Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Just Being Grateful For the Kind People Who STILL Exist

A while back I wrote a blog and mentioned that I had gone to get breakfast at WhackDonald's. The cashier gave me my breakfast for free and I had EVERY intention of giving her that $4 back the next day but unfortunately....she wasn't there the next morning.

I don't eat WhackDonald's breakfast (or food) everyday like that so I was disappointed that when I did sporadically go in the morning, she wasn't there. I figured, maybe she had a change in shift so I asked The Bestest to keep an eye out for a middle aged Black lady with a gold tooth and let me know what time he sees her working so I can go give her the $4. No such luck there either...

It kind of saddened me because for a quick second the thought crossed my mind "Did she get fired for giving me my breakfast for free"? I know that's a bit far fetched but I would NEVER rule it out...she don't own WhackDonald's and I'm sure her Manager would have frowned at her giving me free breakfast. Then I thought about the hourly wage they make in fast food me my breakfast and having to take $4 out her pocket to make her register balance isn't something she can afford to do all the time.

So I made it my resolve that no matter WHERE I saw this woman, I was going to give her back that $4...if not for anything else BUT to show her I REALLY appreciated her unnecessary kindness.

I wanted coffee this morning and WhackDonalds gives out free small coffees between 5 am and 8 I thought I'd get me some hash browns too. The cashier rings up my food on that electronic board and I see that she charges me for the coffee AND hash browns. I politely ask her if the coffee is still free between 5 and 8...she says yes but the register still reads $2. It's far too early in the morning for me to be getting sicwitit (sick with it = being "direct", but for a reason) so I just make up in mind to let it go and maybe it'll be fixed when I get up there to pay.

Well low and behold!!! Guess who the cashier is??? None other than the Breakfast Angel!!!! She doesn't recognize me but still smiles that warm, motherly, gold toothed smile. So my total comes out to $1.08 but I left all my change in my other coat pocket...maybe that was God wanting me to give her more than what my breakfast initially cost cause I only had $5 bills left. I handed her $6 and she looked down all confused and said:

"Ma'am, it's just $1.08"

I said:

"I know but one day I got some breakfast and you paid for keep the change"

She still looked confused and said:

"But I don't remember" (I interrupted her)

"You closed your register by accident" (she interrupts me)

"I remember you now. Bless your heart! You remembered me?"

I think I saw a tear well up in her eye and she smiled and didn't try to give me back that $5 anymore. Now, lord knows I don't need to be giving away no money since I have to move next month (February) but I felt compelled to make good on my word. Her smile and almost tear made my day!!!!!

Now, to finish this tasty WhackyD's coffee...

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Goal for (insert year here): Make $17,000 A Year

That isn't my goal because I make WAYYYYY more money than that hahhahahahhahahha

THAT...that was one of my old roommates goals...along with these (remembering what I read):


1. Make $17,000 a year

2. Live in at least a 2 bedroom/1 bath in Miami near the club scene and beach

3. Work at a high-end boutique (Louis Vuitton, Coach, etc.)

Now, I stumbled on these when I was packing her trashy azz room up because she had bounced and went to Mexico on a cruise and left NO RENT MONEY. That's an entirely different story I will share at another time but I had enough of her foolishness so I stared at this list of hers and fought the urge to laugh....not because her goals were just ridiculous on so many levels....

I laughed because a few months prior to me seeing this, we were talking about LIFE goals and I told her that I wanted to be worth my first million by the time I was 30 (I'll be 30 at the end of 2009)....and she laughed in my face and said:

"Be realistic. That's impossible."

I wanted to backhand her in the face. How dare you laugh at me and tell me it's impossible when I had 4 years to continue working towards it? dare you laugh at ANYONE when your goals in life don't even coincide with a rational thought process??? First of all, her goals would need to be accomplished within a few months because the year was almost over and she was nowhere near Miami. Maybe she was going to take the rent money she'd stiffed me for ($500) and do it moving to Miami, who knows. CANNOT live ANYWHERE near South Beach making $17,000 a year. Full-time, that's about $8 and some change an hr....and that's before taxes are deducted. After taxes, she would have been looking at about $6 and a quarter. Where you gone live in MIAMI, NEAR THE BEACH AND CLUB SCENE, making $1,000 a month (give or take a few dollars)??? Even if she had a roommate, she'd be living by the skin of her teeth.

If she didn't have that salary listed, her goals would have been more reasonable and very much attainable if she worked hard enough to achieve them.

My best friend told someone that one day he would have this certain car that's over $100k....and the people he was talking to, laughed in his face too.

What I've gathered is that people who would laugh in your face for the life goals you want to achieve (that are VERY possible with a little hard work), they laugh because they couldn't fathom achieving those things themself so it still appears impossible for someone else to do it. By the way, my old roommate was the laziest person I know in life. She mooched off of anyone unaware of the fact that she was a no good leech azz. Her goals were based on things her friends were CURRENTLY doing. They didn't make any sense because she was already making $17,000 in the beginning of the year and had gotten a raise to where she was making about $20,000. So why would you make a goal to make less WHILE living in a city that requires you to make more?

If she had a brain worthy of mentioning, her last two goals would have been something to give her kudos for. Since she didn't and probably still doesn't to this day (have any good sense), I chuckled to myself as I took her list of goals and packed them away with the rest of her disgusting belongings. Chuckling because she had the nerve to laugh at me. Idiot.

Anyway, for all of you who read this and are busy trying to get out your dreams, may you all have good fortune. No matter how big or small your dreams/goals are. If you are actively working to pursue them, you will, whether it is in 2009, sooner, or later!

How You Love Is Not How EVERYONE Should Love

Precursor: this is NOT about someone in particular; I just noticed a LOT of women are busy bodies in other people's lives when they should be focusing on their own lives.

I receive the DailyOM in my email every morning and I haven't been reading them lately because I wasn't feeling the titles but today I decided to open one that said "The Way We Love". I found in that OM something I always tell people who are judgemental of others and the TYPES of relationships people choose to have with others:

"The way we choose to love can be as unique as the way we choose to make a living, maintain our health, or entertain ourselves...feel free to be comfortable with whatever choice is right for you...remember that what is right for one person may not be right for another..."

The main focus of the OM was choosing to be in a relationship OR choosing to be single. Basically, people should be left alone to decide what is best for them. I strongly believe that these words should be applied with who people choose to love as well. Just because someone else might THINK that person is unsuitable for you, that doesn't mean it's a fact and you should go ditching the person you are perfectly comfortable with.

The more I try to acclimate myself to getting back into friendships with women, I am CONSTANTLY reminded WHY I made the choice many years ago to keep more men as friends than women. While all women do not behave this way, I've noticed a lot of women are VERY quick to judge their friends situations and feel it is their right if they are your friend. I NEVER had this problem with ANY of my guy friends (unless we suspected him of being homosexual; then...all bets are off and I pretty much got the same response from him as I did from a lot of my female friends). There is nothing more I cannot stand than when someone feels they know what's better for me than I do. I would NEVER be so haughty as to assume I can do better with someones situation than they can....even if they are making obvious mistakes in their relationship. Those are THEIR mistakes to make in THEIR relationship.

I miss my guy friends a lot because IF and WHEN I had some issues with men or my women friends, it would be a quick conversation, no judgement attached. I think a lot of the judgement comes in when people look at you as a person and say "(S)He deserves so much better". But the question to ask yourself the minute that crosses your mind is, "Who are you to decide that for them?"

I have a friend who is happily married to her husband and they have gone on to have some beautiful children as a result of their union. While she was dating her husband though, a mutual friend of ours would ALWAYS talk about her boyfriend (now, her husband), how he was a loser and a bum, she was going to be taking care of him the entire time they were together, she deserved better, blah, blah, blah. The truth was (and still is), she was HAPPY with this man. Of course they had relationship issues like anyone else (they aren't perfect) but she loved him and was happy. Our friend who was VERY judgemental about their relationship was looking at him as though it was someone SHE would date and that is why (in her mind) it wasn't acceptable for her friend to date him. 

As friends, we need to remove OURSELVES from being so involved in our friends dating lives. If you aren't sleeping with your friend, YOU DO NOT have an AUTOMATIC right to get in their business when you feel you need to intervene. 

Granted, there are things that I cannot get from my male friends emotionally that I receive from my female friends and THOSE THINGS I am grateful for, I just sometimes wish some of the females in my life would fall back and stop aggressively meddling in their friends lives. Let your friends live THEIR lives!!!!

I'm off to stare at the coffee pot as it brews...

Monday, December 29, 2008

The Nerve Of Some Folks...

I haven't had any coffee...haven't even turned the pot on. I want some water but there are no bottles of it anywhere in sight in the office. So before I go make the pot of coffee I'll probably only be drinking (because no one else is in today), I decided to share this...

I decided I'm going to come in Mon-Wed this week because I have payroll taxes, W-2's, 1099's, and billings to do that CANNOT wait until January 5th...when every one else will be back in the office. So I'm parking my truck and the parking lot guy who cleans walks up to me and asks me:

"Ma'am, can you please move your truck to another spot? Like over there?" (pointing to the left)

I'm looking around at ALL the other empty parking spots and without even thinking say:

"Ummm, no"

Jackass? No and let me tell you why I am not...when I had my car, it was hit 3 times parking in this lot, on the side he pointed to so when he asks, "Why?", I politely tell him:

"Because my car has been hit three times, WHILE it's been parked there. I'm good where I'm at"

This isn't good enough for him so he says:

"Ma'am, I need to sweep there and get those balloons off the ground. You can't park there?"
(and points to another area...where my truck has suffered a nice denting from someone recklessly driving too close)

"Nope. Because I've been hit there too"

He's frustrated now and taking his job WAYYYYYY too seriously because I look down and there are NO balloons UNDERNEATH my truck...there are balloons near my tires and resting in brooms reach on the sides...I don't need to move my truck for him to do his job. So he huffs, walks away, and then turns around and says:

"Well, parking there ain't gone stop your truck from getting hit"

To which I smiled and said:

"Well, this is the ONLY space where my vehicles HAVEN'T been hit so UNTIL they do get scuffed by someone else driving recklessly, I'll continue to park here. Good day sir"

I think the "good day sir" pissed him off more than me CONTINUOUSLY telling him no. LMAO

Some might think I was being ridiculous but you tell me if you'd appreciate being inconvenienced by someone not paying attention and causing you over $700 worth of damage to the back of your car. Out of the 4 times my vehicles were "assaulted", 1 person left their phone number and name for me to contact them to get the "damages" repaired. Forever grateful for that because it was rather unsightly. The other 3 nicks, I had to take an L because typically, people don't give a shat when they hit an unparked car and the owner is nowhere in sight.

Going to make my coffee now...everyone have a pleasant Monday!

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Tag...OR Not

I know people do not always comply with Tags so do it if you feel compelled...or not. I figured I'd participate in a few since everything I want to write about lately, I just might be accused of talking about someone I REALLY had no intentions of making feel insecure by them reading my blog...tags are safe, as far as I'm concerned. They are about me and only me so if someone happens to self-apply...well, maybe they're just practicing being their normal asshole self.


1. Link to the person who tagged you. (No one tagged me but I did see it on this blog:
2. Post the rules on your blog. They are as follows...
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
5. Let each person know they've been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

I'm not tagging anyone; those rules are for those who plan to tag others...

1. I will buy/download music I've never heard before because everyone needs to be given a's how I've stumbled on some of the greatest lyrics, music, and art I've ever heard in my life

2. No matter how many times I tell people that I LOVE music, books AND graphic novels, they STILL buy me shitty gifts that have nothing to do with anything I REALLY like in life. Some might view it differently but I view it as you not paying attention...and it irritates me worse than a wedgie. I promise you it does...

3. I touch the ceiling of any vehicle I am driving if I run a yellow light. I know its superstitious as hell and I don't care. I started doing it when an old roommate of mine told me that every time we passed through a yellow light and didn't get hit, it was her mother saving us. It creeped me out the first time she said it but we all used to do it...cause she loved her mom to death...and it made her smile. Last time I hung out with her for homecoming, she noticed I still did it...and it made her smile. I've been doing that crazy superstitious crap for almost 8 years now...

4. I used to know how to swim but my fear of large bodies of water somewhat paralyzes me to the point where I can't remember how to swim when I am in water. One day, I plan on getting over this phobia...but not today. For me, it isn't like riding a bike...

5. While my track record shows that most of the guys I've dated were (and still are) attractive, that isn't the reason I formed some kind of attachment to was their brain that kept my attention arrested. I'm a sucker for someone who exudes intelligence...this is not sequestered simply to book knowledge. Intelligence spans so much farther than what can be gathered in a book...

6. I can draw but it isn't a talent I ever plan to perfect because writing is more interesting to, my sister pretty much has that talent on lock and takes the cake when it comes to that kind of art. She drew the picture at the top of this blog for one of my (personal) company logos.

The Essence

1. Put your iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your next answer.
3. You must write that song name down no matter how outrageous it sounds!
4. This rule said something about tagging back, but whatever, do as you please :)

Hard Tops & Drops - Keak Da Sneak ft. Paul Wall
(if you’re from the Bay Area, you’ve more than likely heard this before)

“...that’s how we ride...”

Marianne - Coldplay
(I’ve never listened to this song all the way through...funny thing is, the words sound like something my best friend would write...about one of his many loves)

“...gonna write a song and see how a woman feels...”

All Over Me - The Jacka ft. Matt Blaque
(more Bay Area music...I guess if you changed the girl references to guy references, it’d apply LOL)

A Long Walk - Jilly from Philly
(guess it’s my life purpose to love this clown)

“you’re here, I’m pleased...I was blind but now I see”

Bring Back Your Love - Christion
(I’m not a beggar so this is funny...but one of my old favs I used to leave on repeat)

Holding Back the Years - Simply Red
(maybe they do think I hold on too long...oh well, my life, my rules)

“...that’s all I have today, it’s all I have to say”

Da Art of Storytelling Part 4 - DJ Drama feat. Outkast
(I actually think about the art of storytelling quite often...some got it, some don’t)

“...thought to myself, that’s the shape of things to come...”

WHAT IS 2+2?
Oooh So Sexy - Jon B. (off his new album “Helpless Romantic”)
(2+2=me+him=helpless romantic(s))

So Fly remix - Slim feat. Shawty Lo
(he actually is pretty fly when he’s on his A-game)

Vienna - The Fray
(this is actually the person I like, their favorite song)

Brain - N.E.R.D.
(if you’ve never heard it before, go listen to’s actually one of my favorite songs from them)

“...I just really love your brain [metaphorically AND literally LOL]...”

Creator - Santogold
(I agree)

“...tell me no, I say yes, I was chosen and I will deliver the, I’m a Creator...”

Picture Me Rollin’ - 2Pac
(I actually do think this when I see him LOL)

“...why ni**s look mad...bustas...”

Viva La Vida - Coldplay
(they don’t just THINK I’m living the life...they know I’m living MY life)

Break of Dawn - Michael Jackson
(I’ll allow has a feel good melody to it)

World of Pain - Colin Munroe
(VERY suiting!!!)

“cause there is a time for joy and a time for rain, a time for loss and a time for gain, oh my, welcome to a world of pain”

Death and All His Friends - Coldplay
(sounds morbid but VERY relaxing song)

“...and in the end we lie awake and dream of making our escape...”

Straight Up Menace - MC Eight
(hahahhahaa, yes, yes I do think this of SOME of my friends)

How We Do It In the A - Lloyd
(yes, this is the worst thing that could happen in my world...I don’t aspire to do or be what they focus on in the A LOL)

Hung Up - Madonna
(sounds like a suicide...yikes!)

Crown Royal - Jilly from Philly
(maybe I would regret it...maybe not ;)...I shall see eventually)

Back In Love - Estelle
(and it does make me laugh at times)

“...even if our love should change you should know that I don’t ever want to leave...”

Sparks - Coldplay
(this song could make you cry...there is actually some meaning attached to it that if I think to hard about it, it will make me sad)

“...I’ll always look out for you. That’s what I’ll do...”

Still Standing - Monica
(maybe...who knows...we’ll see when/if I feel like it)

“ gotta walk by faith, not by sight...”

Where Do We Go From Here - Alicia Keys
(the million dollar question...)
“maybe you won’t go, maybe you’ll stay”

I Still Love You - 702
(yes, it does scare me)

“everyone needs someone by their don’t take a rocket scientist to know I love you...I need you...if you believe that you and me could change the world some day then believe me when I say I still love you...”

Say Yes (Timbaland Remix) - Floetry
(lord knows I should have said no LOL)

“I want yo body...all you gotta do is say yes..”

Say All I Need - One Republic
(sometimes hurts...not all the time)

“do you know where your heart is, do you think you can find you know where your love is, do you think that you lost it...”

The Essence - AZ feat. Nas

“...let’s do it again...let’s do it to win...”

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Status Shmatus

Statuses on sites like myspace, facebook, twitter, and my instant messengers....*sighing*

I'm sighing because of all the people who read entirely too much into what people post...AND...the people who are uber emo and want to let everyone know how emo they are every second of the day.

NEWSFLASH: No one cares that one tear dropped from your eye at 11:40 am and then another tear dropped from your eye at 11:41 am and then six more dropped from your eyes at 11:42 am...what in the hell is your problem? At this point you have me convinced that you want someone to ask you what is wrong. What you've also convinced me to do is NOT ask you if you're okay. You're dying for someone to ask so you can unload a bunch of shat onto them that they REALLY don't care to hear or know. Stop it.

Changing statuses can be fun...inspirational (for some)...or just what they are, what you are currently doing.

I use my statuses to post interesting quotes I come across in the morning, as well as, lyrics from songs I listen to throughout the day that are catchy ("match made in heaven, set the fires in hell" or something like that...dopeness...all Lupe).'s quite irritating when people think my status is DIRECTLY talking about someone in particular.

What I mean by that is, if I was just talking to you today about someone irritating me and you see my status has nothing to do with this conversation today, why would you assume my status tomorrow has something to do with a conversation we had yesterday? doesn't. But I've accepted because other people do that, they assume EVERYONE does it.

Granted, there are times when you are talking to someone and you might feel compelled to change your status to reflect your conversation. Fine. It happens. But don't go self-applying.

It's almost as if everyone forgets the saying "if the shoe fits wear it". That person might not even be talking about you but IF what they are saying applies to you, put your damn shoe on and wear it...and shut the hell up about it. Confused about that? Example...if I change my status on facebook to "electric blue nails are ghetto as hell and you need to be shot in the left eye for wearing that polish" and you look down and your nails are...electric blue...and you just posted pictures of yourself WHILE wearing the polish...well, that's your bad. Stop wearing electric blue polish.

BUT....don't assume I'm talking about or to you...especially if you don't live in the same state as me...and that would also be you assuming I looked at your pictures. How People post so much shat throughout the day that if I can't easily access it from the Goldbeezy, well, I just might not notice it until I'm bored and accidentally click on your page one day.

FYI: I don't hate electric blue nail polish; I have some on my toes right now.

Point is...statuses are just that...statuses. Little updates not to be taken seriously ALL the time.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Who Needs Enemies When You Have Friends Like This???

I never thought that I had friends that had the ability to be jealous of ANYTHING I have or do. I figured I only made that mistake once (with the Evil Cousin) but as time goes on, people change.

This friend that I will now be cutting off wasn't like this when I CHOSE to be her friend 7 years ago. Life has a way of dealing you hands that you don't want to necessarily play; you can either play the hand you were dealt and chalk it up to life, b*tch and complain about how horrible life is, or make the best of your situation and remember that somebody always has it worst than you. We all go through rough spots in life but this person....the last 3 years has been one huge pile of misery that is only getting worse.

There is only so much you can say and do for someone who CHOOSES to remain miserable as hell. I don't too much care for going around the miserable because they have a way of destroying any happiness anyone thought they might have had. All things considered, I chose to keep my distance because she had a way of sucking the happy life out of me every time I went around her.

Almost 5 month ago I traded my 1997 Honda Accord in for a 2001 Land Rover. I RARELY do really nice things for myself so I figured, it was time. I was happy with my purchase because it was affordable and it was a vehicle I had my eye on for a while but I finally made up the decision to get a car note. It wasn't that I couldn't afford one...didn't need one so I didn't want one. My car was just fine but I wanted an upgrade. It's been in the family since 1999 and I had it since 2002...

So I go over her house and she comes outside and the first words out of her mouth were:

"Whose truck you got?"

I kind of frowned because the first thought through my head was "why can't it be mine???" but I simply said, "Ummmm, it's mine". She replied, "You didn't tell me that you got a new car". I kind of frowned again because...why do I have to tell ANYONE when I do something for myself? Was I supposed to get on the phone and call all my friends making a public service announcement that I had a new truck and did they want to see it? No. It's not necessary. You'll see it whenever we hang out or isn't that serious. She had this obvious look of disapproval on her face but again, I wasn't going to let her funky attitude ruin the evening. Mind you, she was fine...before she saw my truck.

So I'm having drinks last night with a mutual friend of ours and she becomes the topic of conversation because I asked if she had seen her yet since she'd been in town. Somehow the conversation segues into this:

"Yeah, you do have a new truck, huh?"

"Yeah, it's not that big a deal though but I like it!"

"Well (insert hating ass friend here) said that you can't afford that truck and she doesn't know why you bought it. But she was going on about some other things you were doing too that just didn't make sense lately so...yeah but she said that truck is too expensive for you and that with the recession going on that was a stupid purchase to make considering all the layoffs at your job and what not"

I get angry in a matter of milliseconds. My blood pressure instantly shot through the roof and my heartbeat became so loud I could feel it pulsating in my ears.

For real? You're gonna tell someone else what I can afford when you can barely afford your $1200 mortgage? I'm instantly livid because...we're SUPPOSED to be friends and this is what you are saying behind my back? 

But let's get to the facts of the truck will be paid off in 2011. Yes, in 2.5 years my truck will be paid off...I haven't been late on ANY car payments for as long as I've had car payments with ANY car. I've NEVER asked her for ANY money to pay ANY bills as long as she's known me...or anyone else for that matter. NO ONE HELPS ME PAY MY BILLS BUT ME.

Another fact...the layoffs at my job didn't commence until November; I didn't know they were going to happen UNTIL November. I bought my truck in August. But I guess she knows more about my employer's economic situation than I did and I do. Right. I didn't tell her that there were layoffs at my job until a couple weeks ago...yes, in December.

Another fact...I make more money than her....and she has no idea how much that is. But she can tell me what I can and can't afford? Right. No b*tch, YOU can't afford it so you are projecting. 

So the conversation trolls along as I sit in amazement at someone who I do not know anymore. Seven years of friendship...gone in a matter of minutes. Now I'm a fair person so I will talk to her about it but the likelihood of everything she said being true? Very likely. Like I said, in the last few years, she's become someone I don't even recognize anymore, due to her miserable lot in life.

She isn't happy with the amount of hours she has to work in order to keep her head above water...she wants to be in a relationship but doesn't feel the need to improve areas in her life that will make her more appealing to the opposite sex...she wants children but can't afford them right now. Nothing in her life is going her opinion.

I can give a TON of reasons she has to be happy though...for one...she's a homeowner and has been one for the last couple of years. She's 28 years old and owns a VERY nice house. Be happy that your sh*t isn't in foreclosure like so many other people's homes. Am I a homeowner? Nope. Am I jealous of her because of that? Of course not. I can have that too...if I really wanted it. I'm elated for her though...she doesn't have to deal with sorry azz Property Managers like me because I refuse to buy some property. So kudos to her.

After talking some more with the mutual friend, the friend says, "I hate to say it but I've grown to believe she's jealous of you...because you're happy despite the negative things that could keep you down right now".

Well, I'll be damned. If you're SUPPOSED to be my friend, why would you ever be jealous of me? And wouldn't you want to be happy for me? Apparently not. So she has to go because I didn't sign up for this and if there is one thing I hate almost as much as a liar, it's someone who is jealous of others...ESPECIALLY when they are jealous of something they too can have.

I had to get that off my chest so when I do speak to her it won't come out in a fit of rage...finishing my coffee now.

NOTE: I cannot list every event during our "friendship" here because it would turn into a novel, versus this semi-short blog. I don't randomly go around claiming people are jealous of me OR even hating on me. It has to either come out of their mouth first OR I have some evidence that supports my suspicions. In addition to my "speculations", more than one person who has been privy to seeing us interact with one another has asked me if she was jealous and me, giving her the benefit of the doubt, said no. Maybe I spoke too soon...while she is DEFINITELY miserable, there is something else going on here too...

Friday, December 19, 2008

7 lbs.

If you don't know why the movie is called Seven Pounds by the end, email me ( and I'll tell you. It was more than obvious to me by the end. But maybe that was JUST because I've written a full feature screenplay and I understand that sometimes stating the obvious...well, there is really no need for it when you are trying to get people to....FEEL.

In all my 29 years of living, I've NEVER cried during, after, or BECAUSE of a movie...Will Smith brought ACTUAL tears, not just puddles of water threatening to drop, down my cheeks as I sat through this movie piecing together what the hell was wrong with Ben Thomas. This movie was the EXACT personification of what paying it forward is in my mind....but more so in an atonement kind of way.

I don't want to tell too much of the movie but I read a review of it in the Creative Loafing that left me angry as hell at Curt Holman. I guess you have to allow yourself to reach a depth that is beyond the pitiful levels of humanity we experience on a daily basis. Maybe we all need to experience some form of catastrophe to TRULY appreciate life and the lives of others...or maybe we need to work on how much we value those closest to us.

I thought I Am Legend showcased the range of acting skills Will Smith possessed but this movie took his acting skills and placed them in the zone of Oscar....I promise you it did. Go see it and when you do, allow yourself to do nothing but sit there and FEEL....FEEL every emotion you can muster. Think about the love you have for those closest to you...your siblings...your significant other...your best friend...yourself. Just feel is all I can tell you to do when you watch this and then....after you just FEEL, tell me this movie was horrible. Then tell me it was a cinematic disaster with too many loose ends that got tied up too late...and I'll call you a liar.

This movie is simply for those who want to feel...if you just want to be entertained and this doesn't do it for you, go watch Four Christmases.

I FEEL there needs to be more movies like this that evoke true feeling...everything in life is not bells and whistles...sometimes there are thorns of reality that jab us here and there and that's what this movie was. I won't lie and say it was full of unicorns, happy thoughts, and fairies...on the was quite sad but it served its purpose well. It was the side of life no one looks at because it's so ugly...imagine the movie CRASH focusing on the life of one person and how they managed to deal with one event that drastically affected them and that's what Seven Pounds is.

Curt Holman said that Will Smith "was acting his heart out in practically nothing in particular"...for real Curt? This movie was nothing? Right. I'd like to see you write a better made me look at all the movies he reviewed in Creative Loafing and this clearly aloof individual doesn't give anything higher than 3 stars, which by the way is worth seeing, 2 stars being a don't bother...which is what he gave Seven Pounds. He also said key information was withheld from the movie...well, if we knew what the deal was from the beginning, it would be the equivalent of reading the end of a novel before you read any other part of the book.

He probably ABHORS Usual Suspects, I'm sure of it. Memento he'd probably give 5 stars to, which is the rating for must see.

I think the emotions that the director, writer, and actor wanted the audience to feel are placed the end. No one in the theater got up as soon as it was obvious the movie was over...we all sat a little longer than awe.

And if you are a FEELING person, you will too...

The Way It Is... that the show is NOT focused on Keyshia but more so on Neffie (Nefeteria, her sister).

There are times when I'm watching the show and I forget that this is a reality show ABOUT KEYSHIA because for the 21-24 minutes it is on, a good 12-20 minutes of the damn show is about Neffie...and 'nem. Who is "'nem"? Oh you know, Keyshia and Neffie, EX-crackhead (which I STILL believe she is on SOMETHING because of that j-cat behavior) momma, Frankie.

I want to wholeheartedly believe that Keyshia REALLY feels and thinks this show is about her but something tells me that she gave this reality show idea a thumbs up to KEEP her momma off the streets and that well as, keep her sister from heading down the same road because even though Neffie wasn't VISIBLY on no drugs, you can't tell me that ONLY likka contributes to her deterioration as a human being.

Far be it from me to appear high and mighty...because I am not but I don't care where I am or what I am doing you will NEVA hear me on TV talking about how my sister made it possible for the entire family to go out of town to see one her concerts (read: Keyshia footed the bill) and I'm dancing with no panties on...doing the splits. Yes, this heffa Neffie, who has 4 children (is it 3 or 4? don't really care...), was on TELEVISION doing the splits...with no panties. I was even more confused and wanting to donkey kick her in the head when I noticed that she had a bra took out the time to put on a bra with a halter dress but you didn't figure you needed panties too? Oh're trash and you have 3 daughters that will think it's fine and dandy to be trash like you.

But your mom...Frankie...well, I can't be all that mad when THAT'S your mother...


Frankie is on the left...lemme find a better picture of that Godforsaken little troll of a second...


okay, that's a little better...naw not really but you get the point...I'd cry in my bed at night if these were the people I was stuck with calling them my family...just horrible more often then not.

Just look at Keylolo...she outshines her family by a million and five watts...she looks out of place. Even when she was a Town Ripper...she looked out of place standing next to them. Ok, maybe she wasn't a hood bunny but that was certainly how she portrayed herself when she first came out...who wears beaters to damn near EVERY photoshoot? I'm MORE than elated she grew out of that phase because I most certainly was gearing up to strangle her with one of them damn beaters if she did another shoot with them on like she ain't got no better clothes to wear than beaters and jeans...

keyshia cole Pictures, Images and Photos

and those aren't even her worst photos of her beginning celebrity...I still loved her little ghetto ass back then BUT...look at her letting her beauty shine through NOW...boy do I love when people go from ashy to classy!

keyshia Pictures, Images and Photos

Keyshia Cole Pictures, Images and Photos

Yes, she's come a mighty LONG way since this:
Keyshia Cole Pictures, Images and Photos

I feel some kind of obligation, being from Oakland to give HER a chance but her family? I pass on those crazy I can only hope that next season, The Way It Is, is about Keyshia. I mean, give us a reality show but you don't tell us nothing about Jeezy...oh you thought we forgot about yall?


Girl stop! You tried to throw us off the track by that little 2 minute segment of Polow flirting with you and while I would PREFER you get it IN to the utmost with that fine specimen of meat (looka here!)
polow da don Pictures, Images and Photos does not negate the fact that you proposed to Jeezy and he aint nowhere up and through your reality show. I want answers...and now. Can we take a couple shows away from Neffie and her deranged, lunatic boyfriend to get in THAT part of your life? The public wants to know The Way It Is on Jeezy. Okay, maybe I just want to know but you have a obligation to tell do have a reality show. is my bargaining...if you give us the juice on you and Jeezy, I won't make a ruckus about you smashing off with a glass of mimosa in your hand...yeah, I seen you witcho crazy ass DRINKING AND DRIVING. Don't nobody drink orange juice out a flute, negro. Well nobody Black...and of your caliber unless you just trying to act brand new.

But back to the serious side of things...The Way It Is...if we are blessed (said loosely, said loosely while shaking my head) with another season, I want MORE Keylolo, less Neffie and nem.

The End.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


So this morning I get into this ridiculously loud and unnecessary argument with The it worth the arguing? No...

And what was it over? This stupid blog I wrote yesterday:

He asked me why I didn't tell him I wrote it...well for one, he's subscribed. You get an alert when I post a blog so I don't need to tell you anything. Granted, he was in the blog and the rule is if I put him in a blog, alert him so he can be one of the first people to read it but I KNEW it was something we ALREADY discussed and I didn't want to be like "Go read it" and cause more discussion on something that WOULD turn into a "heated debate".

So he's standing over my shoulder reading my reply I'm writing to a reader...reading what I've typed outloud....*sigh*....only to stop mid sentence, call me an asshole AGAIN and then turn and walk away.

Ummmm, no one asked you and how rude!!!!

So I stopped typing and I walk over to where he is to explain to him WHY I'm validated in catching a little attitude because of the tellers negligence since he wants to continue to call me an asshole at will. It turns into a shouting match which my neighbors probably thought was going to escalate into domestic violence because when we stopped talking was when I realized HOW quiet it was. I was kind of embarrassed for yelling like a damn fool over something so asinine.

But after all my yelling and calming down, I realized that many people have jobs but have no intentions of doing them well at all EVEN THOUGH they are being paid to do them. My job gets done at the end of the day so how I do it is of no consequence...except for those few times when I NEED to interact with our Clients, Consultants, and Owners. Then I adjust how I work in an effort to cater to them within reason. If I eff up at work and it's because of something I SHOULD have been paying attention to, I take the L and do it moving. I can count on one hand how many times I've made  mistake I'm not perfect but I have VERY LITTLE room for error in my position so efficiency is prided far more than how quickly it can get done.

And that was my entire point I was trying to make...if the damn teller was taking his job seriously, I wouldn't have had to get all testy in the first place. Cause and effect people...cause and effect. LOL

My coffee cup is damn near empty and that was just me wanting to ramble...thank you for reading this unnecessary shat LOL

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I Love Cooking!

One of my dreams of grandeur that are on their way to be being fulfilled is being able to do nothing but write all day...and cook at will.

There are three different kinds of food lovers...those who LOVE to EAT, those who LOVE to COOK, and those who LOVE to EAT and COOK. I fit comfortably in the middle...


I'm that cook who will slave in a kitchen all day (or night) and be simply content with the smiles that emanate from the people stuffing their faces. 

I grew up with a mother who was from Florida and a father from California. For some odd reason, my father's cooking always tasted like some Creole/Cajun food...spicy and full of flavor. My mom's food was the toned down version of my granny's but as time has passed, her food tastes JUST like Granny's! I was visiting my parents one day and I was shocked that my mom's food didn't taste like "mommy food" tasted like that real deal Holyfield grandma food...probably because she IS a grandmother now, getting old and just don't care no long as it tastes good.

I vowed from about the age of 18 that if I was going to cook something, I was going to do my best for it to come out like that soulful grandma cooking. 

I had a boyfriend between the 18 and 21 years of my life that I used to cook for...he was my guinea pig but he loved it...and so did his raggedy friends who used to come and eat my damn leftovers when I'd go to work. I was cooking alright back then but it wasn't until I moved to Atlanta that I PERFECTED my skills. I had a LARGE concentration of guy friends when I first moved here and their favorite thing to tell me was "Females from California can't cook; all yall know how to do is be pretty. Go sit down somewhere and let the Southern belles do what it do in the kitchen". I was offended, to say the least, because some of the shat they praised from their Southern Belle homies tasted like straight box food...and it was. 

I come from a family that ONLY makes 7up Pound cake...from scratch. Macaroni and Cheese DID NOT have Velveeta in was loaded with Cheddar (cause its betta), butter, and some other ingredient I had yet to figure out...AND IT WAS BAKED, not made in a damn pot and served. And greens...they weren't LOADED with sugar.

So I stepped up to the plate and showed them that NOT ALL Cali girls fixate on appearance...some of us can cook too.

I still didn't have that granny taste to my food...until I fell in love with the Food Network!!! Lord Jeebus!!!! That channel has been my saving grace several times!!! Because of that station, I have had the pleasure of stealing Gina and Pat Neely's recipes and creating magic in my kitchen! I don't follow ALL the directions though...I take what I think would enhance what I already know and make it my own. As a result of THAT....I made THE BEST turkey I've EVER tasted since my dad's friend slow roasted his turkey in the backyard with sausages stuffed all in it...I soaked that baby in this doctored up brine for 8 hours and then I rubbed it down in this BBQ rub...cooked it for 4 hours and it looked like I fried that bad boy! IT was the BEST part of my couple days off work during Thanksgiving! I made some greens, baked mac & cheese, and some dressing too. It was all delicious!

So since I got a couple days off next week for Christmas, I'm going to make a ham, some more greens, cornbread stuffing and some spiced sweet potato gratin. I found the recipe for the sweet potatoes here: 

I am in love with that blog!!!! Granted there is some stuff on there that I can only test drive on myself because all of my friends aren't that adventurous with their taste buds but I'm so excited to try them potatoes out!!!!

I'm about to go doctor my coffee up with some egg nog as I think about my menu for eats next week...too bad I didn't bring that peanut rum to work to spice my nog and coffee up LOL 

P.S. - this is EXACTLY how my turkey looked after it was done baking to perfection:

Deep fried turkey Pictures, Images and Photos

Monday, December 15, 2008

What Does It Mean to Be Grown?

My mom called me this morning and said the following:

"I have an idea about something for you to write about. Write about what it means to be grown. Just because you are an adult, doesn't mean you are grown. Being grown means you are responsible"

So I will concede to her wishes and write about what it means to be grown.

Technically, anyone who is an adult is considered to be "grown". Although, when you insert the word RESPONSIBILITY into the equation, it can change some people's definition of what they believe the word "grown" to be. Because I know my mother, I know EXACTLY what she is referring to when she says that just because you are an adult, it doesn't make you grown. I had this conversation with my dad a while back, who is FAR more technical than my mother and he gets irritated when people say things like "I'm a grown adult" because he says you are stating the obvious. Physically, yes you would be; mentally, maybe not so much.

Regardless of how you were raised, there comes a time in your life when you will need to be 100% self-sufficient. When my mother was talking about being grown, she was referring to this. Unfortunately, not everyone reaches that plateau in life where they do not NEED to go to someone to help them take care of themselves. What? An adult who needs help taking care of thyself? happens.

I was talking to a friend the other day and they were pretty much tearing someone else a new one because they were 30 and their parents STILL "supported them". Did that mean they still lived with their parents? No, but their parents paid their car note, rent, utilities, and anything else they couldn't manage to pay themselves...even though they are a GROWN ADULT...and had a full-time job. Believe it or not, you can be an adult and not be grown. When my mother was talking to me, she was referring to doing all the adult things in life that are NORMAL, without the constant help of your parents and/or whoever normally took care of you...when you were child.

So what does it mean to be GROWN?

I always viewed a grown person as one who:

- paid their own rent

- paid their own car note

- paid their own car insurance

- bought their own groceries

- kept all their utilities on

- paid their own cell phone bill

regardless of having to eat Top Ramen and/or rice for breakfast, lunch, and dinner...

Many times, I got into it with "friends" over this subject because they relied on their parents/guardians to take care of these things for them...a few called me a hater and I laughed...a few said I was just jealous and wished someone would take care of me and I laughed. The point is, they were salty because they KNEW these are things their adult azz SHOULD be doing but were just privileged enough to not HAVE TO do it or do a half ass job of it because SOMEONE was bound to save them.

Now, if you have someone you can convince to do these things for your grown azz, hey, more power to you but if not, REALLY look at what you are doing with the money you do receive...if you have a FULL-TIME job that pays pretty decent, why can't you take care of yourself??? Does your irresponsibility come into play because you know you have that safety net of someone elses income?

I would stare in amazement at my Evil Cousin and her friends because these heffas ALWAYS managed to have money for a new pair of shoes to hit the club in and a snazzy little dress from Lohmans to floss in but no money to pay their rent. I was also dumbfounded as to how they had money to blow during homecoming weekend but no money to keep their lights and cell phone on. I was thoroughly blown when they had money for manicure and pedicures but no money to put food in their refrigerator. Am I still hating? No.

As a GROWN ADULT, you have priorities and some of those things are mentioned above so if you can manage to take care of ALL of those things without asking OR coming across so pitiful to your parents that they just stick the money in your account, well THEN you are grown. Until then, accept the fact that you are a man or woman child (yes are Mowgli*) who is STILL very much dependant on someone elses source of income for your survival.

Mom, I don't know if that's what you wanted me to write but in the event Tenniel or Rodney reads this, I didn't want them coming after me with pitchforks and knives because I know what you wanted me to REALLY say...LOL

*Mowgli - the mancub who needed constant rescuing in Jungle Book...he wasn't very self-sufficient, remember?

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