Monday, April 20, 2009

I Think I Killed A Bird...Cricket?

This past weekend did not happen like I wanted it to. I had EVERY intention of unpacking everything on Saturday...instead, the headache from pregnancy hell took over my brain for 3 days and I wasn't able to really get rid of it until Sunday evening. So my plans to go get that BB gun? Foiled. I'll get on why I think I killed a bird in a minute though...

I want to understand this baby in my stomach...I really do. I think, and maybe this is just me but, I think this baby lives to scare the hell out of me. When I'm in the bed trying to sleep, I know it's alive and well because it does it's best job to get comfortable on my bladder as frequently as possible. Imagine feeling like you need to pee...for 4 months straight...and when you go to the bathroom, nothing comes out but air...but that's about the only time I know it's alive in there. Usually it's acting like it's holding its breath...until I get in a tub of hot water. Then you can see his/her little body breathing all heavy in my stomach. It's the weirdest thing ANYONE could ever experience in life and sometimes I sit in the tub wondering when the Alien abduction is gonna come busting through. I was told babies like the warm water but it still creeps me out...sorta kinda.

I had a conversation with the kid the other day about letting me get some rest. One of my friends suggested I hold a knife or fork to my belly and threaten to stab/poke my belly every time he/she wants to make me throw up. I figured that would cause me more pain than the baby so I laughed...but stored it away for last result threatening. As my head is pounding, I pop 2 extra strength Tylenol and figure I will grab something to eat after my head stops feeling like a donkey kicked me in it. WRONG. Apparently the baby was not happy with me ingesting pills and water...this brat wanted food AND NOW. So I go in the bathroom thinking I'm about to brush my teeth...nope. Another session with the toilet ensues. The minute I ate, my headache calms down...not all the way but enough to see out of both eyes now.

I'm driving out of my complex to get food and this pale brown figure darts out in front of my truck and I hear the right side of my car kind of catch whatever it was...I think it was a bird. I IMMEDIATELY felt all sad and kind of panicked...then I thought about those damn birds making all that noise between 4:30 and 6:30 am and a smile crept across my face. Was that wrong? Was it wrong that I got filled with glee that I might have taken a bird out and it would be one less bird chirping and keeping me awake in the wee hours of the morning? So what. I hope he is somewhere maimed and laid up, not able to get a chirp out to save his life. Evil? Maybe but I like my sleep...

That was yesterday...today I'm driving to work and I hit another bird. I don't know if these birds are blind and don't see my humongous truck or they are purposely flying into my shat but this time....I felt bad. This bird wasn't in my complex but it was swerve and hit a car or...hit the bird. God will forgive me...it wasn't intentional. I hope it isn't dead somewhere on Marietta Street...

8 points of view:

NightFall914 said...

Wow....I think the holding a knife or fork to ya stomach is worse then hitting the birds. lol. I hit a bird with my Expedition once. Saw the feather flying and everything.

Assertive Wit said...

I don't feel so bad....knowing you hit a bird too.

I had this aunt who drove HORRIBLY and she PURPOSELY ran some pigeons over...she had them feathers stuck to her bumper for months...it was so gross LOL She said they had no business with their azz in the street anyway LOL

Tommy said...

Wow smh all i know is you better watch out you saw what happened to the last person who was wreckin animals..........*ahem* Mike Vick

the girl with clean hands said...

As a fellow pregnant person,

You might want to try changing the time you eat, the less you eat, the more headaches. Raspberry tea does help nausea! If you are having sleeping issues in terms of movement, you have to move, it puts the baby off balance, also you might want try sleeping with a baby pillow. Also try to keep to feet elevated. I wear a size ten. but no swelling so far, so it definitely works. I know how you feel about unsolicited advice, so you can take it or leave it but it is worth a try!

Craigjc said...

Dag, I am SOOOOO glad, I don't hafta go through that. I will forever respect childbirthers.

Anonymous said...

wudddup dis t-rich i just follow u can u follow me n comment mi stuff n i do da same thanks

JaeSpenc said...

BWHAhahahaha... The knife and fork thing had me DYING! Hilarious. I remember I used to be able to see my daughters little footprint in my tummy... lol so cute...

As for the damn bird hitting... hahahahah Awwwwww. don't feel bad. I'm sure it happens all the time. I always wonder how they seem to fly away JUST before the car gets to them... one flew INTO my car a few weeks ago... and I was sad for a bit, until I thought about the dent or blood that might be on my car... lol

There was none when I got out... and I went back to feeling bad. lmaooooooo

Assertive Wit said...

the girl with clean hands: I don't think I was eating enough and the crumbsnatcher was staging a revolt on my nerves until I fed it more. Seriously though, this kid wants to eat ALL DAMN DAY...it's a shame. Raspberry tea didn't help me AT ALL...I was disappointed about that cause I like raspberry tea LOL I'm going to look for a baby pillow this weekend...maybe one of my friends will be kind enough to buy me one (hint, hint to any friend reading). I don't have any swelling right now so I'm grateful for that. I try to stay off my feet as much as possible, so far it's working. I was sorta complaining in this blog so your advice was cool LOL

Craig: yes be glad you have a peen LOL

Anonymous: I have no idea who this is and this comment is ridiculous...please don't ever write a comment like this again...looks like someone from junior high has taken over the keyboard.

JaeSpenc: Another bird flew into my headlights this morning...I don't know what their damn problem is LOL

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