I never thought that I had friends that had the ability to be jealous of ANYTHING I have or do. I figured I only made that mistake once (with the Evil Cousin) but as time goes on, people change.
This friend that I will now be cutting off wasn't like this when I CHOSE to be her friend 7 years ago. Life has a way of dealing you hands that you don't want to necessarily play; you can either play the hand you were dealt and chalk it up to life, b*tch and complain about how horrible life is, or make the best of your situation and remember that somebody always has it worst than you. We all go through rough spots in life but this person....the last 3 years has been one huge pile of misery that is only getting worse.
There is only so much you can say and do for someone who CHOOSES to remain miserable as hell. I don't too much care for going around the miserable because they have a way of destroying any happiness anyone thought they might have had. All things considered, I chose to keep my distance because she had a way of sucking the happy life out of me every time I went around her.
Almost 5 month ago I traded my 1997 Honda Accord in for a 2001 Land Rover. I RARELY do really nice things for myself so I figured, it was time. I was happy with my purchase because it was affordable and it was a vehicle I had my eye on for a while but I finally made up the decision to get a car note. It wasn't that I couldn't afford one...didn't need one so I didn't want one. My car was just fine but I wanted an upgrade. It's been in the family since 1999 and I had it since 2002...
So I go over her house and she comes outside and the first words out of her mouth were:
"Whose truck you got?"
I kind of frowned because the first thought through my head was "why can't it be mine???" but I simply said, "Ummmm, it's mine". She replied, "You didn't tell me that you got a new car". I kind of frowned again because...why do I have to tell ANYONE when I do something for myself? Was I supposed to get on the phone and call all my friends making a public service announcement that I had a new truck and did they want to see it? No. It's not necessary. You'll see it whenever we hang out or whenever...it isn't that serious. She had this obvious look of disapproval on her face but again, I wasn't going to let her funky attitude ruin the evening. Mind you, she was fine...before she saw my truck.
So I'm having drinks last night with a mutual friend of ours and she becomes the topic of conversation because I asked if she had seen her yet since she'd been in town. Somehow the conversation segues into this:
"Yeah, you do have a new truck, huh?"
"Yeah, it's not that big a deal though but I like it!"
"Well (insert hating ass friend here) said that you can't afford that truck and she doesn't know why you bought it. But she was going on about some other things you were doing too that just didn't make sense lately so...yeah but she said that truck is too expensive for you and that with the recession going on that was a stupid purchase to make considering all the layoffs at your job and what not"
I get angry in a matter of milliseconds. My blood pressure instantly shot through the roof and my heartbeat became so loud I could feel it pulsating in my ears.
For real? You're gonna tell someone else what I can afford when you can barely afford your $1200 mortgage? I'm instantly livid because...we're SUPPOSED to be friends and this is what you are saying behind my back?
But let's get to the facts of the matter....my truck will be paid off in 2011. Yes, in 2.5 years my truck will be paid off...I haven't been late on ANY car payments for as long as I've had car payments with ANY car. I've NEVER asked her for ANY money to pay ANY bills as long as she's known me...or anyone else for that matter. NO ONE HELPS ME PAY MY BILLS BUT ME.
Another fact...the layoffs at my job didn't commence until November; I didn't know they were going to happen UNTIL November. I bought my truck in August. But I guess she knows more about my employer's economic situation than I did and I do. Right. I didn't tell her that there were layoffs at my job until a couple weeks ago...yes, in December.
Another fact...I make more money than her....and she has no idea how much that is. But she can tell me what I can and can't afford? Right. No b*tch, YOU can't afford it so you are projecting.
So the conversation trolls along as I sit in amazement at someone who I do not know anymore. Seven years of friendship...gone in a matter of minutes. Now I'm a fair person so I will talk to her about it but the likelihood of everything she said being true? Very likely. Like I said, in the last few years, she's become someone I don't even recognize anymore, due to her miserable lot in life.
She isn't happy with the amount of hours she has to work in order to keep her head above water...she wants to be in a relationship but doesn't feel the need to improve areas in her life that will make her more appealing to the opposite sex...she wants children but can't afford them right now. Nothing in her life is going right...in her opinion.
I can give a TON of reasons she has to be happy though...for one...she's a homeowner and has been one for the last couple of years. She's 28 years old and owns a VERY nice house. Be happy that your sh*t isn't in foreclosure like so many other people's homes. Am I a homeowner? Nope. Am I jealous of her because of that? Of course not. I can have that too...if I really wanted it. I'm elated for her though...she doesn't have to deal with sorry azz Property Managers like me because I refuse to buy some property. So kudos to her.
After talking some more with the mutual friend, the friend says, "I hate to say it but I've grown to believe she's jealous of you...because you're happy despite the negative things that could keep you down right now".
Well, I'll be damned. If you're SUPPOSED to be my friend, why would you ever be jealous of me? And wouldn't you want to be happy for me? Apparently not. So she has to go because I didn't sign up for this and if there is one thing I hate almost as much as a liar, it's someone who is jealous of others...ESPECIALLY when they are jealous of something they too can have.
I had to get that off my chest so when I do speak to her it won't come out in a fit of rage...finishing my coffee now.
NOTE: I cannot list every event during our "friendship" here because it would turn into a novel, versus this semi-short blog. I don't randomly go around claiming people are jealous of me OR even hating on me. It has to either come out of their mouth first OR I have some evidence that supports my suspicions. In addition to my "speculations", more than one person who has been privy to seeing us interact with one another has asked me if she was jealous and me, giving her the benefit of the doubt, said no. Maybe I spoke too soon...while she is DEFINITELY miserable, there is something else going on here too...