Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Enough With the "Good Hair" Already!!!!

So, Chris Rock has incited some fury in a few folks with his movie/"mockumentary" called Good Hair (I only call it a "mockumentary" because I'm sure the jokes are gonna fly the entire duration of the film, intentional or not, and some folks are going to be hotter than fish grease about it).

Several blogs have been generated that bring into question how Black someone is based on their hair, how parents deal with a child who has hair that doesn't resemble theirs, why reactions are different to certain hairstyles that Black women wear. For the most part, you can QUICKLY tell which people are sensitive to this issue. If you happen to have a differing opinion, you're quickly treated as though you aren't Black enough to speak on the subject because "you probably got that "good hair" yourself". I call bullshat on it all.

Some days I walk out the house having a GREAT hair day; other days, it aint so fabulous and don't get too close because you might not like what you see. I can live with this; I'm not perfect and neither are you so no harm, no foul.

Personally, I feel, if you are going to let someone make you feel inferior because of your hair texture, you have bigger problems with YOURSELF than anyone could EVER make you have. If you comb your hair and look presentable, what effing difference does it make if you have a tighter curl pattern than the person sitting next to you?

As a Black man, you should feel free to date who you please without being attacked by Black women about your preference in Black women you date. So what if your track record shows you date lighter skinned sisters than yourself who wear their hair straight? If he was dating a White woman, then some Black woman would have a problem with that. It's almost like there are a class of people sitting around waiting to have a problem with something everyone does. I just want to know...what in the f*ck is the REAL problem with YOU? Would the situation be any different if he chose to date a "sista" who had natural hair but ALWAYS wore a straight weave? Let's ask her WHY she isn't "comfortable" wearing her natural hair she PURPOSELY doesn't relax but opts to wear some hair that isn't even hers, relaxed. Is HE still the problem or should we divert our attention to her and MAKE her have a problem for wanting to wear a hairstyle contrary to what's growing out of her head? You see how silly this can get?

Yes, I do think there are better things to think about and draw attention to than the texture of someones hair...seriously, don't you too?

Hair is just like eye color, skin tone, and anything else you inherit from your family....it's determined by your parents collective gene pools. Therefore, you could be that ONE person in your immediate family that has the "kinky" hair or the "good hair"; you have kids one day and their hair texture is TOTALLY different than yours. Your kid has either dug in your gene pool or the other parents and pulled out a trait different than your own. Can we still sit up here and have the same dumb azz argument that you can't relate to your child because you have different textures of hair? It's seriously ridiculous. You work with what you have and if you don't know what to do with "kinky" or "good hair", as a parent, you learn. Also as a parent, you teach your child to not walk around like they are better than anyone BECAUSE of the texture of their hair. This lesson isn't JUST to be taught to children who have "good hair"; teach it to the children who have the "kinky" stuff too because there is a shatload of Black women walking around who THINK they are FAR more ethnic than their "sisters" because they wear their hair natural. Basically, you're an idiot if you measure your Blackness by the texture of your hair.

When someone who isn't Black looks at me or my mom, all they see are two Black women; they aren't sitting there analyzing why my hair is lighter and longer than hers. Although my mom is shades darker than me and let her tell it (she's old school), I have "good hair", she can out grow my hair ANY DAY but to the outsider looking in, how would you know that if you judge folks Blackness on their skin color and hair style? You'd have to make another silly assumption that in the end doesn't really make sense anyway. My hair can be just as difficult to manage as anyone elses; I simply know what to put in it so it doesn't look dry as the Sahara or doesn't roll up on the back of my neck and look like black rice.

Point is, get over the hair issue people and work on how you perceive yourself, as well as, your perception of other people who look different than you. If God wanted ALL Black people to look alike, he would have made us one color and with one texture of hair. Any other time you'd be offended if someone said "all Black people look alike" but in this case, it's almost like you aren't happy UNLESS we ALL look alike. Make up your minds people....

11 points of view:

kweensweetee said...

love it...and you are absolutely right...
i have had natural hair all my life and to this day, it confuses and amazes me how people would go on about the texture of my hair and now my daughter's hair...i know people with 'long, flowy hair' that has breakage and dryness, so whatever...i mean, it's just hair....schm...know how to take care of it and you will have beautiful hair as well...double schm!

Milly said...

Thank you! Sometimes this topic gets ridiculous, I mean did you see how they ripped Solange apart for cutting her hair??? I dont understand what the big deal is? At the end of the day its just hair, all that matters is that you keep your hair healthy regardless of what texture or style you have.

Assertive Wit said...

kweensweetee: I had a roommate who was Puerto Rican and Black so one would assume she had "good hair"...WRONG. She didn't take care of it so it looked all crispy and crunchy most of the time. Now, had she taken care of it, she might not have gotten side eyes when she told people of her heritage. Point is, ANYONE can have manageable hair...just gotta know how to manage it!

Milly: As for Solange, I don't like her hair because it looks like dirty tennis ball head. I'm not saying that because it's short and natural...I had the same length hair myself. I'm saying it looked like that cause it looked like she needed to moisturize and style it. Now if she was going for the "dry" look, so be it, it's her raggedy azz hair but that's why some women with natural hair get whorided on because it just looks like they don't care at all how their hair looks. If we wanna talk about how Black folks used to wear their hair back in the day, it would do folks well to remember that even back then, they put oil/grease/etc in their hair to keep it healthy and looking nice!

Some people need to get it through their heads that you don't NEED a relaxer for your hair to look nice and you don't NEED natural hair to retain your "blackness".

Anonymous said...

So, if I have a bad hair day how Hispanic does that make me?

Assertive Wit said...

Anonymous: I'm going to assume you're being sarcastic cause someone's hair doesn't dictate how culturally ethnic they are no matter what race :)

phallatio said...

I haven't seen 'Good Hair' but I cannot believe Chris Rock is saying that 'good hair' is best and that those with natural and/or difficult hair are inferior. I think it's more likely he is ridiculing EVERYONE ELSE'S obsession with hair, make-up and their bodies. And it is an warped and unhealthy obsession! Too many young girls (both black and white) imagine that an elaborate hair style and an ornate design on their nails are all they need to snare a husband.

Assertive Wit said...

phallatio: I didn't mention Chris Rock because I believed he was saying a certain texture of hair was better than another. I mentioned his new film simply because of the title and I am SURE there are going to be groups of people ready to pick it to pieces.

I mean, he's a comedian so there isn't much he says that should be taken seriously, especially when he's "performing". I will go see it though and then form my own opinion about what he's saying...it should be interesting to watch.

Black Yoda said...

Dirty Tennis ball...lol Well, I keeps mine "nap"tural. Personally, I don't care what style you have. I don't care what skin color you're attracted to. It doesn't affect me. But I do wish people would be honest with themselves though. If you wear a blond wig and blue contacts, hopefully you might start to wonder why you're doing that one day. If you only date people of one particular shade, then don't tell me you're colorblind or color doesn't matter. Ex: "I don't care about color. I'll date any one. It just so happens that everyone I've ever dated over the last 15 years looks exactly the same."...lol I say own your shit. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that you have a preference. But if you prefer to feign ignorance, or revel in it, I say go ahead. I don't care.

phallatio said...

I've just seen a trailer of the film. And, even without seeing the film, I was right. I am certain this film will change women's attitude to their hair.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A68UVn0nMvo

Assertive Wit said...

Black Yoda: People being honest with themselves isn't something that is easily done. But on the flip side of that, it isn't always about someone elses opinion of WHY you are doing what you are doing either. There are some people who would have you believe that because you are a Black woman relaxing your hair, deep inside your soul, you desire to be White. That's some effing foolishness. Can it just be that I want my hair more manageable than what it is? If I was born with hair that was less curly, then I wouldn't have to put a relaxer in it in the first place so then what would someone have to say when I blow dry it straight? (that was just an example because my hair isn't so difficult that it has me crying in the bathroom; whether it's relaxed or in it's natural state)

You said something VERY important: "It doesn't affect me". People REALLY need to mind their business and let people do as they please with their hair. Period.

phallatio: I saw the trailer before I even wrote this blog LOL...

You saying that this ONE MOVIE is going to "change women's attitude to their hair" is tantamount to someone saying because President Obama has been elected, we NOW live in a post racial society. These kinds of "things" DO NOT change overnight and DEFINITELY NOT because of one film featuring a comedian talking about something that Black women have been giving the side eye for decades on top of decades.

The (Black) WOMEN who have a problem with other (Black) women not leaving their hair in it's natural state have deep seated issues with how THEY are viewed and THEIR appearance; they take those "feelings" and then try to push them off on others. Until THAT stops, like I said, there is ALWAYS going to be that group of people who have something to say about the state of a Black persons hair.

Jay_fever said...

IMO I think the problem is that some people automatically assume that a black woman whom rocks the perm or the dude that only dates woman with the perm or the light skinned chick with the long hair hates (more or less)hates their genetic inheritance. Sometimes it's true sometimes it isn't.

Great blog as usual homey

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