Friday, October 03, 2008

Throbbing Piggies, Looking Like I'm 16, and Sexy Deo

I was supposed to start walking to work Monday but I just couldn't manage to drag myself out of the bed before 7 this week, until this morning. I woke up at 5:30 am because I fell asleep to the smell of Midnight underneath "his" armpits last night uber early. I don't know why but ever since I was a kid, if someone had on deo that smelled AMAZING, I could fall asleep right in their armpits. I used to make a habit of sitting next to my dad and falling asleep on him because of that damn Old Spice deo. Then I got a boyfriend in high school who wore THE EXACT same deo and I would fall asleep on him the same way. No difference with this "current" guy. Although, the deo smells SO good, he has even been smelling himself and asking me, "I smell sexy, huh?"

As funny as that is when he asks, he really does smell every bit of sexy as he really is. Damn that TAG deo.

Anywho, I get up at 5:30, reply to a few emails, and figure, hell since I'm up, might as well walk to work today. I was out of the house by 6:59; arrived at work at 8:02. I live a good 2.5 miles away from home and I can walk 6 miles in 1 hour so why did it take me an hour to walk 2.5 miles? Because who wants to get to work sweating like they are 500 lbs and sitting in a 102 degree sauna? Ehhhh, not I. So I do the sexy stroll all the way to work jammin to my iShuffle.

It had not occurred to me that although I am 1 month shy of being 29, I still look like a teenager. I'm going to take Clothes for $200 as to why someone would think I was a youngin. A teenage boy (had to be no more than 16) winked at me and another hollered this morning. One looked like the grit and grime you see when you need to clean your engine...horrible. I told him, "I'm good" to which he replied, "Dang. You aint' had to say that but you still fine though". I figured I could smile just to be nice and say "Thank you". That made his little day. That's how I knew he was a young buck because a grown man would have went into some foolish speech about why I need to talk to him. No I don't. Beat it up outta my face fool. The other youngin was cute as a button but 5. And my name aint R. Kellina. DECLINE.

Another man laughed when I told him that I was NOT on my way to the high school that was around the corner but on my way to work. As if I had to lie about my travels in the early morning. I figured I'd hit him with some "grown woman" speech and said, "In an effort to preserve my gas, I've chosen to walk to work"....he still laughed at me and told me to have a nice day.

Being dehydrated as hell I went into the gas station store to grab some water and even Habib thought I was a teenager. He also thought I stole a shrimp Cup of Noodles. Hold on playa. This here is my lunch and you WILL NOT charge me for it because you see me taking it out of my purse so I can reach my wallet. He asked where I was going and BECAUSE he said it with a smile I replied, "to work". He didn't believe me and even had the nerve to say, "You look so young". Dammit! Can I live???

I swear to you all I have on is a fitted v-neck hoody, some straight leg jeans, and some mid-ALIFES. I have my olive green messenger bag and my hair is in a bun. I have on medium size hoops and NO makeup; just Khiel's lip balm. Really? This makes me look 16? I'm damn near 30. I must call my mother and father and thank them for their gene's....

Now I must figure out a way to soothe my throbbing piggies because I cut my toenails too low last night. The minions will have to deal with me walking around the workhouse in my pink and green frog socks. Out of coffee...sayonara b*tches! Oh, enjoy your Friday!!!! 

7 points of view:

Ms_Slim said...

A teenager, huh? I guess in addition to gas shortages, folk are running rampant and losing their minds too, no? LOL
(I had to get you back for hating on my she-ro Psylocke. Take THAT, 'Nita! HA!)

Walking 'round in your socks, too? You have such gall. For real. hahahahahaaaa

suga said...

Damn Syn. Times are that hard that ur stealing cup a noodles?
Stop it. You're making me look bad. I'll moneygram u 50 cents if u need me to.

Assertive Wit said...

I aint steal no damn noodles. Beat it fool.

Assertive Wit said...

as for you up there young slim...aint nobody lost they mind...men AND boys can respect a fine YOUNG tenda when they see one...learn about it and pray you have as cute a face as mine when you looking at 30 peeking round the corner, yah hear? get it? got it? good.

and I walk around in my socks cause I'm a boss and that's what I do...you can learn about that too, youngin.

bighouseboy427 said...

Hey Ms.Monster, I'm just checkin' in slim.....lol

8thlight said...

I'm feeling that outfit description. Very nice style. I figured you for a dressy gal. lol

ChiChi said...

I still get the teenager/you look young shit, but I just stopped being one like two hours ago. LOL I hope I still get that when I'm hitting 30.

Count them blessings and call the rents AGAIN, STAT!

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