Thursday, April 02, 2009

Tired & Preggo

I sat in my truck yesterday looking at this lady struggle to get out of her car. She moved like she was carrying the weight of the world on her back. When she finally got out of her car, I saw that she was about 5 ft tall, maybe 130 lbs...not big at all. She looked tired as ever though. Her hair was a little disheveled and I noticed she kept tugging on her jacket for it to stay closed even though there was a zipper she could have easily zipped up. She turned sideways and that is when I noticed...she was pregnant. I smiled because I knew what she was going through without even talking to her.

So the father of my child gets in the truck and I point to her and tell him, "Look, she's pregnant". His response? "Why do all pregnant women be looking like bums?"....normally, I would have just rolled my eyes and changed the subject but damn these hormones! I turned to him and said, "Really? We look like bums? You try carrying another human being in your stomach for 9 months muthaf*cka and then ask that same question. We be tired. Some of us toss and turn all night and by the time we get to sleep our clocks go off to go work for 8-9 hours. Excuse me if getting jazzy is the last thing on our minds. I am sure if we didn't have to work most of our day, we would put more effort into our appearance but sue us, we be tired. Azzhole".

His Simple Simon reply? "Well, I'm a man so I aint getting pregnant; that's no excuse not to comb your hair".

The father of my child is utterly impossible at times.

I wish there was some virtual simulation that all fathers HAD to be a part of so they could know SOME of what we go through. I do not feel sorry for men who experience the "pregnancy symptoms" the wife experiences or should experience...tough titty, pansies. I think they would be a little more sensitive to the things they let fly out of their mouths if they knew how it felt to have to pee EVERY 20-30 minutes, have their breast tissue expand at painful rates while their nipples feel like they are being torn off with a saw, throw up at the smell of foods they used to love....and worst of all not be able to alleviate the stress of it all with a beer, shot of Henn, or a blunt. Suffering in silence is what we preggo women do best and that isn't even HALF of what I've experienced and it's only month 4.

Although, there are times when the father of my child's asinine brain makes him say funny things like "boobies" when I'm changing my clothes. Big dummy. 

I was walking to his car to give him a stamp and I had this dress on I had just bought from Old Navy. Silly me bought it in my regular size instead of a couple sizes bigger so my growing lady lumps were spilling out of it. I felt a little bad for Babybottoms because his/her mommy's tits were on MAJOR display but I got over it quickly when I got to the car and the father says, "Hey, your tits are getting bigger". Thanks baby daddy, for noticing.

Pregnancy is truly an eye opening experience and I think I might write a book just for the kid so he/she can know just how badly he/she invaded my body and took over. Kidding...but not really. LOL

10 points of view:

Miss.Stefanie said...

You should write a book-you have great insights mamas!

NeenaLove said...

hilarious...

Meh said...

YOU HAVE A KID?!
But then how will you by my bust down?! LOL. But really though I never knew you had a rugrat unless this is fiction.

Assertive Wit said...

I don't have a kid that is out the womb yet...silly LOL I'M PREGNANT.

as for your bust down comment...it is times like this I remember you are ignant as hell LOL

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

its the opposite with me the mother of my child is impossible and not utterly

Craigjc said...

Dag, I feel 4 you. Well, kinda.

Meh said...

Well the babies father better not be a drifter or homeless, I know you so anything could be possible. LOL I am not saying congrats though cause now you are someones mamma so its harder for me to refer to you as a bust down and I don't like you taking that from me.

Kryssy said...

Congrats!!! Men just have a missing sensitivity gene... I just expect those types of shenanigans from them... Lol

quarter-life-crisis said...

You should really consider writing the book for your child (and everyone else). I think your view will be fresh and new and will come from a point of view for women like "us" to read and relate to.

Think about it....... LOL!!!

NightFall914 said...

The "simple" men replies had me over here DYING!!!!!

LMAO @ "that's no excuse not to comb your hair"

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