Monday, December 01, 2008

I Want To Die

I am sitting at my desk wanting to die.

The dramatics are a result of me thinking I could come into work today while my sinuses are draining. WRONG. Boy was I wrong....I'm currently sitting here breathing through my mouth because my nose is not functioning properly. I hate. I hate it all.

About 15 minutes ago I sneezed and because my nose isn't functioning right I gotta cover my mouth so I don't get spit all on the monitor, only for my nose to decide it wants to work right and I get all kinds of slime all over my hand. Sorry TMI but this is what made me hang up my efforts to sit through this non-breathing work day. Oh, that slime and a hand full of blood my nose decided to spew out as well. Uber gross. I know.

So after I'm finishing scrubbing my hands until they are almost raw in the bathroom, I go back to my desk and the phone is ringing. I pick up. It's some individual that is talking far too fast for me to understand anything they are saying and when they slow down enough for me to decipher words here and there, I realize it's someone trying to sell me something. He mentions that he is trying to update our contact information in Infocity. I've never heard of this company so while he is talking, I'm googling. He keeps talking far too fast for me to catch up so I ask him to slow down and tell me what company he works for. He pauses.

You know...that "Dammit, she caught me" pause. He slowly repeats his name but says his company name faster. I'm still googling what I thought I heard him say (Infocity) and I ask him what he has our company listed as since he wants to update. He speeds through the name again. I type it in. Nothing. So I type in our ACTUAL company name. Nothing. Gotcha, sneaky little bastard. So I say politely, through this congested schnoze of mine, "Ummm, I'm checking online while you pull up whatever information you need so I can see what you have us listed as, ok?"

He hurriedly says, "OH! I have another call coming in! Thank you for your time. Bye!"

What he was TRYING to do was trick me into giving him our contact information so he could list us without our permission. I might be sick and can't breath for shat today but nothing is wrong with my brain buddy!

Damn idiot....I can't wait for my friend to come get me so I can go overdose on NyQuil and fall asleep...there will be no more coffee today unless someone brings me some Cognac to spike it with.

13 points of view:

jeanette nicole* said...

Awwww, hope you feel better soon! :) Damn this winter and the colds it brings!

a black girl who did date said...

Hot Toddy is what you need!!

Ms_Slim said...

Aww...feel better, Syn.

And boo to that nukka trying to take advantage of you in your state of vulnerability. SMH!

Diamond~Star said...

Dayum it on the little scammer trying to get your contact info...and then trying to speed talk his way through it. Wow.

Hope you feel better.

Unknown said...

Feel better and hurry!
Don't forget Lemon and Honey tea. Be good til next time.
Mista Jaycee

Christina said...

Feel better!

DLG said...

Aww feel better!

I go heavy on the NyQuil when I get sick too. lol

Anonymous said...

Feel better Asswit...

I know how the sniffles with sporadic snot shooting is like this time of the year...I went through that on

Unknown said...

Can a blogger ever give TMI?
This is reason I read blogs.
I don't want to talk about the weather or Simon Cowell or the president-elect, I want TMI.
And, no I don't mean your sex life, I just mean you. YOU. I don't want you saying to me, "You don't understand me." Give me TMI and I will!
Wish you better, honey.

Mr Keys said...

I might be sick and can't breath for shat today but nothing is wrong with my brain buddy!

Too funny! Feel better.

Kofi Bofah said...

Feel better.

Maybe stay home next time.

AssertiveWit said...

@ everyone: thank you!!!!

Brilliance Is A Habit (c) Unknown said...

Awww, I hope you're feeling better. I hate telemarketers, I always just hang up on them. lol

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