Friday, June 19, 2009

Just A Piddly Blog About My Dad

I guess I like talking to my dad more than my mother because it's very much like talking to one of my guy friends.....and talking to my mom is VERY much like talking to one of my loud mouth girlfriends. Some of the things my mother can ramble on and on about are so retarded and not worth the brain power she chooses to spend on. Conversations with my dad are little more interesting because they can span from a wider range of things.

I read Mr. Smart Guy's blog The Bromantic Call yesterday and it reminded me of my dad more than anything.

My father and I are very much alike when it comes to acquiring and keeping friends...if we really like you, you're more than likely gonna be around until we die. Even if you do something totally uncalled for and just dumb as hell, IF WE REALLY LIKE YOU, we'll be salty about your lack of concern for the moment, get over it and still have a special place in our hearts for you. That's if we have years of friendship behind us. We'll be as understanding as possible and seek to talk things out; if all parties involved can get over any misunderstanding that was had, things will return to normal and all is forgiven. IF you're just being a douche for no reason, we'll throw you the deuces like we just met you yesterday. This also goes for friendships that have no significant amount of time acquired in the foundation.

So when my dad moved from Oakland, CA (for the first time ever in his life) 8 years ago, he wasn't in a big rush to make new friends in Bossier City, LA. He had his best friends back home in California that he kept in touch with. He's actually been back to California at least 10 times since he moved. Of course my mom, being the typical woman who can't go without friends for 2 seconds, had a list of people she felt my dad would enjoy being around. After briefly talking to him, I came to find out he was giving her the side-eye when she wasn't looking because some of the guys she felt my dad should like were simply because she liked their wives. Bad idea.

My dad is a pretty cool guy. If you ever met him, you'd instantly like him. I can only think of one person who doesn't like him and....to tell you the truth, the reasons aren't valid. But just because you like him, doesn't mean he REALLY likes you. He has the ability to get along with anyone and I think a lot of times people mistake that for him liking you. So when I asked him how he liked the people my mom had introduced him to, he said:

"Ehh, you know your mom. She thinks because she's friends with someone's wife, I need to be friends with their husband's. It's a couple guys that are cool but it's not like I'm breaking my neck to go fishing with them or anything. We'll see".

Out of the list of guys my mother felt my dad should interact with, he only made time for one of them and he only hung around him when my mom was with his wife. He was more content with making friends of his own...which he eventually did.

Then they moved to San Antonio, TX....and mom was back at it.

This time when I asked he laughed and said:

"I don't know why she does this. After all these years, you'd think she'd just let me find my own friends but I guess she means well. It isn't the same for men as it is for women though. Yall can become friends because you like the same nail polish...guys aren't like that. I need to have more common ground with someone than that and I have to feel comfortable like, yea, this is a solid dude. You women though. I'm gonna go meet them though, just to appease her".

I guess when you've been with someone since you were 16 and now that you're 52, this is the kind of stuff you put up with. I haven't gotten an update on how his "new friends" are but I'm guessing he hasn't "liked" anyone my mom has tried to "hook him up with" because he still only talks about his old friends.

I guess I say all that to say sometimes new friends aren't really the business. It's those old ones that you've grown used to and know you, that you're most comfortable around and really only want to have time for. Making new friends sometimes just isn't necessary if you're already content with who/what you have.

Hope everyone has a GREAT Friday and weekend!

4 points of view:

ChiChi said...

Making friends as an "adult" kinda sucks. When you were in school, you might get to see some people on a daily basis and you could hang with them when you wanted. Now, people got bills to pay and kids to feed and if you're someone like me who is shy/reserved and doesn't go out much, you have to put more effort into it.

the YOUNG LIONESS said...

its funny that people assume because you are polite and cordial you like them/you regard them as a friend

now that i have graduated a lot of people ask me why i dont call, not realizing i never regarded them as a friend,i was just being kind out of my nature


friend is a label people give out too easily..and when it goes bad people wonder why it got that way..its seems like the outlook your father and yourself have on friendships is really effective

have a great weekend too :)

Craigjc said...

How men and women make friends has long been an interesting phenomenon to me. it seems alot of women's friends are transient, in and out, whereas with men it's more stable.

Mr. Smart Guy said...

You know my stance - although it's a bit discomforting to know that won't change as I age... LOL

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