Tuesday, December 09, 2008

I Can't and I Won't




Imagine that picture above of gutted fish but like 3 weeks old, sitting right in front of your face...do you have the fonk good and imagined in your nostrils? Great...because now you too know what smacked me in the face as I ran head first into it because I had to pee so badly at work. Lemme tell you...nothing worked quicker to remove my need to pee than that smell. I instantly went from having to pee like I had ingested a gallon of water to wanting to throw up my piece of chicken I had for lunch.

This fonk mobb situation is getting out of hand. WHY DOES IT SMELL LIKE THAT AND I HAVEN'T EVEN HIT THE BATHROOM YET??? Seriously, there is a glass door you have to go through before you even reach the restroom and you could smell that gutted bad fish smell OUTSIDE the door. NEVER WILL YOUR BOWELS SMELL LIKE THIS!!!! WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON??? Something MUST be wrong with your colon if you are able to emanate smells like this.

It wasn't that Aunt Flo smell either...it was rotten...and unearthly. Like they had eaten an entire cow ALIVE, it died in their belly, and they didn't pass it for years. I know I said in the previous blog that I wouldn't be getting anyone in this office anything for the holidays but I lied...Lysol for EVERYONE because whatever woman in this office has this God forsaken stench coming out of her bunghole SERIOUSLY needs the Lysol. YOU'RE A WOMAN FOR CRYING OUTLOUD!!! YOU SMELL WORSE THAN SOME MEN!!!

It's for the greater good...


4 points of view:

phallatio said...

Funny! Guys bathrooms are even worse! Guys will just dump and, if the toilet doesn't flush, they will just walk away from a blocked toilet! And how do you think the term' floater' came about? If a guy flushes and a stray turd doesn't make the U-Bend, they will just leave it there! Nasty! Personally, I adopt a double-flush policy, so I ensure I never leave anything behind!

Adwoa said...

..reading this just makes me gag...ugh!!!...maybe it's not a person?!?...I would hate to think the stench is from a human being....ugh!!

The Lysol idea is great...maybe you can throw in a can of Febreeze too =)
..hope it gets better!

She Gave Me the Keys said...

*done*

This was WAY too funny to read while drinking my OJ this AM. I've heard some scary stories about the smells eminating from the ladies rooms. Funny thing, when I first started working in a corporate environment, there was this foyne older woman on my floor. I used to watch her get her strut on until I saw her struttin' to the bathroom with a can of Lysol. I was SO turned off. LOL. Little did I know it wasn't for her...it was for everyone else.

Mista Jaycee said...

EWWWWWW!

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