Thursday, July 02, 2009

Online Social Networks Can Be the Death of You

Sometimes I can't believe how easily I am entertained by the foolishness of others. The larger online social networks become, the greater my chances of being entertained by the simpletons who overshare to the point that you can pretty much hear them telling you that "Hey! Look at me! I'm that idiot who is going to entertain you today!"

Even if I was to stop being friends with someone, it isn't like I forget what they are capable of. When we were friends, I usually looked past their blatant idiocy and loved them anyway. Now that we are no longer friends, I can laugh out loud as much as possible as they update people on their life not knowing the joke is ALWAYS about them. No one laughs with them...and I don't feel bad because no one was laughing with them when I was friends with them either.

So when you post something in your status messages about "being grown" but one of your parents are railing on you about your lifestyle, it seems innocent enough and like your parents are just being dicks....yeah, but you failed to mention that you LIVE in their house. Frankly, I don't look at living with my parents any different than living with a friend who isn't charging me rent...I am FOREVER at their mercy until I get up off my grown azz and move out. End of story. There is no debate to be had. When you get ANYTHING for FREE, you can't SERIOUSLY complain. This excuse that "I'm grown and they should respect that"....you're ABSOLUTELY right but if your parents are taking care of you in ANY aspect, suck it up or don't take the handout. Grown folks don't answer to people for a reason...they don't have to because they don't owe anyone anything.

Stop posting things like you're balling when there is TANGIBLE proof that you aren't. People post pictures all the time, trying to convince the unsuspecting passerby "following" them that they are living the high life. That Cristal bottle wasn't yours and it was empty...not because you drank any of it. You just picked it up off the floor before the waitress could grab it and told your friend to shoot a picture real quick. You're lame and so is the friend who took the picture.

And these relationship statuses...those are the funniest. If you are "complicated" one day, "single" the next, "engaged" a week later, "married" the next day, then back to "complicated" and/or "single 7 days later, you are the butt of a lot of jokes. Yea, yea, I hear it all the time, "It's my profile and I can put up what I want!" You sure can...and the general public (this would include your "friends") laughs at you EVERY TIME you change your status. "Claiming" to have a significant other and doing stuff like this does not support anything you are talking about when you tweet things like "my boyfriend/girlfriend is about to come over and rub my back". Oh you have a boyfriend/girlfriend today? Sometimes I think these delusional nits forget that the day before their alleged back rub, they wrote "I hate the ground he/she walks on and I wish he/she would die yesterday". Yeah, yo retard azz wrote that shat and EVERYONE laughed...cause we knew your Internet love would be on and cracking the next day. Seriously, waste your characters on something else. Although, I will say thank you for not writing things like "I'm buttering my toast"...this is FAR more entertaining than buttered bread.

Online social networks give you millions of opportunities to kill yourself on a daily basis. Especially now that people are mixing ALL their communication up. You have people RTing (re-tweeting) messages from Twitter on Facebook. I would GREATLY appreciate it if folks kept the networks separate but sometimes it is highly entertaining when they choose to air their foolishness for all to see. That many more laughs can be had at their expense.

I wasted 45 minutes today just laughing...at someone elses expense and they had no idea. I would give other people the opportunity to laugh at me and my life but this is probably why it isn't gonna happen:

1 - If I don't like you and I KNOW you don't like me, "follow" is not something I do OR let you do...and "friends"? not in this lifetime buddy

2 - I was once a believer in public profiles...until I got a nosey employer. EVERYTHING is privacy protected now because he doesn't know how to keep personal and work separate. I used to say that people who made their pages private had something to hide...I still believe that. I have my personal life I want to ALWAYS keep separate from my plantation life

3 - Because I don't make up stuff to seem interesting my life isn't all that interesting (or at least I don't think it is). I randomly talk about my daughter and the imaginary circus she's concocted in my stomach...I clown dying celebrities (RIP Mike...that wasn't a joke...the RIP)...I'm sarcastic...I share my opinions if you ask...yeah, that's about it so if you're looking for a laugh at my expense, it might take a while to get one

With all that being said...keep entertaining the masses if you fit in the "Overshare to the Point of Killing Yourself" because I am DEFINITELY entertained!

4 points of view:

NightFall914 said...

I sooooo love you for this post cuz it's the god honest truth.

"And these relationship statuses...those are the funniest"

You never lied. It's foul at times and maybe a lil bit judgmental but when I see some of things people I know post up I'm like, "I'm not surprised by where you are in life" All Flash and no substance. Like Ma I KNOW YOU!!!That's not how you're living.

But anyway.You delivered another smile to me. ;)

jeanette nicole* said...

The relationship status stuff on FB really cracks me up. Especially when people I know hook up with someone on a random Friday night, by Sunday they're "In a Relationship" and by the next Wednesday "It's Complicated". Fuggouttahere with that mess!

Lite Bread said...

"being entertained by the simpletons who overshare to the point that you can pretty much hear them telling you that "Hey! Look at me! I'm that idiot who is going to entertain you today!""
Wow, if I hadn't read any further, I'da thought you was talkin' about ME! LOL. But, I ain't smart enuf (or interested enough)to do MyFace and stuff.
And "Relationship"?! It be so long I don't HAVE a 'status' no more, lol.

Craigjc said...

Ha. People can def show how stoopid they are, but the thing is, they don't realize there FUTURE EMPLOYER can/will read that stuff if it's out there. Tsk. Tsk.

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