Wednesday, January 07, 2009

House Rules...Abide Or Get Left Outside

How much is too much interference into a grown child's life by their parent(s)?

Frankly, as far as I am concerned, any input that comes across as them laying down the law when they don't pay ANY of my bills AND I don't live with them, is TOO MUCH.

This blog was prompted by a conversation I was having with a friend. She was relaying a story to me about this guy whose mother decided to interfere in his life. While I am not at liberty to say why she was meddling, it was basically in regards to a bad decision he made when he was 19/20 years old and now that he is 23/24, his mom wants to get involved. My take on it was that the decision he made, if it was a legal one (meaning if he had to be 18 to make it) then that's HIS bad. Move on and get out of your son's business.

Granted, if you are a parent and you are paying your adult child's bills and/or they live with you, well, sorry adult children, your parent(s) have somewhat of a reserved right to interfere. It sucks but it's the law of the land...don't like it, refuse their handouts. LOL

I moved out of my parent's house when I was 16 years old and vowed to NEVER return to live there. When I was about 20, I moved back in...for 6 months and it was TOO MUCH so I moved to another state...Georgia. I'm from California. That's HOW MUCH I didn't want them in my shat. And to be honest, it wasn't all that bad but I REFUSED to pay $500 A MONTH, plus cable, be made to get my own phone line, and then be told what time to get off the phone AND have to pay for movies I didn't even order. My rent at my apartment I moved from was $565...for real daddy? I aint saving no damn money living witcho miserly azz. You got me f*cked up and that's why I moved to another state....well, a part of why I moved.

But...during those 6 months I had returned, I did as I was "asked". I paid that rent ON off the phone when my dad would peep in my bedroom (no, this negro doesn't know the first thing about knocking...I coulda been butt booty naked, you think he cared? no, it was his house, remember?)...and begrudgingly paid ALL of the cable bill, yes, even the porn my silly azz brother ordered and then tried to lie and say he ain't order it.'re 15 and thought no one would notice...dumbazz.

Now, before I moved back? HA! You couldn't tell me nothing...and you still can't mom and dad. I'll listen to their concerns but that is where I draw the line. Don't tell me what I can and can't do in MY HOUSE. That's what YOUR HOUSE is for. I run this over here, you just focus on your establishment. It took me telling them one time...not so much my mom, more so my dad who is a bit of a control freak. 

Me and my ex-boyfriend lived together between the ages of 18 and 20...Pop's HATED that. He would do his drive bys and just pop up, talking bout he was in the neighborhood. No the hell you wasn' live in Oakland, my apartment is damn near in Berkeley; you have no business over here to attend to AT ALL. Beat it up outta here old man...trying to be slick. One time offense; that's all his ignant azz got. I told him no more popping up; call before you come. This negro thinks he can call me when he's in the drive way, talking bout "I'm coming upstairs". Again, you ONLY get to eff up on this ONE time. No you aren't coming upstairs either. Call before you come means, call, allow me to acknowledge whether or not it's cool for you to just stop by since yo silly azz HAPPENS to be in the neighborhood...then you can come upstairs. He still did what he wanted...he aint get let in the house though. MY house, MY rules. Abide or get left outside. He eventually stopped doing it.

It didn't help that I lived next door to my aunt so he would "pop up" at her house and call me talking bout "I'm about to come over". No you aren't because you just wanna be nosey. Stay over there talking to your sister and stop playing games. I REFUSE to be made uncomfortable in my own home because you don't like my (ex)boyfriend walking around without a shirt on. This is HIS house, not yours. Don't like it, bounce. And he'd have no choice but to get in his truck and trek it on back to Oakland.

Point is, when you have your own shat, you can tell your parents to get out yo shat and they have no choice but to listen...or get ignored. Those are the only two options; there is no happy median as far as I am concerned. LOL

8 points of view:

Diamond~Star said...

LMAO!!!! Girl you got me cracking up over here. Your point is valid. Your house, your rules.

a black girl who did date said...

Some parents butt in because they think that they have failed as a parent. Your bad decisions are a reflection of what they did or did not teach you. Now that is a bit of info that my mother gave me!

AssertiveWit said...

@ a black girl who did date: your key word was SOME...and SOME parents butt in cause they nosey and meddlesome as hell and wanna run their child's life.

SOME parents be so concerned about things that DO NOT concern them. I understand that it is hard when you are dealing with the fruit of your loins but that's a part of growing up for a child/young adult...being able to make decisions (good or bad) on your own, without others (parents included) ALWAYS interfering.

We ALL make bad decisions in life, don't mean parents get some right to get in your shat over it ALL the time though...

jeanette nicole* said...

I'm over here rolling because I had a similar conversation with a friend yesterday who was telling me about someone's mom who has not learned to cut the apron strings. You said it best, your house--your rules.

Number Five said...

LMAO this is hilarious-your dad was a trip That all sounds like an episode of a sitcom or something with him and your aunt trying to weasel their way over. LOL

ChiChi said...

Pretty much. It's irritating as fuck, but hey..."It's MY house!" Yes, I know. LOL

Ms. Independent said...

lmao...your dad is a trip. I can see my pops doing some stuff like that but will also get shut down on first attempt lol.

They just gotta learn when to let go. Trust that they did a good job in rasing you to make the decisions that they would think are best for you but other than that there's not much they can do after a certain point.

Ms_Slim said...

This was hilarious!

"Call before you come means, call, allow me to acknowledge whether or not it's cool for you to just stop by since yo silly azz HAPPENS to be in the neighborhood...then you can come upstairs. He still did what he wanted...he aint get let in the house though. "

LOL Whew! Your dad is something else though. Thanks for sharing; this made me laugh a good one...

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