Thursday, April 23, 2009

I'm Embarrassed That I Wanted Chicken THIS Bad Yesterday


Yesterday, all I wanted was a juicy breast from Popeye's with a side of jalapeno peppers and some hot sauce. I waited all day at work to go get my piece of chicken for dinner.  I could taste that spicy chicken in my mouth as I drove up Ponce on my mission, only to get to the corner of Ponce and Blvd and see the Texaco gas station next to Popeye's packed. It seemed odd because there was no drop in gas prices recently so what in the Sam Hill were all these people doing in the parking lot?

I quickly focused back on driving into the Popeye's drive thru line because my chicken was all I was concerned about. I stepped on the brakes quickly because someone had let their grandma outside in her motorized wheelchair and for some reason, I guess she felt she didn't need to abide by any traffic laws. After she passed, I drove up to the drive thru only to see this utterly ridiculous line. I tried to remember if it was Tuesday because I could remember someone saying on Tuesday's there are chicken specials...then I remembered that was Church's. I drive up and see 2 specials posted on the windows...9 pieces of chicken for $7.99 and a 2 piece for $1.99...is this what all the rigmarole is for? Some chicken specials? I almost got out the line but it was moving pretty quick so I decided to stay in line and who but grandma comes smashing up the side of the drive thru!

Grandma, seriously...cool your jets on that wheelchair. Apparently she was determined to get her some chicken too and was willing to bust her little azz tires on the curb, trying to get it. Then she gets up to the door but had pulled too close so was getting frustrated because she couldn't open it. Was it wrong that I laughed? Because I did. Grandma, it is never that serious for some chicken. I was about to shake my head and silently mutter to myself "black people" when a group of Asians jump out their Honda full of smiles...does chicken REALLY make people this happy? They were discussing which meals they were going to get once they got inside and the entire time I'm sitting here looking at Grandma still trying to get in the door. Thankfully, one of them helped her out.

So I drive up, order my breast and the lady says, "you know there is a wait, right"...I assumed so because the line inside was wrapped around all the tables and the drive thru was packed. I smile and reply, "Ok, how long"...this is where I got angry. "30 minutes ma'am"....FOR SOME DAMN CHICKEN???? I would have said to hell with that and drove home livid but I was stuck in line. This particular Popeye's is not set up for you to be able to drive out the line. Once you get up the speaker box, you're stuck until you can drive your merry way out of the line after getting your food. So I figured since I was gonna be stuck in line, I might as well place the order. I felt silly waiting for one piece of chicken so I got the 2 piece with a biscuit, mashed taters, and a Root Beer...my side of jalapenos and hot sauce. About 15 minutes pass and I get to the window...I pay, she hands me my drink and says pull over to the side. I ask her how she's going to know who to bring the food too. She says she's gonna write down the make, model, and color of my car and someone will bring it out to me.

45 minutes pass and I aint got no chicken...had it been any other year, I might have just wrote it off to every Black person in Atlanta being at that particular Popeye's, took my L and went inside. But this year...I'm pregnant, hungry, and I just got off work...it's hot outside and I want my damn chicken. I walk up to the window and she talking bout, "We was looking for you".

HOW WERE YOU LOOKING FOR ME AND NO POPEYE'S EMPLOYEE WALKED OVER TO MY SIDE OF THE PARKING LOT ONCE? You got me effed up...where is my chicken?

She hands me a box and it feels kind of light. Something tells me to go inside and check my box. Sure enough, she has given me the wrong piece of chicken. I asked for a breast...she has given me some rinky dink thigh and wing. Oh. Hell. No.

I walk up to the front and the Assistant Manager is there handing people their food and I say excuse me 3 times to get her attention. She looks at me and ignores me. Really? She must not have read my t-shirt when I walked up because it clearly says on it: "YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY" and she's pissing me off. So I yell...yes, I yell, EXCUSE ME, and this gets her attention and everyone elses in the establishment. I open my box and point to the shriveled up thigh and quietly say, "I asked for a breast", to which she replies, "You prolly didn't get one because we didn't have one to give you"....I counted to 10 before yelling again and said in the calmest voice, "I've been waiting for 45 minutes. I ordered this in the drive thru. I asked for a breast. I want a breast now". She looked up at me and then looked away to some guy on chicken patrol and asks if there are any Spicy breasts. He looks at me like I'm unwelcome and says, "Yes is she gonna give us that thigh back though". I wanted to jump over the counter and beat him in the face with the thigh...GIMME MY MEAT YOU CLOWN.

She rolled her eyes at him, told him to drop the breast in my box, and apologized to me.

I walk outside and some guy tries to make a joke about my Incredible Hulk t-shirt and says, "they bet not mess with you, huh"...I said, "damn straight, I'm pregnant, hungry, and been waiting 45 minutes for this stupid piece of chicken; they would want to stop f*ckin with me" and walked back to my truck.

All of this for some chicken...and they still didn't give me no hot sauce...SMCH.

12 points of view:

msdailey said...

People do not know, pregnant & hungry....not good for those in the vicinity!!!

I seen so many people walking around with Popeye's shopping bags with 2 boxes of chicken yesterday, it was hilarious.

I too wanted a 2 piece yesterday, but just my luck, not one in the area where I work, so I guess I was lucky, im sure the lines were like that every where!!

I thought you were gonna say grandma went through the drive through in the wheelchair, that would have be on the floor funny!! lol

DLG said...

LOL! I don't know what was up with the specials listed in the window at the Popeyes you went to, but folks were trying to get the 8 piece for $4.99 one day only special lol. You didn't see the advertisements for that?

Lil Honey B said...

Oh that was crazy, 45 mins. for chicken? You don't mess with a pregnant woman and her food!!!

JaeSpenc said...

I SUH-WEAR!!! This is hilarrrrrrrious... your blogs are so well written that I can IMAGINE the situation goingo n... Bwahahahahahaha

I would have been ready to THROW DOWN for some chicken had I been waiting that long and THEN they jacked my order and THEN they tried to cop an attitude. lmao

Ms. Independent said...

Man I was wondering what was up with the chicken yesterday. I had no clue. The whole dorm building smelled like chicken all day. I saw people coming back with boxes stacked on boxes stacked on boxes of Popeyes yesterday. I almost thought they were giving it away the way folks was toting chicken back on campus.

A Genius said...

It was going down! I went back twice and I dead ass ate 16 pieces of chicken and 11 biscuits yesterday...I died earlier today but I'm back now on my Jesus shit.

Gadget Geek said...

I literally LOL when I read this post. Tough I've never been pregnant, I do understand what it's like to crave something (food) and people wind up effing it up in the process. On a side note, your blogs are always so well written, kudos to you.

Craigjc said...

I heard there was a special. LOL what was the ocassion? I'll be ready next time.

Assertive Wit said...

msdailey: I'm sorry you couldn't get any cheap chicken LOL to be honest, the pieces they gave me were quite shatty

DLG: I didn't see that advertisement but some of my friends called me and told me about it LOL

Lil Honey B: It was initially 30, 15 of which I spent in the drive thru...it turned into 45 cause they was bullshattin...LOL

JaeSpenc: I wanted to punch that lady in the throat...trying to play me for my chicken breast...

Ms. Independent: people were really acting like they were getting chicken for free...I was slightly embarrassed...slightly LOL

Genuius: you greedy thang! your arteries are not thanking you at all LOL

Gadget Geek: thank you :)

Craig: the manager told me it was Earth Day but she'll be damned if she participate again next year cause it was so much chaos LOL

Jay_fever said...

Damn son...45 minutes??? I think I would've just hit the market bought the chicken and shot it up with roids my damn self. That's crazy.

V$ said...

"GIMME MY MEAT YOU CLOWN"

*i just died* lol

Emeritus said...

"Was it wrong that I laughed? Because I did."

Lmao.

Honestly, I don't even mess with pregnant people. Everyone knows that. Right.... right?

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