Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Konnichiwa B*tches...and Coffee

My dear, sweet mother was laid off....I feel she took it PRETTY well, considering she is one of the MOST emotional human beings I know. I'm talking to her while writing this and sipping on my coffee and she is chattering about the wankers she's left behind at that horrid office. What has made my day in this conversation is how she is talking about this woman she swear is an alcoholic. My mother....is the pure essence of all things woman. Gossipping and all. LOL I asked her if she said something to the woman about her drinking and her reply:

"No. However, I did tell the Office Manager. Someone needed to know."

My mom is a snitch. hahhahahahhahaa I love it. She is now recanting her exit after being "let go"; how she took her cheeseburger and fries, tossed it in the trash and grabbed her little box while saying:

"Lemme get my shit and get the hell outta here"

I love it every time she says it; she's said it a good 10 times (3 times during this conversation) and it tickles me pink to hear her say it...EVERY TIME! I even acted like I was iggin her so she would say it again. Gotta love this emotional lady.

Now she is talking about how to move and how it needs to be organized. My brothers idea of moving is throw everything in a black trash bag and do it moving. As a result of his bootleg moving style, he thinks she is overly sophisticated because she is encouraging him to use the bins from Walmart to properly store his stuff. He thinks it's a waste of money. He's a goon; he doesn't know any better, bless his heart.

Now the conversation has progressed to family updates, who is pregnant, who is getting married, when I'm having kids....let me tell you something, kids are not in the near future, thank the dearest baby Jesus for THAT...PAUSE

My nephew just got slapped in the face for talking back. Dude, you're 11 and be trying to get buck with your 51 year old g-ma...cool your jets and get it together. That's why you got slapped, talking about you aint 3 years old. Bwahahahhahahahah you just got slapped like you was 3...homie.

When I want morning comedy, I call my mother. She entertains me and now I have shared that entertainment with you and my coffee is gone so I must hang up with her and post this so I can get some work done today. Cheerio and good day!!!

1 points of view:

Anonymous said...

I'm the one who is suppose to say Good Day darn it!

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