Friday, October 17, 2008

Irritating Corny People..Die Yesterday

What I'm about to say has NOTHING to do with this blog but I thought it was funny. I read this young lady on blogspot that goes by the name of Savvy Fatty...she's hilarious, to say the least. Have a look at her posting from yesterday...I bout near died on my desk from laughing:

Anywho, I commented on the blog and she responded to my comment. She shortened my blogger name though to....(prepare yourself, because I SO wasn't prepared)....ASSWIT. Some people might have been offended but I actually laughed out loud. I don't think she meant it offensively at all but I guess sometimes my "wit" does come across as me being an ass so I'll take that. Thanks young Savvy. LOL

Ok, real quick....I can't stand corny people who either don't know they are corny or ATTEMPT to be witty but fail horribly BECAUSE they are SO damn corny. I PURPOSELY close my glass door because I am doing my best to keep this corny muthastanka from just walking in my office trying to spread his it's funny. Why did I feel the need to tell you my door is glass? Because I wanted you to know I can see who is entering my office AT ALL TIMES so the pain of KNOWING he's headed into my office just kills off any happy thoughts I was currently having. All I can think is, when is this Bozo gonna rise up outta my office so I can get back to MY sanity? It never fails....he always has something stupid as hell to say when he turns in his timesheet on the 15th and the last day of the month.

"Did I win a prize for being the first person to turn in my timesheet?"
No the hell you did not. Beat it chump. I DO NOT want to hear this question or some dumb rendition thereof EVERY time you turn in your timesheet. No, you did not win a trip to Vegas. No you did not win a cruise to Jamaica and if you KEEP asking if you won something, I'll give you a knuckle sandwich. That's what the hell you can win. Moron.

"So you're in charge today since no one else is in?"
No one else is here yet because it's 7:45 am, you corny sack of shat. Get to your desk before I spit on you. 

(as he stands outside killing himself with a cigarette) You sure are in early today. What's the occasion? Behind in your work? Hardy, har, har!"
There is no special occasion. I usually get in early but you never see me because you work upstairs and I work downstairs. Behind in my work? Oh you should know all about that. You take like 10, 15-20-minute smoke breaks a day and leave at 4/4:30 every day. Get the hell out of here before I start documenting your smoking breaks and take it out of your pay, you damn irritant.

You telling me you he wouldn't irritate the hell out of you? coffee is cold now.

7 points of view:

Anonymous said...


I had an idea of who it was by the second quotation but the 3rd one sealed it. I found myself providing the area around the coffee pot with pseudo laughter for the past 3 summers due to the man who shares my first name. That man's sense of humor is so skewed, I don't understand how his wife can take it. She must think it's cute. The only one I think that actually will make me laugh on occasion due to his sporadic blunt comments is Mr. Greer...and Dimitry's anarchy sometimes creaks a chuckle out of me from time to time...or did in that case...haaaaa...those were the days...keep your head up AssWit lol

....not Anonymous...u should know who this is lol...

Ms_Slim said...

AssWit made me laugh.

I think everyone has an invisible line in front of them that when crossed means that theyve taken things too damn far. Mister Corn took that corniness shyt too damn far AND he got to the point of trying to have overly dry humor that coulda beene outright offensive, "behind on your work? hahaha" eff outta here. I'd have told him about himself....

AssertiveWit said...

"Anonymous" you can't be name droppin!!!! Incognegro is the name of the game, youngsta! LOL But yes the two you mentioned have HUMOR, not CORN. BIG difference. Granted it might be dry humor (read: David Letterman) but that's still funny at times. Corny is just annoying more often than not...especially if I don't like you already because you are just silly as hell ALL THE DAMN TIME. But you already know...

I'm sure you're having the time of your life where you on the other hand, ehhh, not so much being stuck in this here office. Stay outta trouble boy! I know where yah daddy live! LOL

AssertiveWit said...

Ms Slim, you are right about that invisi you said early...habitual line stepper

Anonymous said...

Trust me I would have kept to the "incognegro code" if I thought up interesting enough code names but then confusion might have clouded the joke and I couldn't risk that lol....time of my Mid-Terms lol...but this week they're over sooo...yeah lol house party tonight whooooo!!! lmao...


Naturally Alise said...

You sure you don't work with me? Cornballs make my tummy hurt, and I stay nauseous around my job...


It's ya girl, SavFat!

You KNOOOWWWWWW I didn't mean the name to be offensive.
I have a case of Professional Nickname Generatoring Tourette's. I give EVERYBODY I know a nickname and I just liked the sound of AssWit. (no diss)

Thanks for the link luhvin', too!

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