Tuesday, November 11, 2008

So I'm A Lesbian Stripper Now...Yeah, That's Me

The photo to the left is me and my friend Candy at a club in Atlanta. Now...I know you are probably busy staring at those two bulging pieces of flesh us women refer to as breasts. You can't help but look I know, but I have a question...when did me wanting to give the sweater puppies some air insinuate that I was a stripper, porn star, lesbo? I know, I know....maybe it is because they look FAKE  and my friend is sitting awfully close to me but let me assure you...they are 100% NATURAL Grade DD and I haven't left The Land of Peen to search through the green pastures of Berber Eating. I grew those thru years of physical maturity, thank you very much and my sexuality has not been tainted in the least bit.

So am I just ASSUMING someone mistook me for a stripper/porn star? No. I actually received the following email from someone on MySpace in regards to their line of work:

"Hi, I'm (***), I make swim suits and outfits for Porn Stars, Cherokee D'Ass, Buffy the Body, all the Lesbian & Straight Girl Strippers in Los Angeles...I'll ship your outfit to you. I have been in this game 20 yrs. I make sexy one of a kind swim suits & dresses with matching thongs, cut up jerseys, alter your jeans that don't fit right around your hips, ass, and waist....what ever you need I make!! And my Man can stone out your High Heel Shoes, Jeans, Swim suits, etc. with Swarovski Crystal. 

(***) ***-****


pause....NO REALLY...PAUSE!

YOU LOVE MY WORK? What work? I don't strip and I damn sure aint created no porno that's out there circulating so what in the hell is she talking about? Is this a case of mistaken identity? Is this what happens when you decide to give the girls some air? What in the flaming hell?

Now I know some smart azz is gonna say "Well, you shouldn't wear stuff like that if you don't want anyone to say anything to you"...my response to you before you even waste your time typing that asinine comment is "Shut the hell up". It's as silly as telling a woman not to get upset if she wears some tight pants and a man touches her azz. No...no one gets a reserved right to feel you up BECAUSE you choose to accentuate what God gave you...just like you don't get a reserved right to assume my tits are fake and/or that I am a working girl/stripper/porno star.

Now...I'm nowhere near offended. I actually laughed because I normally don't dress like this but hey, I'm 28 years old, soon to be 29 in 11 days, single, no children, and I'm actually comfortable in the skin I'm in so....why not? I plan to have this body (or better) for as long as possible so I figure why not take advantage of the fact that I can wear certain stuff that looks like I have to suck in all night so my wobbly bits don't break loose? I said look like...I wasn't sucking in at all that night.

So as crass as it sounds...maybe I should take it as a compliment? Maybe?

17 points of view:

a black girl who did date said...

I actually just fell out of my chair!!!!! LOL!!!!

Beezy said...

Preach for the (naturally) big-boobied sistas everywhere. I appreciate my natural DDs too and I won't let anyone make me feel bad for having them. I even shot my doctor down for trying to talk me into having a reduction. LOL

House427 said...

"Well, you shouldn't wear stuff like that if you don't want anyone to say anything to you"

Honsetly Syn, you're a beautiful woman with or without those "SPEED BUMPS" showing...LOL...It's your world, so do what'cha like, slim!!!

Mr. Smart Guy said...

I'd take a compliment and keep on rolling. You know who you are - and as long you ignore those who hate on you, you'll be all good, attention whore... LOL. ;)

jeanette nicole* said...

Literally LOL so hard that my Senior came over and asked what was so funny. I'd say take it as a compliment, haha! :)

Chanel said...

Seems like either a case of mistaken identity or she just saw a young black woman in a sexy outfit and took her chances-she could have very well thought you were a video girl, which isn't really a diss at all since she was just going by pics. I wouldn't be offended...you know how those pesky myspacers are lol You look great, you do not look like a skrippah, porn start nor a lesbot. eh, to hell with it. I would've laughed too lol

ChiChi10 said...

MySpace sometimes = idiots with computers. I would have CDFU, also.

And who said your boobs look fake? A glance can tll you they ain't. Them fake boobs are too...round-ish? in certain areas. Ionknow. LOL

8thlight said...

I think it was a combination of the posture of you & your friend along with the big tattoo. lol

suga said...

I once put up a pic when my stomach was flat and my hips were banging and I recieved a lot of unwanted attention. Since I didnt like the attention, I just shrugged it off as something that I shouldn't do on myspace and took the pic down.

Assertive Wit said...

@ suga: I'm not bothered by anything anyone is saying to me on Myspace about this picture. I just thought it was funny that I would be perceived as someone who works in the "entertainment" industry because I've never gotten any comments/messages like that before.

Now if someone was being a smart azz about their comments then THAT would rub me the wrong way because there would be some hidden agenda there.

Assertive Wit said...

@ 8thlight: I didn't even take that monster tatt into consideration...good observation LOL

this isn't even the pic that is on MySpace though; I have up one where I was taking a group photo and I cut myself out of it so you can't see anything but me and...the fleshy parts LOL

Assertive Wit said...

@ Beezy: DD's aren't that big to be having a talk about a reduction; tell your doctor to go sit down somewhere LOL

I've gotten mainly positive comments about my photos, which is fine. It's the people who try to be momma that I wanna smack in the face...don't tell me what I should and shouldn't be doing with my cleave. You worry about you and I'll worry about all of this over here...which I've pretty much had to tell a couple people LOL

Assertive Wit said...

@ Mr. Smart Guy: I'm gonna smacketh you in the face LOL

Assertive Wit said...

@ Chanel: thanks LOL I lost some weight and decided to put on one of the many things that had been sitting in my closet collecting dust...this is what I came out with. You'd think that some folks would high five me and be happy I don't look all marshmellowy, right? Ok, I didn't really look like a marshmellow but that's certainly how I felt. But you know, as they say...there is always one who has to say something negative to detract from your shine. Seriously, no one has to like it cause I LOVE it! ;)

Craigjc said...

Das crazy. Anybody knows just because you have large breasts don't mean you're a stripper. The pic is cool.


Brilliance Is A Habit (c) Unknown said...


OMG, I can't believe this happened. lol That's was hella bold. He totally needs to be fired for that one. lol

Blogger said...

I've just downloaded iStripper, so I can watch the best virtual strippers strip-tease on my taskbar.

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