seat you are "running over into". First off, you REALLY don't even have to be overweight/obese to not fit in those damn chairs. I'm not and my booty meat/hip is always infringing on someone elses' right to their own seat. I didn't ask the good Lord for alladiss...I get it from my momma and it isn't fair sometimes...like when I need to stuff alladiss in that small airline seat. Sometimes I don't even want to say sorry to the person whose seat my hip is chilling in because of the glare they give me like "dang, her booty all in my seat!" I couldn't get the upgrade on my ticket going to Miami because it was a "free ride" but all is not bad...it's an aisle seat so I can sit as far to the outside as possible so my hip isn't whoriding someone elses seat. Coming back though, that upgrade is getting used and I won't have to worry about booty meat running over into someone elses chair!!!!

I tried to drink a cup of caffeinated coffee today because I woke up far too early and was a little sleepy when I got to work...let's just say the baby punished me for trying to juice him/her up. I'm glad my punishment came before I stepped foot on that plane though. According to one of my friends, there would have been all kinds of blogs popping up about me and my ridiculous antics on the plane. I'm sorry...before I got pregnant, I wasn't too much ashamed of anything but now that I am, there really isn't ANYTHING that you can shame me with. I know a lot of people who won't throw up or poo in anyone's toilet but their own but dammit...being pregnant isn't about what you want....EVER. So when your body starts acting cattywhompiss, you do what it tells you...IMMEDIATELY. Trying to "be cute" about bodily functions while pregnant will get that azz embarrassed anyway so I gave up trying on that one 2 months ago.

But enough about that...my Office Manager tried to be slick and send me an email just now saying she's gonna go to lunch with her boyfriend at 11:30. HA! Go ahead because I'm leaving NOW anyway. Better find someone else to answer that phone while you're out eating lunch because I got things to do...like feed my baby. I know I'm here now but I ALREADY told her 30 minutes ago I was leaving and she gone say, "Well, you said you were gonna stay until 1 pm"...yeah, I said that at 8 am when I walked in the office. At 10 am, I just told yo punk azz I was leaving in 30 minutes...keep up heffa. I told her to STILL take her lunch...just find someone else to cover the phone cause I'm Audi 5000. I'm not even worried about her...she was out of the office for 6 weeks due to having a hysterectomy and I had to do her job, my job, AND the HR Managers job (that they laid off) while having THE worse case ever of "morning sickness". Girl, bye.

Alright let me get outta here for she find some other reason why she might need my help until 1 pm.

Have a good weekend everyone (even though you won't be on the beach...like me! LOL)!!!!!
 

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