Thursday, March 19, 2009

Just Because Granny Said It, Don't Mean It's True

I was talking to a friend the other day about things we were taught as children. Nothing irritates me more than a grown person believing something SIMPLY because they were taught it by someone they love. I've heard people say numerous times that since their gran-whoever told them, it MUST be true. No, it isn't. I hate to tell you and make you aware but just because your gran OR yo momma said it, don't make it the truth OR right.

My grandmother told me that if I put baby pee on my face everyday, I'd have the best skin ever. Ummmm, you would NEVER catch me putting ANYONE'S urine ANYWHERE on my or not. This woman also told me not to date any men from "the islands" because they are abusive and like to beat the shit out of their women. Granny...shut the hell up generalizing. There are American men who like to beat the shit out of their women too. She just wasn't very fond of Jamaicans and she felt like that was the best advice she could give me to keep me from seeing this Jamaican dude who was crazy as hell. Was he crazy because he was Jamaican? No, he was just crazy because he was an idiot who rarely used good sense about anything. And notice, she said "the islands"....Granny, there are TONS of islands in the world so you saying men in Hawaii are known for beating their women? There are islands in Fiji...women beaters there too? Fact is, there are men ALL OVER THE WORLD who beat women...not just Jamaicans or them other "black island folk" she was referencing. I crack jokes with my friends about it all the time if they tell me they are dating someone who is Jamaican or Caribbean...but I would never rule someone out because of this myth my grandmother tried to inculcate in me.

I used that silly example because there are things that our parents and grandparents tell us as children that we unknowingly hold onto as we grow up, not realizing how much it affects how we treat other people. For instance, how many people grew up with grandparents who experienced some form of slavery? Usually you will see some kind of prejudice on their behalf regarding White people...and 9 times out of 10, it was passed down to your parents who then, passed it on to you. It might be subtle but any time your parent has no problem calling a White person a "cracka azz cracka", well...what do you think is going on? Nothing but transference. Granted, your father/mother might have grown up in an era where they did experience some type of prejudice because of their skin color and this also contributes to the slurs they fling in the privacy of their home. I was born in 1979 and I STILL wasn't exempt from some White people acting like I was born in 1949. But do I have to adopt the view that all White people are the devil because my grandparents told me so? I'd be an idiot to do so...much like a lot of people I listen to ramble on about "White people this and that".

Yes, culturally, people of different ethnic backgrounds are known for behaving a certain way which lends credit to tons of stereotypes so you'll hear off the wall things like "All White people like hella mayonnaise". In my mind, and I think fairly so, if you can fix your lips to say some ignorant shat like that, you should NEVER get mad when someone says, "All Black people like fried chicken and watermelon...and kool aid". Both of those statements are stereotypes. Yes, there are White people who like hella mayonnaise but there are some who don't even like mayonnaise AT ALL. Just like ALL Black folks don't drink kool aid. I should know. I'm Black and I hate kool aid...its water with food coloring and sugar. I'll pass. Fried chicken is not for ALL Black people's palate and watermelon...well, some Black folks think it just tastes like a bunch of water and has too many damn seeds.

So the next time your old ass granny, grandfather, mother, or father tells you some retarded shat, stop and think about how stupid you sound repeating it. Just because our loved ones say something, it doesn't mean it needs to be embraced as an eternal truth.

13 points of view:

a black girl who did date said...

My contribution:
Old men give you worms.

AssertiveWit said...

I hate you LOL

jeanette nicole* said...

SAY IT! So many people are deeply entrenched in these stereotypes, old wives tales, etc. that they limit themselves to so many things in life. I ain't goin. . .LOL

Anonymous said...

good post today

ChiChi said...

I know for a fact my mom is prejudice as hell and I called her on it one day and she was like, "And?" LMAO A HAM...She could have rubbed off on me, but I think it's more of a I'm always around black people unless I'm at work, like gravitating to like type thing.

You know what cracks me up, though? Us getting mad when and "other" stereotypes us and alot of us do it so much, we don't even notice.

Ms. Independent said...

Lol Granny told me so much non-sense it's crazy.

She told me about the pee too- well actually my ganny said when u get a pimple put your own pee on it to make it go away.

Speaking of watermelon my granny was the one who told me (and I actually believed this for the longest lol) that the black seeds would make you grow a watermelon in your stomach but the whitish ones were healthy for you.

She's also hella prejudice and can't stand to see interracial dating. Sometimes I want to find a white boy just to bring home to Granny and see what she'll do lol.

Meh said...

I remember going to a graduation party in high school and the graduate was headed to the Army. He was a cool guy and all but his grand mother was something else. She went on about how anyone making over a 3.5 gpa had no life and are socially inept. While my girl and I both had over that when graduating. It was a bit disturbing because I wondered if he was headed to the army instead of college because he was from a family that didn't push smarts.

JOFre$h said...

*Starts raining*

"Boy cut that damn tv off before you electrocute us all in this house"

* runs to turn tv off cause I don't want to hurt my family

AssertiveWit said...

ChiChi: getcho momma LOL

Ms Independent: my retarded grandfather told us that watermelon thing...I used to eat the black seeds anyway and just laugh in his face. I told him one time "Grandpa that's stupid. Only babies grow in your stomach". That shut him up. LOL I think if you brought someone "un black" to your Grandmothers crib, you'd give her a heart attack...stop playing LOL

Meh: that was some ignorant shat if I never heard worst!

JOFre$h: yup...granny told me that one too and I was a teenager so my comebacks were better than when I was kid when she was trying to force me to turn the radio off while it was storming. I told her that's a myth I wouldn't entertain; she told me as long as I was in her house I would entertain it. She was right. I turned off the radio. LOL

Kofi Bofah said...

What would your granny do if you told her to "shut the hell up" in person?

If she is old school - she would knock you into next week even if she were about 80 and you are officially a grown up.

AssertiveWit said...

Kofi: what would my granny do? first off, I wouldn't talk directly to my grandmother like that LOL I would tell her to stop trying to push her old wives solutions off on me and leave me alone...done it before. She still old school but I'm also an adult...and she has never had a problem acknowledging that :)

Diamond~Star said...

I got a friend who just RECENTLY said, "Mother (her grandma) will have to forgive me cause I need to cut out something for this project," and I am like why are you saying that? She replies, "Mother says we are not supposed to iron or use scissors to cut out anything on Sundays." Wha??? SAYS WHO???? I have yet to find out the real deal with that one.

I'll probably have a front row ticket to Hades cause I am going to iron my clothes when needed, even if it means doing it on Sunday,

A said...

LOL. When I was little, my mom used to tell me that if I cried, my face would stay that way. I actually believed it at the time and never cried in front of anyone until I was in my 20s!

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