Thursday, April 09, 2009

Talking to Strangers

One of my friends had her status on facebook asking if a child doesn't respond when someone says hello to them, are they being rude. It was interesting to see some of the things people said. My parents taught me to NEVER talk to strangers but sometimes people think your kids are cute and will just randomly speak to them. Friendly people are sometimes just that...friendly. We still viewed them as strangers but could sense they weren't trying to harm us so we'd ask if it was okay to speak back to them. Usually our parents would nod and we'd respond.

You never really think about how that one simple rule (don't talk to strangers) affects you as you grow up. I think it's played a large part in who I have chosen to date. Most of the guys I've dated, I've been friends with first....simply because talking to a stranger always felt "weird". The few times I went out on a limb and talked to a "stranger", I felt I needed to protect myself because I didn't really know this person all that well. Call me paranoid but you will NEVA see me ending up like baby in Aruba...dead...why? Because she was talking (and drinking) with strangers.

Some people are naturally friendly with anyone they meet...I am up to a point.

So when one of my friends told me that she was going out of town with someone she had met 2 days prior to talking to me on the phone I was confused. Now...I have plenty of friends who will take advantage of some spur of the moment "trick session" and spend the next dudes money. BUT....they always take the necessary precautions. First off, NEVER are they leaving their city/state without knowing full name, all contact numbers, home address, and license plate. Trust me, one of my friends turn up missing, at least one of us know who she was with last.

Case and point...I had a friend who went out of the country and before she left she managed to get a copy of his passport, tell me where he worked, what his position was, his work number, cell number, and some other information that wasn't valuable at the moment but if she didn't make it back from her fun in the sun, I knew where to direct the police.

So when one of my friends sent me a text message today saying she was going running with a neighbor and she was sending me his info later, I laughed. I hadn't gotten a phone call or text message like this in a while and it made me happy that some of my friends were still being cautious with their lives. People are crazy these days...

Sometimes I wonder if the very people who wind up mysteriously dead are some people who talk to strangers or are overly friendly with them. I've never had a one night stand for this very reason. If I know nothing about you, that's a bad situation waiting to happen. I don't let men come over my house, whether I view them as a friend or more, right away, because I need to feel out THEIR intentions first. Some people don't really care and will let anyone know "hey, I live RIGHT HERE ALL BY MYSELF".

I'm just funny about strangers and I think I'm going to blame it on my parents telling me not to talk to strangers when I was little. LOL

P.S. - I google men I date...call me crazy but that is how a friend of mine found out she was about to be dating a rapist...

4 points of view:

DLG said...

The next to the last paragraph reminded me of "Taken". Those girls were in a foreign country and let a stranger ride in a cab with them to the place they were staying just because he was cute. One of them made it clear they would be alone the whole trip. He sold them into the sex trade. That's a very real and scary situation.

msdailey said...

I so stick by the never talk to strangers! Really til this day, I'm not overly friendly, but I'm cordial. If you say good morning, I will respond, but I'm short, sorry its who I am.

My son when he was younger, would always wait for my cue on whether or not to speak when a stranger greeted him or myself. He would wait for me to say or give him the look that it was ok.

I think its always better to be overly cautious and safe, better than sorry!

My friends and I also do the #, license plates, etc of new dudes!

Solomon said...

I'm not big on talking to strangers. I never thought of it that part of it might have been because of the 'never talk to strangers' rule as children.

Assertive Wit said...

DLG: every time I read your comment I laugh...not because of folks getting killed due to their own recklessness but because you sound so serious like, "yea, don't talk to strangers" LOL

msdailey: good to hear me and my friends aren't the only ones who do this LOL

Solomon: I don't know if that's why a lot of people don't really like talking to strangers but I think subconciously, it is for me. As an adult, I've adjusted it, simply based on where I live. Everyone in Georgia speaks to each other, stranger or not, so it's a little different here. In Oakland, California, ummmm, we don't talk to anyone we pass on the street, even if they're smiling LOL

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