Friday, April 10, 2009

Raining On My Parade

I was reading Death of a Genius blog this morning called When the Rain Falls.

I suggest you go read it but in a nutshell he was basically saying if he's having a bad day, don't come telling him someone else has it worse off because that goes without saying but if he's having a bad day, do you REALLY think he cares about someone elses misfortune? No.

Sounds cruel and insensitive but if you really think about it...YOU'RE kind of cruel to tell someone going through a rough patch that it could be worse. You might as well tell them to shut the f*ck up and get over it.

Many people grow to have that outlook that their problems really aren't that significant because someone else has it worse but that's ALWAYS gonna be the case. I could be walking down the street and get hit with a bullet meant for someone else. I could be losing blood in dangerous amounts but guess what, I'm not dead so yes, it could be worse. BUT...that doesn't take away from the fact that I've been shot, I'm in pain, AND....I'm bleeding to death.

Since I've been pregnant, I've heard this stupid "word of advice" so many times it LITERALLY makes me want to go cattywhompiss on people. My health isn't "bad" per se; I'm just pregnant and experiencing EVERY symptom known to any woman who has ever been pregnant. According to other pregnant women and mothers, as well as my team of doctors, it's normal. MY body has to adjust to something "foreign" being there and the first two trimesters aren't pie...usually. Some women get lucky and experience NONE of what I have. But if I am usually the picture of great health, do you REALLY think I want to hear YOU (especially if you've NEVER been pregnant a day in your life) tell me that "it could be worse"? NO. I DON'T.

It isn't helping, although you might think it is, and it doesn't present me with a ray of hope. Yes, I could be dead and truth be told, there are days when I want to die so in my warped sense of hormonal thinking, the dead are better off than me at the moment.

The father of my child has this outlook on other people's lives and will be the first to tell you that "it isn't that big a deal" but let him go through something that throws a monkey wrench in his plans and he feels entitled to his 5 seconds of a pity party. What I want to know is, how come YOU can have a 5 second pity party but I can't?

The reason we have emotions is so that we can experience a balanced outlook on life and how you feel about things. Being happy all the damn time is just as weird as being miserable allthe damn time. Most of the people I know who walk around smiling all the damn time and NEVER showing that things bother them, well they usually have some DEEP, DARK shat going on that when finally unleashed, makes you feel like you wish you'd NEVER known what they were going through. Some are better at hiding it than others but what some people have to understand is that you are entitled to feel happy, sad, mad, and glad WHENEVER YOU WANT. The key is...don't stay in the negative zone longer than necessary.

If I JUST stubbed my toe and I want shout curses, dammit, let me shout. If I'm still ranting about my toe 2 days later and there is no chance of gangrene, THEN, tell me to shut the f*ck up.

If someone lost their job and finding a new one is taking longer than 3 months, it's normal for them to be a little down about it. Since it's a recession, it might take longer than usual, especially if you work in an industry that is DIRECTLY affected by the economy nose dive. If you are the type of person to bring up your no job situation EVERY TIME you talk to someone, turning the entire room into a black hole but you really aren't doing anything to find a new job, then, shut the f*ck up.

If life is whooping someone's azz and you are their friend and want to know why they haven't communicated with you in weeks and you proceed to tell them what's been going on, DON'T...I repeat...DON'T LET THE FIRST WORDS OUT YOUR MOUTH BE "You need to pray" or "It could be worse" or "You gotta stay positive". Life is whooping their azz...this is the last thing they want to hear and for you to assume they haven't prayed and that they want life to continue this way makes you an azzhole. Find a better way to console people and maybe they won't NOT talk to you for weeks. Some people need to stop and think that it isn't anything personal; they're actually doing you a favor by NOT SHARING their gloom with you. They want to deal with it in their own time and all you need to do is LET THEM.

If he (Genius) hadn't disabled comments I could have just left a little "ditto" and that would have been that. But since I couldn't, this was my Layman's terms, I agree with everything he said. LOL

4 points of view:

Christina said...


Sometimes people (including me) just want you to listen, NOT give ure UNprofessional advice.


oNe mAn gAng said...

well damn! Good response Syn :)

Solomon said...

I agree too.

A Genius said...

Oh yea, I agree too...

Good look.

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