Wednesday, October 01, 2008

My Muse Is Gone...

muse
a. A guiding source
b. A source of inspiration

I have been told on several occasions that I was someones muse. Each time it feels just as weird as the first time hearing it because in my life, I've only had one muse. I remember what I felt when I realized I needed to feed off of this persons energy to continue with what I was trying to accomplish. They made me BELIEVE in what I was doing and trying to accomplish. The bad thing about it though is that because they are your source of inspiration, if things ever sour between you, whether it be for a few days, months, or years, the inspiration dies and so does whatever you were working on.

I often look at that "work" I was so intently submerged in and wonder if I can get another muse to inspire me to complete it and I know that cannot happen. It has to be that same muse. Sometimes I get angry as I stare at my unfinished project because I wish I could have gotten through it without a muse but it is a work of art in itself that only that muse could have inspired.

I realized that I would have to develop a certain level of closeness and trust with someone to even reach that level of inspiration again. My muse would listen as though my voice was music to their ears and then inspire me to create more. Truly phenomenal person, that muse is/was. I felt invincible as long as I had an email/text/IM or phone call from my muse. Invincible in my work, that is.

This "work" I speak of will one day be finished and come to fruition for the rest of the world to partake in but I know I can't do it without my muse....

2 points of view:

Ms_Slim said...

Can't say that I have a muse in such a strong sense but I can feel you on some level.

For me, the bulk of my inspiration is needed in my poetry. Just about every piece Ive written is guided for/from another person and that person acts as either a negative or positive form of inspiration depending on the mood of the poem. If things change between me and the person the poem is geared for and the poem is still "Under Construction", it's damn near impossible for me to return to that work on that same level or the direction that I was going for. When this happens (and it has), I'll either switch up the direction and feel of the poem altogether to coincide with my current feelings/situtation (because if I write it how I originally intended and dont FEEL that way at present when I go back to it, it isnt as strong at all)....or I just drop it altogether and start a new one. It all depends....

Brilliance Is A Habit (c) Unknown said...

Next time try to find a muse that is inanimate. That way you'll always have one.

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