Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Why Am I At Work? I'd Rather Be In Thy Bed...with Doritos

I actually like this blogging on blogger because it's free writing, no topic really thought out. Writing my rants out helps my blood pressure from shooting through the roof AND also keeps me from catching assault cases. Consider this your front row seat to watching a therapy session, starring moi. 

This morning...it was tough getting up. My alarm went off at 6 and I reprogrammed it to go off again at 7:30. 7:30 arrives and I just disarmed that sucker. I was getting up when I felt like it. Around 7:45, I started to feel bad for laying there like a bum, wishing my roof would slightly cave in so I could call in or at least not leave until after lunch. If I didn't have a desk full of billing, payroll (PAYDAY IS TOMORROW!!), and consultant/vendor payments to issue, I would have feigned illness.

While thinking of all the reasons in the world to turn back over and catch more sheep, my stomach starts acting up like squirrels are in there relay racing. Alas! A reason to stay home!!!! Unfortunately, it didn't last long and I had to admit it was due to my tablespoon of Chunky Monkey I ate at 2 in the morning. Still not a good enough reason to stay home...

I looked at my hair and almost had an excuse to stay home until it went back effortlessly into the hair clip. Damn you hair. There are days when I wish my roots would reach back to my slave ancestors and pull back some Cantcha Dontcha's. Today was one of those days. Instead I got, Girl Stop, Throw Some Water On It And Do It Moving. 

Any other morning, everything I picked up would be wrinkled. Today? Because I want to stay on my couch and listen to Transformers battle it out on Cartoon Network, everything my hand touches is somehow good enough to wear to work. Dagnabit! I WANT to lose this morning SO badly and I can't to save my life.

I even sat down at 8:06 to check my email and MySpace thinking I would look up and the clock would say 9 and I could just pretend I'm sick so I could call in. Unfortunately, my typing speed seemed to pick up and I was done responding and reading by 8:16 am. All of this and still no REAL reason to stay home....that is until I picked my purse up to sling on my shoulder.

I got the worst pain in the world!!!! Remember that episode of Martin where Gina got her head stuck in the rails of the bed? Well, this one time, when I was up to some midday scrumpin, I got my shoulder stuck between the headboard and the mattress. My screams of pain were misinterpreted as screams of glee. Needless to say, after my midday pounding, my shoulder finally was released from the death grip and I had this horrendous bruise that looked like someone broke my collarbone. THAT was the pain I experienced when picking up my purse...umm, due to some late night scrumping.

But I'm all dressed now and ready to go to work so I look at my clock, 8:45 and just suck it up. I did it moving to the work house and said hello to my piles of work. I am still currently searching for some heavy duty pain killer to soothe my shoulder....

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