Monday, June 22, 2009

Just Please...Stop Talking!

Maybe I should just lock myself in the house for the next 3 months until I go into labor. I thought I was doing a good enough job by going to work and just coming home. In the middle of my forced anti-social behavior, my friend just had to have a birthday party for her son...why'd he have to turn 1 years old before Babybottoms due date, I don't know. (Kidding)

Anyway, there were a few of my friends I hadn't seen in a while that were going to be there. I didn't want to wait until my baby shower (next month) to see them so I decided to drag myself out into 104 degrees of Atlanta, GA heat and be social. I was quickly reminded why I lock myself in the house with Babybottoms and her daddy.

I got the uneasy stares from people that you could instantly tell they were trying to figure out if I was fat or pregnant. I felt like I needed to wear a shirt that said "I'm pregnant, not fat" but I got over that quickly. On a level of irritating, it was like an eyelash being stuck in your eye for a good 2 minutes. Men can tell I am pregnant from instantly looking at me; for some reason WOMEN just think I have a fat azz stomach I like to wear over my pants. Haters...LOL

I figured if I stayed seated, I would only have to talk to people who knew me. Wrong. There were 2 overly friendly young ladies who seemed to want to be the life of the party. Fine by me...only problem was they wanted to involve EVERYONE...including people they had just met THAT DAY. Because I had laughed at a few of their rude jokes, I guess that signaled to them it was okay to talk to me like I was their homie. Wrong move.

One tried to tell me that I couldn't talk about anyone's baby since I was pregnant because then my child would come out ugly. Mind you, she says this after she says all loud that someone's baby at the party had a head that looked like it weighed 13 lbs and that was probably because the mom was drinking. FACT #1: this person talking shat about the big head kid (the baby's head was huge) has NO KIDS. Fact #2: this person talking shat doesn't want any kids. And you're going to say this to someone who is 6 months pregnant? I chuckled and responded:

"Sorry, I don't believe in those myths so please don't..." and this is when I was interrupted by one of my friends patting the chick on the arm stating that she wouldn't win this debate so to give it up now. There is no debate to be had. Talking about how ugly someone elses kid is does not magically change the DNA that has ALREADY been mixed together to form Babybottoms. Period. End of discussion.

So loud mouth, overly friendly chick decides to say "Well, you better not drink or your babies are gonna have big heads". *heaving sigh*

First off, I'm not drinking because I don't want my kid to have fetal alcohol syndrome...not because their head is going to be big. IF I got the urge to have a drink, red wine it will be and it will be less than 12 oz. THAT'S MY BUSINESS AND I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE HAS TO SAY ABOUT ME WANTING TO DRINK A GLASS OF RED WINE. Fact #1: your kid has a greater chance of having a big head if the mom AND dad both have big heads. Fact #2: me and the dad have big heads so Babybottoms will more than likely have a large cranium. Do I care about that? No. I just want her to be healthy....and cute LOL.

At this point I knew the crazy myths were gonna start flying across the table at me, especially when one person said "You don't believe these things?" and really looked at me like I had crushed her soul. I just turned to her and said "No and let me tell you why. Do you know how many women said to me "Oh you're gonna have a little boy because you're having heart burn so much...because you haven't gained much weight...because your stomach is sitting this way...because you had morning sickness? You'd be shocked and so were they when I let them finish talking only for me to bust their bubble and say "Yeah, I'm having a girl". She just stared at me and was like, "Oh, ok". "Oh, ok"? WHAT PLANET DO YOU PEOPLE LIVE ON WHERE YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THESE OLD WIVES TALES ASSUMPTIONS??????

None of them are based on anything that even logically makes sense so I don't see how or why people would even repeat them. The entire time I sat at the table I just kept thinking to myself "please shut the hell up". I was mannerable though and didn't say it outloud. Although I did say, "please don't try to force those illogical myths on me and my child; I don't believe them so you might want to talk to someone else about that".

There were a few more things mentioned that I kept my mouth closed on because for some stupid reason, if you are pregnant and have an opinion contrary to someone elses OR correct someone for stating something incorrect, you are looked at as "oh, this pregnant b*tch". Why I gotta be all that because YOU'RE being a moron? And this is why I be in my house chilling...the general public has gotten on my last nerve...pregnant or not!

8 points of view:

Number Five said...

As son as I saw this title I thought 'oh shit, someone mustve started with the myths' LMAO

Coogie Cruz said...

My fave myth is one that my ex told me - was "I am happy she's having a girl because that means I put in more work" Which got a confused blank stare from me and he explained the wives tale that if it's a girl the man put in more work whereas if it's a boy the woman did. I still had a blank stare on my face until I laughed for a good two minutes. Only to find out later that week, he got it all wrong - if it's a boy then man did work (hence XX chromosomes), it's a girl woman did work (hence XY chromosomes). But it might explain why we over populated with more females than males haha.

NaturallyAlise said...

I HATE all superstitions, whether they be pregnancy or otherwise... it is also the biggest spreader of those myths are religious folks... ugh, they make me sick.... and wow only 96 days left!

Lite Bread said...

Ms. Wit,
And nobody rubbed their hands all over your belly?! How could that NOT have happened?
I’m always amazed (and sometimes shocked) at the liberties complete strangers will take with a pregnant woman, asking “Can I touch your baby?” or better (worse?) yet just coming up and touching the woman’s stomach without prior approval.
I know most people mean well, but, there is such a thing as ‘personal space’, lol!
The things people believe, huh?

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

Goodness! I feel for ya, girl. I'm from the "if you don't have any thing but ignorant ish to say, here's a big cup of stfu" camp too. I think folks don't realize that trying to be cute makes you look just the opposite.

~ Melzie ~

Milly said...

lawd these myths are killing me lol

Assertive Wit said...

No. 5 you got it! LOL

Coogie Cruz: I just hate ALL the myths because they aren't based on nothing more than "my momma/auntie/grandma/etc told me...". So that means it's true? f*ck outta here! LOL

NaturallyAlise: Well now it's 95 cause I didn't respond right away LOL that darn ticker is actualy frightening me and every time I go to remove it, I get sidetracked LOL

Lite Bread: A couple did ask to rub the belly. Some chick I aint never seen in my life just came over and was like "girl, I gots to rub it for good luck". I wanted to kick her in the head but my stomach gets in the way of my judo kicks so I had to take an L that time LOL no one has any idea what personal space is to a pregnant woman; I've seriously contemplated biting off peoples hands...nothing like seeing the look on THEIR face when they pull back a stub for a hand, right? LOL

CurvyGurl: I think the general consensus is that people who say stupid stuff deserve to be told to STFU LOL

Diamond~Star said...

Wow, cause I would have probably told talkative lady to shut the hell up. You pretty much told her you didn't believe in the old wives tales and she was still trying to convince you, as like trying to convert you to the religion of old wives tales or something. I am glad you made it out that day!

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