Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Bruce...PLEASE..Not Today!!!!

I traded in the love of my life (Juvie) a month or so ago and am now basking in the glory of Bruce. I feel like it's me and Bruce against the world already...that is until Bruce decides he wants to do the Harlem Shake every time I take off. Bruce...cut it out.

I am sure this is his way of acting out because I have had no choice but to use Unleaded in him when he SPECIFICALLY yells out to me to put Premium in every time I twist his gas top off. I have apologized profusely...it ain't my fault Brucee Bee! If the gas situation would get under control, Mama wouldn't have to abuse you with this lesser gasoline. I have tried to explain to him that driving miles upon miles JUST to get him something to drink is ALL BAD and then when I get there....they don't have Cristal...all they got is Boone's Farms and I'm sorry but that's what he's gonna get. He is NOT trying to hear it...at all. Who knew cars could have such NASTY attitudes???

I'm bout fed up with this sense of entitlement he came with. This was not in the financing agreement. Apparently he is notorious for this nasty attitude he is developing because when I called my mechanic, I got a chuckle. Not from Bruce; from the mechanic. Mind you, my mechanic has known me since I was 7 years old so he would NEVER rip me off but the minute I told him what I traded Juvie in for he snickered and then let out a laugh when I said I been giving him Unleaded Cocktails. You gone laugh in my face like that? For real? Okay.

To make matters worst, my mechanic has had the unmitigated gall to move on my azz. Not closer to where I live. Oh no! That would be too much like right for me. He done moved EVEN FARTHER away. I can't win for losing today. It's just not my day. So now, I have to drive a good 30 minutes away from my house to get Bruce checked on, even though my mechanic, in between his laughing assured me that it is more than likely my truck being temperamental as hell and I need to listen to his demands.

I'm convinced it's only the gas consumption because I was driving my step-child the other day and she was trying to act up too. I gave her a stern look because nothing as pretty as Champagne Beauty should be showing their azz but she has started to act up like Bruce. Maybe they were conspiring in the parking lot against me and The Bestest for giving them Boone's Farm when they clearly stated before we decided to purchase them that they only have a taste for the finer things in life.

After Saturday, I will be using an extra 30 cents a gallon to let Bruce know I don't need no problems right now. Mama got some bikinis, dresses, and pants to buy...and I gotta stunt on some folks within the next couple of months so I need him working to his best ability. These kids, I tell yah...just wanna show they azz when they don't get what they want!!!!

Talking about Bruce has made me scarf this coffee down far too fast...going for my refill now.

1 points of view:

Brittni said...

Pure hilarity

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