Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Just Acknowledging When I Make A Mistake :)

There are some things in life that you recognize as being right because it's derived from the general consensus of common sense but sometimes it takes you going through it for you to really grasp it and 100% empathize with someone who has experienced.

I've never been the type of woman to talk super bad on someone I'm dating to ALL my girls because I understand what that can breed. Some women don't get it that because their friend is having a "I hate him" moment, it doesn't mean that you don't care about him at all and you want to hear her refer to him as a SOB, sorry muthalover, donkeyhole, or anything else derogatory you yourself might have called him in the midst of your anger, frustration, etc. (sorry for that run-on sentence LOL)

I used to have a lot of those moments in regards to the father of my child my first few months of being pregnant. I had to get adjusted to a little creature wrecking havoc on my body...I had to adjust to how family, friends, and others were responding to my news...I also had to count to 10 far more times than I wanted because the father was adjusting to everything too. His adjusting wasn't always to my liking so I felt some kind of way about him the first few months.

We're past our initial adjusting stage of accepting "hey, you're having a baby" and as I enter my 7th month, I feel great saying I couldn't have a better father for my child.

BUT...because I was bent all out of shape my first few months, I let some things come out of my mouth about him that I shouldn't have voiced to certain people. I don't want ANYONE referring to him negatively when I KNOW all the things he does for me on a consistent basis. He's been doing them since we found out I was pregnant but a LOT was going on month 1-4 so it was VERY difficult to appreciate his efforts.

I was being SUPER EMO (in regards to him) and I did what a lot of women do. I was talking bad about him to my friends. So now some of those people will ask about him but it'll be along the lines of, "How's that azzhole doing?"..."Where is the jerk?"..."Has he started acting like an adult?"

I GENUINELY feel bad....because I contributed to that.

So I correct them by politely saying "(insert father's name here) is fine; we're doing very well, thank you for asking"..."he's being the best baby daddy ever!"..."he wasn't acting any less of an adult than you when you're having a "moment". Some of my replies have been met with sucking teeth, "whatever", "we'll see how long this last", or just silence and them changing the subject. It was then that I realized, some of my friends need to fix their attitudes because as long as I was in a piss poor mood, they were right there with me with the "yeah girl!" but the minute I got out of my funk, they wanted to act like I had done something wrong by having a good relationship with the father of my child.

I truly love my friends but sometimes they be on that other...and I REFUSE to be sitting in misery with them because their life is a little salty. Everyone goes through their moments so they are allowed theirs but while I'm pregnant, I've felt the need to fall back from a lot of people. I need all the positivity I can get because I'm going through something I've never experienced before with no family in sight. The father of my child is really all the family I REALLY have within a 1,000 mile radius. His family is slightly closer (500 miles) but all we have is each other. So we're doing the best with what we got and so far, it's working well for us.

I more or less wrote this for him...because I REALLY do appreciate EVERYTHING he does EVERY DAY for me and Babybottoms. Regardless of how I felt months 1 thru 4, he really is the best father for my child.

8 points of view:

Unknown said...

I hate absent fathers with a passion, and I am overjoyed to hear that, not only isn't he an absent father, but he is the "best father" for your child. I am praying with every ounce my strength that this baby always has two parents and (preferably) in the same room at the same time!

Naturally Alise said...

You are such a grownup... lol... admitting you are wrong is hard but afterward it it so cathartic...

CraigJC said...

That's what's up. I know a woman that is pregnant now and has already written off the father (and it'll just get worse when the baby's born).
Glad he is supporting you and you him.

Black Yoda said...

Very nice post. I have a female friend who is pregnant and going through something similar. Sometimes she'll say some things...some real fucked up things. But I can't even imagine all the changes she's going through so I take certain things with a grain of salt. I'm sure your man understands that. Of course, I would never say that to her: "Oh that must be your hormones talking." I know that's equivalent to: "It must be your time of the month." I also know a pregnant woman is the deadliest fighter on earth. Mixed martial arts fighters ain't got shit on the beserker rage of a pregnant woman :-)

AssertiveWit said...

phallatio: She'll always have 2 parents who care VERY MUCH about her. I say that without a doubt :)

NaturallyAlise: grown up people do grown up admit when they've been an ass LOL

admitting to my mistakes aren't hard for me when it's OBVIOUS I made one...I do it even if I think the other person won't forgive me.

Craigjc: Even amidst my angry moments, I NEVER wrote him off. Just prayed he'd come around to at least understanding why I saw things the way I did. He understands. We may not agree on EVERYTHING, and that's fine. All I ask is that he keep understanding. He's VERY supportive and I've learned A LOT of women interpret "support" as being mainly a financial thing but "support" comes in so many areas that if he isn't being supportive all the way across the board, financially don't really mean crap. I'm glad to say he is truly supportive in the areas that matter THE MOST.

Black Yoda: Thank you for not telling her "Oh that must be your hormones talking" because to be honest, sometimes it really isn't. Someone sent me a text that said "what is your hormonal ass doing today?"....I ignored it because for one, it was rude as hell. And for two, who talks like that, joking or otherwise to someone who is pregnant? Pregnant women don't want to hear that shat day in and day out. It comes across as insensitive and when SO many people just say it simply to be having conversation it gets irritating. I could see it if I was ACTUALLY doing something that signified I was being hormonal but I wasn't. I was minding my own damn business and I get a text like that. Just rude...

A.Sharie said...

I'm glad things are going well for you, and it certain kind of woman to know and admit AND apologize when she was wrong. Beautifully written and congrats on your baby!!

always4evamoi said...

that was have a man who IS around and truly there for u during that uncontrollable change in ur life and that's a bit rare these days....i congratulate you once again on this new step in your life and your little muffin will have the best parents she can ask for...:D

Christina said...

Awwe..that was sweet...I'm sure (if he reads this), it will touch his heart that you're not afraid to show that you appreciate what he does for you and the baby...

congrats again =)

Post a Comment

Be fair & civil in your commenting. If you can't manage that...well be unfair & rude and I'll respond. Yes, those are your only two options :)


Copyright © Coffee, My Voice and Babybottoms...Essentials To Your Day. Template created by Volverene from Templates Block
WP by WP Themes Master | Price of Silver