Friday, May 01, 2009

It's Friday and I'm Headed to Miami!!!!!!!

I don't even know why I came to work today...it's so nice outside and when I got here, the Office Manager looked at me weird and said, "I thought you took off the whole day". I couldn't remember if I had put half day or whole day off so I decided to be "honest" and bring my tail to work anyway. 

Several employees have walked in my office all confused that my door is open and asking, "why are you here"? Yes....why am I here? I think I'm just gonna finish typing this and leave...get this party started quickly, right? (I know that was corny as hell but I couldn't resist LOL)

I signed into the airline while I was chatting with a friend on AIM, whining about how I wish I had a random $50 to frivolously spend to upgrade to Business Class when she says I can use her corporate upgrade...golly, I have great friends! 

Business Class seats are WAY better than regular seats and I get tired of people sitting on my hip in them little azz seats on the plane. I hate how airlines be trying to sneak attack "overweight" people, talking about if you can't properly fit in a seat, you MUST buy another ticket to cover the cost of the seat you are "running over into". First off, you REALLY don't even have to be overweight/obese to not fit in those damn chairs. I'm not and my booty meat/hip is always infringing on someone elses' right to their own seat. I didn't ask the good Lord for alladiss...I get it from my momma and it isn't fair sometimes...like when I need to stuff alladiss in that small airline seat. Sometimes I don't even want to say sorry to the person whose seat my hip is chilling in because of the glare they give me like "dang, her booty all in my seat!" I couldn't get the upgrade on my ticket going to Miami because it was a "free ride" but all is not bad...it's an aisle seat so I can sit as far to the outside as possible so my hip isn't whoriding someone elses seat. Coming back though, that upgrade is getting used and I won't have to worry about booty meat running over into someone elses chair!!!!

I tried to drink a cup of caffeinated coffee today because I woke up far too early and was a little sleepy when I got to work...let's just say the baby punished me for trying to juice him/her up. I'm glad my punishment came before I stepped foot on that plane though. According to one of my friends, there would have been all kinds of blogs popping up about me and my ridiculous antics on the plane. I'm sorry...before I got pregnant, I wasn't too much ashamed of anything but now that I am, there really isn't ANYTHING that you can shame me with. I know a lot of people who won't throw up or poo in anyone's toilet but their own but dammit...being pregnant isn't about what you want....EVER. So when your body starts acting cattywhompiss, you do what it tells you...IMMEDIATELY. Trying to "be cute" about bodily functions while pregnant will get that azz embarrassed anyway so I gave up trying on that one 2 months ago.

But enough about that...my Office Manager tried to be slick and send me an email just now saying she's gonna go to lunch with her boyfriend at 11:30. HA! Go ahead because I'm leaving NOW anyway. Better find someone else to answer that phone while you're out eating lunch because I got things to do...like feed my baby. I know I'm here now but I ALREADY told her 30 minutes ago I was leaving and she gone say, "Well, you said you were gonna stay until 1 pm"...yeah, I said that at 8 am when I walked in the office. At 10 am, I just told yo punk azz I was leaving in 30 minutes...keep up heffa. I told her to STILL take her lunch...just find someone else to cover the phone cause I'm Audi 5000. I'm not even worried about her...she was out of the office for 6 weeks due to having a hysterectomy and I had to do her job, my job, AND the HR Managers job (that they laid off) while having THE worse case ever of "morning sickness". Girl, bye.

Alright let me get outta here for she find some other reason why she might need my help until 1 pm.

Have a good weekend everyone (even though you won't be on the beach...like me! LOL)!!!!!

8 points of view:

NightFall914 said...

"Booty Meat" and "Audi 5000" in one post.That's classic.

jeanette nicole* said...

Have fun in Miami! :) Wish I were there instead of the coldazz Windy (& Rainy) City right now! :-/

a black girl who did date said...

I am jealous!!!!

Stepfanie said...

You did all their jobs while having morning sickness? Oh no not me, I used every excuse in the book when I was pregnant! lol. Have fun in miami!

Gadget Geek said...

I agree, airplane seats are entirely too small and there's no leg room if you are tall i.e. 6'0 [me] (I only fly business or first class now). Frankly I think the middle seat should be eliminated, only a small child or small adult can fit in it comfortably. Have fun in Miami, the beaches are way better down there than they are up here in Atlantic Beach, FL.

phallatio said...

Baby Mother No. 1 used to sneeze and pee herself simultaneously! And you know that a sneeze can attack at any time! Thank your lucky stars that ain't happening to you!

Mista Jaycee said...

Wow! All in the family way! 8-) Any wierd cravings yet?
Well, blessings to the baby.
Jaycee

Diamond~Star said...

I am just reading this. Wow. Hope you had fun in Miami!

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