Thursday, September 18, 2008

Why Do You Need $1300 At 3 A.M.?

I'm actually drinking coffee at 3:37 pm because I drank a Coke this morning...I felt the need for caffeine AND carbonation. Nothing like a good morning belch, in my office where no one can hear my unladylike rudeness.

As I drink my coffee, I am wondering what in the John Blazes is wrong with people. Sometimes I think people live to be stupid. Maybe God thought it would be hilarious to put people on earth with retarded monkey brains. I really don't know but I'm starting to believe that theory I made up in my mind.

For instance, why would you text someone at 3 A.M. to ask for $1300...where they do that at? I'm from Oakland and you don't do that there. Not unless you gotta bail someone out of jail and you better pay it back or else you're getting shot on sight; I don't care if it is at your grandmothers funeral. You better jump in that casket or urn with her if you don't pay back that money. But that's getting off the point...

Why are you asking for THAT kind of money at THAT hour? Baffles my mind and it should make you go hmmmm too. It's especially weird when you normally only contact the person during those hours for a booty call. But it gets better...

Not only did this clown TEXT about in obscenely inappropriate amount of money at an insanely inappropriate time of day/night, he told the MOST ridicul (shortened version of ridiculous) lie...that the $1300 was for a WATER BILL. A water bill where? In Guantanamo Bay? For the entire county? Shut up you fool. Just shut up with this ridicul lie. He then had the nerve to wrap up his ridiculousness with a bow and TEXT this message: "I don't think we should talk anymore". ARE YOU SERIOUS? First of all, the two people weren't even "talking". He'd call her and beg her to come over and abuse him; she'd oblige and then go on her merry way. When did that become "talking"? You clown. Secondly, are you going to choose now to show your true colors? Had she said "Sure, my favorite Abusee, I'll give you that $1300 you need", would he have called off their "situation"? I think not. Oh so you mad now? You mad she wouldn't come up off a stack and three bills out the Johnny Rocket blue? For real? You're not a clown; you're an idiot. But...I suppose he had no use for her abusing him any further since there was no money involved. I don't get it though....randomly asking for money was never part of their arrangement.

Is there no etiquette on amounts of money to NOT ask for? I could have sworn there was. And when did it become okay for a man to EVER ask a woman for that kind of money? Should a woman ask? No, but we could get away with it a LOT easier than if a man would; we are the "lesser and weaker" creature here...right? Apparently not, since this buffoon had to call the homie for some ends. Which is probably why Danny STOLE $1000 (plus fees I incurred, which made it total $1500) from me because he KNEW I wouldn't give it to him OR let him borrow it. But that's an entirely different blog. Back to this situation...

The truth of the matter is, the woman could have loaned even given him the money. Would she? Hell no. She knows better than to do the fool and ask ANYONE for that kind of money so it should be understood that bet nobody ask her for that kind of money...whether its 3 A.M. or not.

Seriously, if this is part of "dating", I'd rather not. I'm out of coffee. Sayonara.

3 points of view:

Gabby B said...

This is beyond hilarious! And he is beyond out of line! How does a water bill ever amount to $1300 and why was he just noticing it was off at 3 a.m.

The abusee seems fishy!

Assertive Wit said...

Because that money wasn't for a water bill. Any fool can see that. I wish he had come up with a better lie just for the sake of comedy...but then we'd have one less thing to laugh at, huh?

Ms_Slim said...

Water bill, eh? Pretty clever....if he were in fact dealing with someone who had NO ties to LIFE and ADULTHOOD.

Ugh! Men make me sick these days. Im outta coffee too. smh...

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