Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Natural Elitist...Please Sit Down and Shut Up

NEWSFLASH: just because you do not have a relaxer does not mean your quality of life is any better than mine...or that you love yourself more than I do...or that you are Blacker than me.

The truth is, regardless of the texture or "state" of your hair, it STILL takes effort to keep it looking presentable. Well, unless you are that person who prides themselves on wearing a ponytail everyday (even though you have a relaxer) or wearing that thirsty looking afro because you want to brag and boast that you don't use anything but juices and berries in your hair. Get over it...it being yourself AND your hair.

I have read TONS of blogs and comments on natural hair and some of the things that people insinuate and believe, in regards to hair, are UTTERLY ridiculous. It has NEVER made any sense to me when women pride themselves on not relaxing their hair but wear nothing but STRAIGHT WEAVES. You might as well cut all your REAL hair off and wear a bangin wig because no one sees your hair on a regular basis...not even you. I want it to make sense, I really do but it just doesn't.

As for the belief that the reason Black women relax their hair is because they want to look like White women...kill yourself. YOU might want to look like another race but don't speak for me or anyone else if that's YOUR retarded thinking. I am comfortable in my own skin, even though it happens to be Black. As far as my hair goes, I relax my hair because I don't WANT to grow out my natural hair and wrestle with it every day. When it is short, it is a breeze to deal with; when it gets past my shoulders, it's a bit of a drag...WHETHER IT'S RELAXED OR NATURAL. Just because it takes you no time to run your fingers through your natural hair, that doesn't mean THAT is the same experience for ALL women with natural hair. I don't like to walk out of my house looking a hot azz mess so it takes me some time to do my hair, WHETHER IT'S RELAXED OR NATURAL. Point here, EVERYONE'S hair (regardless of its "state") is not the same.

As for this belief created by some insecure moron that "good hair" is when you have a less kinky texture...you're an idiot. I have tons of friends who have so called "good hair" and STILL have a difficult time with their grooming. They have to deal with tangling, frizz, cowlicks, and other hair issues that someone with "bad hair" has to deal with also. I've heard them talk about how much they hate their hair because it is not very easy to manage. Just because the grass looks greener on her head doesn't mean it's any easier to comb, you sad pitiful wenches.

Whatever happened to self love? Okay so you hate YOUR hair. Deal with it. Find a style that suits your face, head, "look" and go with it. If it happens to be natural, embrace that and move on. Don't sit there and create reasons why women who relax their hair are exuding deeper issues within themselves that date back to slavery. Really? If that allows you to sleep at night after moisturizing your TWA (Teeny Weeny Afro), I guess.

I've never pondered on the women who choose to wear dreads, afros, and/or non-relaxed hair. Someone elses hair is not my concern and I most definitely don't IMMEDIATELY think that you are trying to reach back to your ancestors and show reverence for what they experienced through your hair. It's NEVER that serious. Really, it isn't. I guess the people who have all these theories for women who like their hair straight have all the time in the world to list them.

Point is, worry about YOUR reasons for why you do what you do and stop spending so much time accusing, speculating, and being a know-it-all about some damn hair that doesn't concern you. Also, all the women who "felt some kind of way" about Chris Rock's movie Good Hair, really think about how much energy you are giving to that movie. It's a man's perspective on hair....a comedian males perspective. Please tell me you aren't taking ANYTHING he says seriously. As for the women (read: celebs) in the documentary who contributed their 2 cents, I wouldn't lend much credit to ANYTHING they say either. Let them get the right movie role and one of the requirements is that she has to relax her hair; she'll be the first person in the salon asking for the creamy crack.

As India Arie said, "I am not my hair". Therefore, stop analyzing hair so much and concern yourself with something worth worrying about. For me, that's Babybottoms.

15 points of view:

Jay_fever said...

Homey have you seen the movie? Chris stayed pretty objective. If anything he was opinionated about was that he didn't agree with giving perms to children otherwise he gave a pretty wide spectrum of opinions (though the natural headed women were under epresented) and the over all message of the movie was for women to do whatever makes them happy.

I mean seriously did you expect Chris to villify women with unnatural hair??? Have you seen his wife's hair? And other than that...No man wants that beef with women in general no matter what they believe. Talking about womens hair is damn near neck in neck with talking about a womens right to choose...that shit is quick right turn into "No pussyville"...nobody wants to live there.

Check out the movie yourself. It's actually pretty entertaining.

AssertiveWit said...

LOL I don't have ANYTHING against Chris Rock's movie. From what I've seen (I have to finish watching it), I have no complaints. I mentioned him because the "Natural Elitist" were going in on him SIMPLY because his movie was called "Good Hair". I most certainly did not expect him to go on a crusade for natural hair hahahhahahaha

I always viewed his documentary as a form of entertainment but after seeing some of the blogs written in regards to his movie, I got a tad irritated because of the attitudes that were formed before the damn movie even came out. However, anything a comedian male has to say about "hair", I'll always take with a grain of salt because men RARELY go through what women go through with hair...unless they like to explore their feminine side more :)

Unknown said...

Well I am natural but don't consider myself to be an elitist. I have natural hair because I love the versatility of it and really don't desire having the irration of a relaxer on my scalp. Relaxers don't bother some people, or even if they do bother them or their scalp, they continue getting them and that's their choice. Regarding Chris Rock's movie, I thought it was good. I had no complaints, as I didn't go into it expecting some deep serious discussion about natural and relaxed hair. It is Chris Rock for goodness sakes, not Soledad. I don't think "Good hair" was a fitting title though because it wasn't really about good hair, it was mostly about relaxers and weaves. Good hair is more of a texture thing, which wasn't really discussed in the "documentary". But anyway, I do feel that some people go overboard with trying to instill their beliefs and values on others but I just ignore them. Personally, I'm going to do what is comfortable for me and whoever has a problem with it, oh well!

AssertiveWit said...

Well put Stefanie!

I think people should do what they are comfortable with.

The Natural Elitist came from reading and hearing so many people act like anyone who did otherwise was going to hell for making bad decisions against their hair and denying their heritage. Utterly ridiculous!

I'm going to finish watching Good Hair eventually but like I said to Jay_fever above, I didn't have a problem with what I saw thus far. Like you, I feel Chris Rock should have named it something else but hey, whatever, it's out now so no changing it!

Jay_fever said...

The name of the movie came from his daughter...who was allegedly the sole inspiration for the documentary in the first place.

The story went like...One day his little daughter came to him and asked why she didn't have "Good Hair". So he looked at his pretty infant daughter and asked himself where the hell did you get such an idea from you and your hair are beautiful...and the story went from there...That was like in the first five minutes of the movie...

May I be so brave as to say...it doesn't sound like you're that open to the movie. It sounds like you're bringing (for lack of a better word...and damn I wish I could think of a better word) baggage to the table rather than just watching the movie and judging it based on its merit (or lack of).

AssertiveWit said...

cricket? @Jay_fever you didn't read my comment to you? I said I didn't have a problem with the movie AT ALL; no complaints here...do you want me to have a problem with it? I don't understand...

I'm all for the documentary! I know where the title came from AND what went on with his daughter so you are being kind of brave there buddy to STILL think I'm trying to throw the movie under the bus.

My blog wasn't even about the movie really; I believe I stated why I mentioned Chris' movie. I'll state it again...my reason for mentioning his movie was because so many OTHER people (read: NOT ME) had negative commentary about it BECAUSE it was called Good Hair..and they hadn't even seen it yet.

My blog was about people who wear natural hair that attempt to make others who don't, feel bad.

You just lost a cool point hahahhahaa


Jay_fever said...

my bad...lol

I just read how ya'll were saying how ya thought it should've been titled something else and thought that it didn't make sense to name it anything else because of the story.

Again my bad...lol.

ChiChi said...

I liked the movie, although I agree about the title. I think the title probably had some naturals thinking it would be more about "good hair" or loosely textured hair vs. "bad hair" or kinky, "nappy" hair.

I used to have a relaxer, so I can't hate on people who still relax with the blanket statement about them trying to be white; that's not what I was trying to do.

I do have a problem with people who perm and say they can't/won't go natural because it's just "sooo difficult" or they don't have the "right hair" when most of the time, they probably don't know what their unprocessed hair looks like in it's natural state.

I never thought I'd be as happy as I am about these naps sitting on top of my head. I'm trying to get my Angela Davis on!

AssertiveWit said...

:) @ Jay_fever

ChiChi: I've had both as well and the time it takes to do my hair only changed depending on the length. The natural color of my hair is this sandy brown color so when it's short and unrelaxed, it always looks "ashy" (for lack of a better word). No matter how moisturized it was...ashy. I don't like that look so I would use various products to give it a brighter sheen, hence prolonging what should have been a simple process of getupandgo. It wasn't difficult but I said if I was putting this much effort into my short and natural hair, I might as well relax it and grow it out.

Truth is, I'm happy with my hair as long as I look cute in pictures. The end. hahahahahaha

The Mintz Collective said...

I have never heard of the term Natural Elitist but I know what you mean. I wrote about a black woman's right to choose how she wears her hair and how this should not divide us on my blog. The post is titled Pro Choice. Please check it out and let me know what you think.

Take care and God bless,mizzmintz

AssertiveWit said...

CollectiveMintz: I created that (Natural Elitist), more or less, being sarcastic; it isn't any "real" term to describe people who are pushy about hair types LOL

I'll check your blog out shortly :)

CraigJC said...

Great post. (and pic, lol). People seem to think it validates them if they can put down the next person or insinuate in some way that they are "realer" than thou.

antique bronze chandelier said...

I love the pic.

khaki la'docker said...

very good read!

Anonymous said...

I am definitely not a natural elitist but I AM a natural encourager (totally made that up). The majority of women who relax their hair who I have talked to unfortunately fall into the category of my-hair-is-way-too-nappy-ooh-girl-she-needs-a-perm-walkin-around-looking-a-mess category...the same women who haven't actually seen their natural texture since babyhood. You are a rarity (again in my experience only) and I do appreciate your point of view.

I have nothing more constructive to add after that lion photo lol

Gem aka @DaydreamGem

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