Yesterday, all I wanted was a juicy breast from Popeye's with a side of jalapeno peppers and some hot sauce. I waited all day at work to go get my piece of chicken for dinner. I could taste that spicy chicken in my mouth as I drove up Ponce on my mission, only to get to the corner of Ponce and Blvd and see the Texaco gas station next to Popeye's packed. It seemed odd because there was no drop in gas prices recently so what in the Sam Hill were all these people doing in the parking lot?
I quickly focused back on driving into the Popeye's drive thru line because my chicken was all I was concerned about. I stepped on the brakes quickly because someone had let their grandma outside in her motorized wheelchair and for some reason, I guess she felt she didn't need to abide by any traffic laws. After she passed, I drove up to the drive thru only to see this utterly ridiculous line. I tried to remember if it was Tuesday because I could remember someone saying on Tuesday's there are chicken specials...then I remembered that was Church's. I drive up and see 2 specials posted on the windows...9 pieces of chicken for $7.99 and a 2 piece for $1.99...is this what all the rigmarole is for? Some chicken specials? I almost got out the line but it was moving pretty quick so I decided to stay in line and who but grandma comes smashing up the side of the drive thru!
Grandma, seriously...cool your jets on that wheelchair. Apparently she was determined to get her some chicken too and was willing to bust her little azz tires on the curb, trying to get it. Then she gets up to the door but had pulled too close so was getting frustrated because she couldn't open it. Was it wrong that I laughed? Because I did. Grandma, it is never that serious for some chicken. I was about to shake my head and silently mutter to myself "black people" when a group of Asians jump out their Honda full of smiles...does chicken REALLY make people this happy? They were discussing which meals they were going to get once they got inside and the entire time I'm sitting here looking at Grandma still trying to get in the door. Thankfully, one of them helped her out.
So I drive up, order my breast and the lady says, "you know there is a wait, right"...I assumed so because the line inside was wrapped around all the tables and the drive thru was packed. I smile and reply, "Ok, how long"...this is where I got angry. "30 minutes ma'am"....FOR SOME DAMN CHICKEN???? I would have said to hell with that and drove home livid but I was stuck in line. This particular Popeye's is not set up for you to be able to drive out the line. Once you get up the speaker box, you're stuck until you can drive your merry way out of the line after getting your food. So I figured since I was gonna be stuck in line, I might as well place the order. I felt silly waiting for one piece of chicken so I got the 2 piece with a biscuit, mashed taters, and a Root Beer...my side of jalapenos and hot sauce. About 15 minutes pass and I get to the window...I pay, she hands me my drink and says pull over to the side. I ask her how she's going to know who to bring the food too. She says she's gonna write down the make, model, and color of my car and someone will bring it out to me.
45 minutes pass and I aint got no chicken...had it been any other year, I might have just wrote it off to every Black person in Atlanta being at that particular Popeye's, took my L and went inside. But this year...I'm pregnant, hungry, and I just got off work...it's hot outside and I want my damn chicken. I walk up to the window and she talking bout, "We was looking for you".
HOW WERE YOU LOOKING FOR ME AND NO POPEYE'S EMPLOYEE WALKED OVER TO MY SIDE OF THE PARKING LOT ONCE? You got me effed up...where is my chicken?
She hands me a box and it feels kind of light. Something tells me to go inside and check my box. Sure enough, she has given me the wrong piece of chicken. I asked for a breast...she has given me some rinky dink thigh and wing. Oh. Hell. No.
I walk up to the front and the Assistant Manager is there handing people their food and I say excuse me 3 times to get her attention. She looks at me and ignores me. Really? She must not have read my t-shirt when I walked up because it clearly says on it: "YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY" and she's pissing me off. So I yell...yes, I yell, EXCUSE ME, and this gets her attention and everyone elses in the establishment. I open my box and point to the shriveled up thigh and quietly say, "I asked for a breast", to which she replies, "You prolly didn't get one because we didn't have one to give you"....I counted to 10 before yelling again and said in the calmest voice, "I've been waiting for 45 minutes. I ordered this in the drive thru. I asked for a breast. I want a breast now". She looked up at me and then looked away to some guy on chicken patrol and asks if there are any Spicy breasts. He looks at me like I'm unwelcome and says, "Yes is she gonna give us that thigh back though". I wanted to jump over the counter and beat him in the face with the thigh...GIMME MY MEAT YOU CLOWN.
She rolled her eyes at him, told him to drop the breast in my box, and apologized to me.
I walk outside and some guy tries to make a joke about my Incredible Hulk t-shirt and says, "they bet not mess with you, huh"...I said, "damn straight, I'm pregnant, hungry, and been waiting 45 minutes for this stupid piece of chicken; they would want to stop f*ckin with me" and walked back to my truck.
All of this for some chicken...and they still didn't give me no hot sauce...SMCH.