Monday, October 20, 2008

Don't Be Jeally Mom

I was reading this article on CNN this morning called:
 "Why moms get jealous when dads bond with kids"
and I couldn't help but think about my mom. 

I write FAR more about my dad than my mother because for one, if my dad EVER stumbles on my blogs, he won't be offended by ANYTHING I've written. He doesn't get offended by the truth. My mother on the other hand...ehhhh, not so much. She'd think I was "picking" on her and making her look bad. So I steer clear of mentioning too much of my life as it pertains to her. But this...I think she'd laugh more than anything, IF she ever read it.

As I read the article, the beginning of it was talking about how a mom had been trying to get her son to go to sleep and it wasn't working. The dad comes in says some silly shat like, if you don't go to sleep, I'm going to talk like a troll all day tomorrow. The mom, knowing her son loves that stupid voice thinks to herself that her husbands parenting is gonna fail because the little boy LOVES the voice so much, he'll WANT to hear it. WRONG. Little boys takes his ignant azz straight to sleep. Mom: 0, Dad: feelings hurt, dad: just glad everyone can go to sleep now.

I never understood (when I was younger) why my mom would be PISSED that she'd be yelling at us all day to do stuff, to the point where she'd sit down and be crying and then get even more pissed when my dad would come home and we'd decide to listen to someone and sit our crazy azzes down somewhere and stop acting like wild animals. Ok, that's an exaggeration but you get the point. Now that I am older, I understand. It wasn't that we NEVER listened to her, because 8 times out of 10, we did. But my dad would say something and 10 times out of 10, we listened. Maybe she thought we liked him better, I don't know. Truth be told, we liked her better; she didn't beat the stuffing out of us. LOL

Give you an example of us and our shenanigans. 

One day she was telling us to do something and we heard her but of course being kids, she had to repeat herself a few times. We were playing and interrupting an episode of He-Man was not an option. We were going to do what she asked. Just as soon as we finished re-enacting our episode. Well, we didn't get a chance to because she came storming in the room with a belt. All three of us looked at that belt and fell out her face. Me and my sister couldn't have been any older than 9 and 10 so my brother was about 4. His retardo azz did everything we did so we laughing meant him taking it to the 12th power. Of course she doesn't understand why we're laughing but we looked at that belt and was like does she really think she is gonna hurt us with that?

She had grabbed a plastic belt off her dress to whoop us with (insert laughter here). It wasn't ALL plastic but it was fabric AND plastic. She wasn't gone hurt nobody but herself. So we laughed. She whacked us with it a couple times and our stupid azzes just laughing and carrying on while she trying to administer a beat down. She finally gives up and says the words we NEVER wanted to hear...they crushed our souls immediately and made us cry like she HAD beat us with a REAL belt:

I'm telling your father. Let's see you laugh when he pull out his belt.

There was no laughing there. Sheer terror. So needless to say we got a big size 12 put in our azzes (figuratively speaking) when he got off work for disrespecting her by laughing in her face while she was administering discipline. He even felt the need to rub salt in our lacerations by saying if we would have just got up off our behinds the first time she told us to do something, she wouldn't have had to even go get that little belt or eventually call him and tell him we weren't acting like we had any sense.

All three of us got tagged something good and yes, we learned our lesson. Do you think she was happy? No. She was still pouting. And why? Because my dad's beatdown worked and hers didn't. 

There are plenty more stories where this one comes from but as it stands that article created some nostalgia for me while drinking my coffee. Boy, I sure am glad I'm grown now and as much as I look forward to having some Irritants of my own some day, I'm glad they aint here right now. LOL

2 points of view:

ChiChi said...

I can honestly say my mama was never jealous of my dad in this regard because she'd slap that ass to the floor herself without any problems. Or she would just cuss you out to wear you felt like doodoo. *Sigh* A tad bit verbally abusive...

My dad, on the other hand, we had to do some shit for his ass to get maybe set the house on fire. LOL I kid...

Diamond~Star said...

Wow...I am in tears about the plastic-fabric belt.

I can't say much about my dad cause he was not around but my mom would put the wacking on me if I did something wrong, no questions asked. "Get your own switch, and no little one either!" I can look back at this and laugh now but then, I was scared as hell.

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