Friday, January 23, 2009

Hey DJ...You're Nasty

If you see this man, do not shake his hand and I'm going to tell you why.

I listen to V103 in the morning while I am working because the Frank and Wanda Show is funny...I will give them that. Then Ryan Cameron comes on later (with some chick who tries too hard all the time and usually results in getting on my last damn nerves with her whiny voice) and makes me actually like radio again. In my opinion, Ryan IS the better radio personality...but back to the subject at hand. You see this guy to the left? That's Frank Ski and he doesn't use a towel when he "bathes". He uses his hand....for real Frank? You ONLY use your hand? You're nasty.

Don't try to justify your nastiness with the rebuttal that people don't use a towel when washing their hair. Hair and skin are not the same, idiot. Skin needs to be exfoliated (read: SCRUBBED); hair, if you are using the right shampoo, is cleaned properly because of the cleaning agents in the shampoo that are SPECIFICALLY for removing dirt and oils. Again, hair is NOT skin and the soaps aren't necessarily the same. But really...you not using a towel or loofah or net thingy is nasty. You really stick yo hand in yo butt and think that is sufficient? You shat on a daily basis (I'm sure) and you don't see the importance of your behind getting a towel and wiping out all them damn Charmin balls you got dingelberrying it up in yo crack? Nasty azz...seriously Frank...booboo comes out of your butt. If not for anything else, think about your wife when she has to do your laundry and your drawls look like 18-wheelers been running through like your azz is the rest stop. Have a heart for her!

If I was wifey, I'd throw ALL his drawals away EVERY DAY. He'd wonder where his favs are...in the trash with the rest of the Hanes...since you don't care to use a towel. He earlier was talking about how his wife is a germaphobe and be inspecting sheets at the hotels they stay in before they lay on them....she don't inspect yo drawls? C'mon Mrs. Ski...yall got 3 kids. That means yo ridiculous germaphobe ass let yo nasty non-towel using husband get all up in yah...even though his butt wasn't nowhere near clean. I bet some poo prolly got on you while he was bangin it...go be repulsed about that...not some damn sheets in a hotel. Yall got money...they clean and press the sheets where yall stay. Stop being ridiculous and address your husband hand bathing himself like he a newborn and his big azz is damn near 50. Both you and your wife need to be shot in the face with some bebe's.

I bet you don't use wet wipes either...you don't use a towel so I don't see nothing wrong with thinking Wet Ones aren't in your reach either. I don't get it; I take a crap and damn near tear a hole in my azz wiping until the paper is clean. You can't tell me that yo booty be clean like that when you use your hand to clean yoself. Frank...stop it.

I think I am going to go pick up that $4 bundle of towels from Walmart and keep in the car to GIVE YO AZZ when I see you because you need some towels in your life...specifically for that nasty azz you aint' hit up with a towel in God knows how long. I hope you aint' teaching your sons and daughter this behavior...fonkinazz kids.....like they fonkinazz daddy.

Your new name is officially DooDoo Brown aka Frank Skidmark.

P.S. - I bet Ryan Cameron uses towels when he bathes...

20 points of view:

Kenya Goodman said...

Yeah, he is real nasty. I just lost my appetite. I can't believe his nasty ass said that shit. LMAO @ "scrubbed".

Adwoa said...

I am laughing so hard my tummy hurts...

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

thats why i listen to NPR
have a great weekend

a black girl who did date said...

Its the Bert Show for me and ewwwww Frank that is just nasty!!!!

Ms_Slim said...

I hope that when he said he doesnt use a towel, but instead his hand...he MEANT that he used an exfoliating glove...at least. Ugh.

Again - I'm only hoping...

weick said...

Why you all in his butt cheeks? hahahaha! if he likes a crusty ass, and filthy fecal hands- that's his prerogative! OMG! I can't even type this without throwing up a little in my mouth! Ick!

Assertive Wit said...

@Ms. Slim: Take that hope and crush it...he said his bare hand hahahhahaha

@weick: shutcho azzup...you was clowning earlier...just as bad as me. He can LOVE his fecal matter hands all he likes...don't mean I got to shake his boobooshittus hands.

NaturallyAlise said...

Ewwwwwwww, I thought only whitefolks did that, lol... he indeed is nasty....

Beezy said...

Fuck throwing them away every day, I would burn those mofos!!! Ewwww How do you shower without a towel when you KNOW you can afford it! LOL

Jay_fever said...

I gotta say it...Generally speaking, guys don't really care about stuff like "exfoliation".

Otherwise known as Gingivitis said...

Ohh..that is unnecessary, Frank. I bet if you zoom in real close you can see a feces farm building upon itself on his Livestrong bracelet.

DLG said...

LOL a towel is definitely VERY necessary.

I love Ryan Cameron too... you don't like Elle? I like Elle lol.

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

LOL. Frank Ski introduced me to hip hop...his star has grown dim after finding out about this :(

Assertive Wit said...

@NaturallyAlise: you'd be surprised how many PEOPLE (regardless of color) are just plain old nasty and do stuff like this LOL

@Jayfever: I know most guys don't care about ACTUALLY exfoliating but that is what happens when you use a towel; you are rubbing dirt and old cells off your skin...do you use a towel sir? Or are you Frank Skidmarking it up over there? LOL

@DLG: Elle irritates me sometimes...it might be her voice but sometimes she says idiotic things LOL

Christin said...

I am so dead right now. In this day and time where germs, skin eating diseases and infections are at an all time high, it is imperative that you take some of that shoe and clothes money and swing by Wally's world, Dollar General or at least the Dollar Tree and pick up a hand towel. He has clearly been watching too many men's soap commercials where they are in the shower with the bar scrubbing...germs and funk are real!

She Gave Me the Keys said...

I'm not really understanding the uproar. Number one, he's a dude. Number two, he's a dude. Wet wipes? Is he supposed to carry them joints in his wallet? LOL. Exfoliate? See reasons one and two. Dismissing the dead skin debate, are we saying that our own hands and soap are officially insufficient means of washing ourselves? *confused* Now I'm not a doctor but I watch 'em on TV (lol) and I don't see the towels coming out when they prep for surgery. I'm just saying. Let's get really techinical...yeah, the towel removes the dirt and skin cells and the yada, yada, yada from your body...BUT...in essence, when we're using that same towel during the same wash session, aren't we still kinda putting some of that sht back? OR are we to believe that ALL of that soot is off from a run under the water?

Everybody is all up in arms and there's a whole bunch of nasty nasty that could be going on. At least the dude showers. LOL.

-Devil's Advocate.

Assertive Wit said...

@ She Gave Me the Keys: Just because someone is a male doesn't mean that they have to have no regard for cleanliness. When did manliness translate to automatically being unclean? Personally, I don't too much hang around anyone who is unclean, like that. Second, have you ever bathed a baby before? If so, did you only use a towel on girl babies and not on boy babies? So we stop using towels when the baby becomes a man? Right....

All doctors have to wash their hands before they do any procedure and they wipe them off with a paper towel; they may not show it on TELEVISION but it happens in REAL LIFE. They aren't washing their body so why would they use a towel at all? It's their hands...

And if someone chooses to use the same towel day in, day out, so be it but I change my towel so I'm not putting the same dirt I wipe off, back on to me.

Your point was? Right. LOL

She Gave Me the Keys said...

LOL. You are really worked up about this. I was just coming back to make a point about women who takes baths. If you're all ranting and raving about this then sitting in a tub of your own dirtiness is right there with it. Pull the plunge water stopper thingy and go down the drain with the grey water. LOL.

And no, I've never bathed a baby before. I'd imagine you just dunk 'em to the neck a few times then dry 'em.

HANDS are where the germs get transferred. Hand shakes, eating, touching, preparing, serving...hands. All of them. Really. Look into that.

You're not using the same towel day in and day out but you're using the same towel in that one wash. And that was my point. Okay?

Never once did I associate a man with being unclean. If you read what I said verbatim you'll notice the connection I made with dead skin cells, baby wipes and exfoliation. Just clarifying.

Oh yeah...bath takers are nasty too. There are orifices down there at the bottom of the tub just...sitting there. ILK. LOL. :)

Assertive Wit said...

@ She Gave Me the Keys: really worked up? naw not really...it was just something funny to write about.

I personally don't take baths unless I'm soaking to relieve some kind of pain...then I take a shower to wash the dirt off. Can't speak for everyone else but that's why I don't take baths because it grosses me out that you have to sit in your own dirt.

I don't have to look into HANDS because you're telling me something I already know...and...you're a clown. LOL

Kryssy said...

lmao!!!! It's actually an American thing to use a washcloth. I grew up in Trinidad, and never used a washcloth until I moved to America at age 9... I think I was pretty clean though... lol

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