Take for instance the other day when I was getting my hair done. I was in the waiting area but I could hear the stylists talking because they were being loud as hell. One stylist started talking about women who were pregnant and the things they should and shouldn't do. She went on to talk about how some girl she knew was stupid for trying to determine if her child had any mental illness or was sick because "you don't know if something is REALLY wrong witcho baby until they at least 2 or 3". Because she wasn't talking to me in the least bit, I didn't jump in that conversation but I did want to punch her in the head. I wanted to ask her if she knew what SUDDEN INFANT DEATH SYNDROME was...and then point out the keyword in the sentence was INFANT....not toddler, and not 3 year old...INFANT.
I get called to come in the area where the stylist who were talking about what pregnant women should and should not do. Unfortunate for me, I get sucked into this conversation once they see that I am pregnant. The conversation takes a different turn and somehow I am mentioning that getting relaxers while I am pregnant is a waste of time and money because for some reason (now that I am pregnant) the chemicals react differently in my hair (read: I will look like a sheep's ass by the head in 3 weeks versus my usual 3-4 months). The woman braiding my hair says, "OH NO! You not supposed to get relaxers while you pregnant anyway!" I just shook my head and calmly told her, "Yes you can; some people just choose not to but it doesn't do anything to the baby, if that is what you were thinking".
I get irritated when I find out she has a son...and is in cosmetology school...is she serious???
As if my hair appointment was not enough to be irritated by, I get to a BBQ on Monday and I mentioned something about the father of my child. I jokingly said something to the effect of calling him a knucklehead and someone (who I am convinced was trying to make conversation) says, "Oh girl, you can't be disliking the daddy. That's when yo kids will come out looking just like his ass". I just stared at her...you know, with the "I would kill you if there was no law against it" look. I wanted to fire back that actually who the kid looks like has to do with whoever has the more dominant genes...not how much I like or dislike the father. But I had a feeling that would go right over her head. I sighed and kept eating my potato salad.
I wobbled into the other room and sat down. When I'm sitting down, you can't tell I'm really all that pregnant but the minute I stand up, there is a rude and obtrusive belly in your face. Well after I had enough back pain for the afternoon I stood up and someone yells out, "GIRL! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE PREGNANT!" Yes, yes I am. Of course this is followed by, "HOW MANY MONTHS ARE YOU!?", to which I simply state, "I'm 5 months"...(insert rude AND irritating remark), "YOU HAVING TWINS?? CAUSE I WASNT EVEN SHOWING AT 5 MONTHS!"
For one, you probably weren't showing at 5 months because you are HELLA smaller than me, as a person. For two, why do I have to be having twins because my stomach sticks out like a beach ball?
I didn't yell, like I wanted to, I simply replied, "I'm having one baby, a girl and you must remember, you are a LOT smaller than me as a person so that could be why your stomach wasn't this size at 5 months".
She went on talking about something else that I just tuned out but I took this as my cue to go. This is a big reason I go to work, come home and stay there until the next day. It isn't because I'm "hormonal"; it's because I'm getting tired of people WHO HAVE BEEN PREGNANT BEFORE saying stupid shat to me and when I reply they look at me like, "why are you talking? shut up and be pregnant". I want to explain to people that there is a difference between being hormonal and you being an idiot and I call you out on it. As my friend Shavaun said, "being hormonal is if you came to my house, ate all my cookies and I started crying; it isn't when you say something stupid to a pregnant woman, she responds and you don't like her answer".
If one more person calls me "hormonal", whether they are joking or not, I'm just going to act like they disappeared off the face of the earth. If you knew to watch your mouth around me before I got pregnant, that doesn't change now that I am pregnant. Word of advice, no pregnant woman wants to hear that hormonal shat ALL THE FREAKING TIME. We already know there are moments when our hormones are taking over; we don't need you to pretend to know when that is.
My vent on being irritated is over...