Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Live YOUR Life...Not the Life Put in Front of You

Today's cup of coffee is black and strong...kind of like this man I know. The problem is, he doesn't really understand that strength is relative. What everyone else perceives strength to be usually has to do with the weight you can carry; whether that is emotional or physical. To be him, you HAVE to be mentally strong BUT after so many years I've grown to believe that developing what appears to be an inhumane amount of mental strength slowly deteriorates the fabric of your emotional and physical being. You breakdown...and when you do, who will be there to put you back together if you are no longer strong in any aspect?

I STRONGLY believe that this is why 2007 and 2008 has been the two years I've cried the most in my life. My mental strength needed a break because it was turning me into a robot. Never let them see you sweat and never let them see you cry. But am I not human too? Sometimes we get on the road of life that we create for ourselves, only to find out it really isn't the path we should be traveling. I've had to learn this REPEATEDLY the hard way. Why? Because I am hardheaded and I, like many others, am a little insane in trying to make my way work...when my way isn't 100% foolproof...just like everything else in life.

This part of life, I owe to my parents...but I would be wrong to place this weight completely upon them. Just because they taught me to believe in certain things and act a certain way, that doesn't mean that it is fundamental to WHO I AM as an individual. What works for one person does not always work for someone else. I strongly feel that we as adults forget that we have the choice to change our lives. So what if it is going against the grain? True happiness rests in finding out who you really are as a person, coping with it (no matter how ugly it is), changing it (if you really don't like what you see), and moving forward with life.  Some of us get stuck at the coping and changing....and it's like a roadblock in our lives that never seems to budge.

Sometimes we become slaves of what our parents have force fed us since we were babies. What is the fear in acknowledging that the people who love us most can in fact be dead azz wrong sometimes? They are human too. I look at my parents and when they were my age (28), they were pregnant with my little brother. They already had 2 children (me and my sister)....and they were experiencing the same things in life I am experiencing now. Except they were married.

There were days my mom would wake up and wonder where her life had gone...I can bet money on it. There were days my dad woke up and felt the routine of his life had become his life...

I look at those people and I know they did their best to raise me to be an upstanding citizen with what is considered good morals on a grand scale of things. Sometimes, the things I do, I know it would break their heart because they didn't raise me to believe in the things I say and do. But I am me. They are both 51 now and have lived a full life...and still have more to live...as they so choose. So if they are afforded the opportunity to live as they choose, why should that be stripped from me because I think on a different plane then they do? Because I think outside the box they encased me in as a child does not make me wrong...it makes me a better version of them.

My parents grew up in a time that was very different from my era and will be very different from my future children's era. That doesn't mean I can't take the basic principles they instilled in me and use them as my life's foundation. What it does mean is that my foundation CANNOT EVER be the instant replica of theirs because we are different people. I think some people are afraid to step away from the things their parents taught them because they think they are doing their parents an injustice. But how would you ever truly LIVE if you lived how someone else wanted you to?

Just because you were taught something doesn't mean it's right. It is a tough pill to swallow that your parents would teach you something wrong but always remember, they are human too. They might feel that it is what's best for you at the time being; it doesn't mean you have to adopt their thought pattern for the rest of your life. Think about the people who instill hatred of other people in their children. Everyone knows that's wrong to teach your children and will speak out against it. People grow up every day believing things simply based on the merit that "I was raised this way". That's self-imposed ignorance and you, as an adult, have a choice to learn something different.

The question is...will you choose to learn something different to make your life a better version of your parents or will you base your life EXACTLY on what they based their life on? If you are a person who reaches for the sky, you have to accept that dinosaur thinking, brings dinosaur results so you'll stay more grounded than you do lifted to your fullest potential....

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