My mom called me this morning and said the following:
"I have an idea about something for you to write about. Write about what it means to be grown. Just because you are an adult, doesn't mean you are grown. Being grown means you are responsible"
So I will concede to her wishes and write about what it means to be grown.
Technically, anyone who is an adult is considered to be "grown". Although, when you insert the word RESPONSIBILITY into the equation, it can change some people's definition of what they believe the word "grown" to be. Because I know my mother, I know EXACTLY what she is referring to when she says that just because you are an adult, it doesn't make you grown. I had this conversation with my dad a while back, who is FAR more technical than my mother and he gets irritated when people say things like "I'm a grown adult" because he says you are stating the obvious. Physically, yes you would be; mentally, maybe not so much.
Regardless of how you were raised, there comes a time in your life when you will need to be 100% self-sufficient. When my mother was talking about being grown, she was referring to this. Unfortunately, not everyone reaches that plateau in life where they do not NEED to go to someone to help them take care of themselves. What? An adult who needs help taking care of thyself? Yes...it happens.
I was talking to a friend the other day and they were pretty much tearing someone else a new one because they were 30 and their parents STILL "supported them". Did that mean they still lived with their parents? No, but their parents paid their car note, rent, utilities, and anything else they couldn't manage to pay themselves...even though they are a GROWN ADULT...and had a full-time job. Believe it or not, you can be an adult and not be grown. When my mother was talking to me, she was referring to doing all the adult things in life that are NORMAL, without the constant help of your parents and/or whoever normally took care of you...when you were child.
So what does it mean to be GROWN?
I always viewed a grown person as one who:
- paid their own rent
- paid their own car note
- paid their own car insurance
- bought their own groceries
- kept all their utilities on
- paid their own cell phone bill
regardless of having to eat Top Ramen and/or rice for breakfast, lunch, and dinner...
Many times, I got into it with "friends" over this subject because they relied on their parents/guardians to take care of these things for them...a few called me a hater and I laughed...a few said I was just jealous and wished someone would take care of me and I laughed. The point is, they were salty because they KNEW these are things their adult azz SHOULD be doing but were just privileged enough to not HAVE TO do it or do a half ass job of it because SOMEONE was bound to save them.
Now, if you have someone you can convince to do these things for your grown azz, hey, more power to you but if not, REALLY look at what you are doing with the money you do receive...if you have a FULL-TIME job that pays pretty decent, why can't you take care of yourself??? Does your irresponsibility come into play because you know you have that safety net of someone elses income?
I would stare in amazement at my Evil Cousin and her friends because these heffas ALWAYS managed to have money for a new pair of shoes to hit the club in and a snazzy little dress from Lohmans to floss in but no money to pay their rent. I was also dumbfounded as to how they had money to blow during homecoming weekend but no money to keep their lights and cell phone on. I was thoroughly blown when they had money for manicure and pedicures but no money to put food in their refrigerator. Am I still hating? No.
As a GROWN ADULT, you have priorities and some of those things are mentioned above so if you can manage to take care of ALL of those things without asking OR coming across so pitiful to your parents that they just stick the money in your account, well THEN you are grown. Until then, accept the fact that you are a man or woman child (yes you...you are Mowgli*) who is STILL very much dependant on someone elses source of income for your survival.
Mom, I don't know if that's what you wanted me to write but in the event Tenniel or Rodney reads this, I didn't want them coming after me with pitchforks and knives because I know what you wanted me to REALLY say...LOL
*Mowgli - the mancub who needed constant rescuing in Jungle Book...he wasn't very self-sufficient, remember?